1. My libido comes and goes

    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
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    Does anyone elses libido come and go? Like I can have several dry months where I have zero sexual desire to like now where its all I can think about lol. Im not on any medication, not on any contraception etc, I'm in my 30s so just wondering if its an age thing?  Also lately I have been sent a secret squirell tester and it has blown me away lol, I had some action this weekend too after several months of nothing and I suppose that has kicked my vagina back into life? lol. TIA 🐼

    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Do these periods of no libido coinside with lack of actual sex? because I think that when you reach a certain age and you are not young and horny  anymore, you learn to cope with the frustration from not getting any action by shutting down your libido until there is need for it, then it can come back.

    I have had so little action my entire life that mine shut down compleatly years ago. Now it needs someone to get it going again, as that is a very rare occurance, I'm not even sure it will come back at all. I can still play solo, but it's a case of trying to start my own engine, and that gets more difficult as time goes on. 

    So I would say it's a case of use it or loose it. There is one plus side to the way I am, I have come to be in a state of neither ever wanting sex, or never not wanting sex; I simply don't get frustrated and crazy horny if it's not there, but I think I would be up for it anytime if someone wanted me.

    I feel like it has liberated me from the confines of a libdo, unlike people who clmib the walls if there is no sex when they are in the mood for it, yet feel at times that because they are not feeling horny they don't want sex.

    HunnyMonster29 [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes. I think a lot of things can affect your sex drive. I know mine took a nose dive when I got my contraceptive implant. My teens and 20s were pretty lacking in the sex department and it's upsetting that those years are gone now. 

    However, it came back with a vengeance when I was about 27. It felt like a dormant volcano had erupted, lol. Let's just say some kinks were realised and I found out what worked for me. Now my sex drive is pretty consistent and I have sex/masturbate regulary.

    It's going to be interesting when I get my implant removed next month. I may just unleash a beast, lol. 

    MsR [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes, it can come and go. I think in a long term relationship things often wax and wane, and it can be a case of 'use it or lose it', and of trying new things to keep that spark.

    But I think what you are talking about is something a bit different. Women react differently to hormone fluctuations and some women can react quite strongly and in unexpected ways, be that monthly or as they approach peri-menopause. Also our bodies and minds have a sort of conditioned response to external stimulation of all kinds, so the more you get used to feeling desire, the more you will respond.

    You mention your age so that might be in the mix. You also said that being a 'secret squirrel' tester sparked things off. So, experimenting and being mindful of changing hormones are maybe something many women need to keep in mind.

    My own experience: in my late 30s I had my bloods tested as we wanted another baby but I had been very ill the previous year. The test showed that hormonally I was nearly menopausal at 38. (We still conceived very quicky, luckily). I had my last period at 42. For about 4-5 years from about age 40 onwards I lost all interest in sex. I didn't even think about it as I went about my day. That whole sense of 'desire' disappeared. So much so that I didn't even miss it. I did have a sense of loss, tho.

    And suddenly it came back. No rhyme or reason to it, just a little trigger: I saw an actor in a film and found myself thinking, 'he's nice - what else has he been in?'. And I realised I was interested again. My OH is relieved! He was very understanding during my fallow period and now we are making up for lost time. We reclaimed our sex life and I bought a few bits and pieces from Lovehoney (I now have the world's biggest collection) and later joined this forum, all of which fuels this dimension to our lives. I'll be 49 soon and I'm not at all thinking of retiring with a cup of cocoa any time soon!

    So, sorry for the long reply. Things can wax and wane, naturally, so see if you can find some triggers and enjoy yourself, alone or with someone else, when desire kicks in.

    Love Stud Too [sign in to see picture]
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    They say use it or lose it. Now that you’re back in the saddle keep it going. Toys are a great way to keep things sexy. 😂

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