• You've had the slap, now for the tickle!

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    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    Just a place for some silly giggles, nothing more nothing less!

    A man came into a bar with a steering wheel between his legs,

    the barman asks - did you know thats there?

    he answered - yes it's driving me nuts!

    x

    1272065588
    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    Dame Nelly Melba on being presented with a gelatine based pudding which hadn't been allowed to set properly...

    There are two things I like stiff and one of them is jelly!

    x

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    sexy little minx [sign in to see picture]
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    A little old man totters into the chemist for some viagra.

    "I need them cut into quarters" he says.

    The chemist replies... "A quarter tablet will not give you much of a hard on"

    The old man says "I'm 96 and don't have much use for a hard on, I just want it sticking out far enough to stop me pissing on my slippers!"

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    Student20 [sign in to see picture]
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    A neutron walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He asks the barman 'How much?'. The barman replies 'For you? No charge'.

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    Geek humour This is probably the geekies I know:

    Heisenberg is caught speeding and he gets pulled over by a policeman
    The policeman says "Sir do you know how fast you were going?"
    Heisenbers says "no, but I know exactly where I am!"

    xxKPxx

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    Student20 [sign in to see picture]
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    Take that Schroedinger!

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Ooooo Ooooo can we discuss the many worlds interpretation of quantuum mechanics as an alternative answer to the policeman?

    Ok. Maybe not.

    This threads 'bin dun ent it'?

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    tronic [sign in to see picture]
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    You have to say it out loud probably but I like this one-

    - What did Freud say comes between fear and sex?

    - funf.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    tronic wrote:

    You have to say it out loud probably but I like this one-

    - What did Freud say comes between fear and sex?

    - funf.

    Penis. His answer to everything...

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    tronic [sign in to see picture]
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    Because he was an Austrian and the german numbers 4,5,6 go 'vier', 'funf', 'sechs', it is a German pun I suppose. Maybe it's not as funny as I thought, but for some reason it tickled my funny bone. :D

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    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

    The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

    x

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    tronic wrote:

    You have to say it out loud probably but I like this one-

    - What did Freud say comes between fear and sex?

    - funf.

    Thanks for this one!

    I told it to a German today... she didn't get it at first. Didn't get my other joke either... How many times does something have to occur before the humourless German is a valid stereotype?

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    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    Whats the difference between Essex girls and Essex boys?

    Essex girls have a higher sperm count

    x

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    masterandslave wrote:

    Whats the difference between Essex girls and Essex boys?

    Essex girls have a higher sperm count

    x

    Ouch for the Essexers... or what ever they're called...

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    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    masterandslave wrote:

    Whats the difference between Essex girls and Essex boys?

    Essex girls have a higher sperm count

    x

    Ouch for the Essexers... or what ever they're called...

    i'm one myself!!

    x

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    masterandslave wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    masterandslave wrote:

    Whats the difference between Essex girls and Essex boys?

    Essex girls have a higher sperm count

    x

    Ouch for the Essexers... or what ever they're called...

    i'm one myself!!

    x

    So what is the correct term for 'your lot'?

    Essexer, Essexian, Essexon?

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    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    I really have no idea, other than the boys at school used to call themselves sexers, smooth!

    x

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    bumble [sign in to see picture]
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    Haha, i was just thinking yesterday whether i should start a joke thread, but i decided that i would just pop one in the 'good morning thread' whenever i heard a good one!

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    bumble [sign in to see picture]
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    True or False

    1. The clitoris is a type of flower.

    2. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.

    3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.

    4. Vagina is a medical term to describe a heart attack.

    5. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.

    6. A G-string is part of a fiddle.

    7. Semen is a term for sailors.

    8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.

    9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.

    10. Asphalt describes rectal problems.

    11. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.

    12. Coitus is a musical instrument.

    13. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.

    14. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.

    15. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.

    16. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.

    17. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.

    18. Pornography is the business of making records.

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    bumble [sign in to see picture]
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    blackburnmale wrote:

    right in the middle of a discussion about funerals pmsl

    Yep, i really know how to pick my moment!

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