1. Started using toys, should I tell my boyfriend?

    sammy-jo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 21 Oct 2018

    So I got a dildo and vibrator a few months ago after I'd been thinking of getting one for a while. I've been used to masturbating pretty much daily for a few years and thought a toy may take the urge off, however they feel so good I'm using my vibrator daily also.

    I still live with my parents and only see my boyfriend at weekends, we have discussed masturbating when we are not together but am wondering if I should tell him I have started to use my vibrator regularly? I'm sure he would be interested to know and I don't want him to find out by accident (by finding my toys) but I'd prefer to keep it to myself for the moment. Do you tell your partner about using toys?

    Lovinthetoys [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 947
    • Joined: 22 Jun 2015

    Personally, i wouldnt be upset to find my partner was using a toy when i wasnt around. As you have already had the masturbation conversation, i dont see it as any different to be honest. We both use toys together and when we are apart, and talking about it isnt an issue.

    AWB1955 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 285
    • Joined: 31 Oct 2016

    Hi Sammyjo I fully agree with lovingthetoys.  I always tell my OH that I have had a session with my toys which he finds a turn on You should tell him I am sure Yes will totally understand that you have the need to use them. I am sure he has a play with his parts. Good luck

    Cheekyface [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 92
    • Joined: 28 Jan 2015

    I think you should send him a sexy video while using it and surprise him rather than just telling him! Then maybe discuss solo play on Skype/FaceTime eying when you can watch each other. I'm sure he wouldn't have any problems at all :)

    Ian Chimp [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1955
    • Joined: 27 Mar 2018

    We generally use ours together. Mrs Chimp has a lot more than I do, but I have to admit I enjoy watching/helping her use hers more than I like using mine. 🙂 If we didn't live together or see each other regularly I'd still hope she was using them.

    If you're not quite ready to tell him yet then there's no rush, just be prepared for if he does stumble across them. I think 'masturbation' to a lot of people means using toys (especially women) so, depending on how specific you were in your conversation, he may already assume that's what you're up to.

    Hopefully, when you choose to tell him, he'll find the idea of you using toys just as exciting as I feel about my wife using hers. And don't forget that a lot of guys can also appreciate a bit of vibration on their genitals too, so there's lots of scope to experiment together. 👍🙂

    Delightful87 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 202
    • Joined: 4 Feb 2015
    Hubby and I use toys together and rarely apart- we try to abstain if he’s working away or working nights so when we’re together the sex is even better!

    If you’re not ready to divulge that information that’s ok! You have to be ready. I would say make sure they’re away and any cleaning wipes or solution that you use to clean them with is also hidden. *If* he does stumble across them then you’d have to deal with it.

    It’s nothing to be ashamed of but likewise you have to be ready and in control of telling your other half when you are able to.

    P.S have fun with your toys! I’m sure your OH will be eager to help you out or stand back and watch once he finds out :)
    HunnyMonster29 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 261
    • Joined: 2 Apr 2018

    Yes! My partner is happy that I use toys and he always pesters me to send naughty photos to him, lol. He even asks how what thought of certain ones and which ones I have my eye one. I currently only see him on weekends and I usually bring the "toy of the week" to show him. 

    When I first said I wanted to use toys, he wasn't offended at all and was supportive. It's nothing to feel ashamed of and maybe your partner will appreciate that you shared that personal thing with him? Good luck. 

    DLJL [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 292
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2015

    Yes, honesty is the best policy. I love to see my OH with her toys.

    ShannonMarlene [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 753
    • Joined: 14 Dec 2013

    Honestly, I don’t think he’d mind at all. It’s not like you’re replacing him with the toys and besides, it’s perfectly normal to feel like playing on your own sometimes. We use our toys alone, together and through sexy photos/videos. You should tell him but you really shouldn’t need permission to use it. Trying approaching the subject by maybe saying ‘Oh, a friend recommended this, so I thought I’d give it a try.’

    New enjoyment [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 15 Mar 2019

    I’ve been thinking about getting some toys as oh works away and fancy trialling but I would absolutely tell him he would find it a huge turn on I’m sure ! Xxx

    Love Stud Too [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 427
    • Joined: 11 Dec 2015

    Absolutely!!! Toys bring a different dimension to sex. Telling him that you have toys will be such a turn on. Whether you play solo or together he will love it especially knowing what you get up to solo 😀

    MrsG. [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 219
    • Joined: 13 Jan 2019

    If your not 100% sure how your boyfriend will react bring up the subject of toys and solo play, talk to him, from what said sounds like he be more then happy with your desires. My OH loves to know if I've played with my toys whilst he's out and I'm the same. I also leave them out for him when I'm going out so he can have some of his own play. Also we love to use them together and on each other.

    KinkyMira [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1767
    • Joined: 24 Jan 2017

    Hi Sammy Jo, I would tell him. Most men find it a turn on, and it gives you plenty to talk about. Mine likes a detailed account of what I'm up to, and I enjoy getting him excited, so it is a win-win.

    You say "I'd prefer to keep it to myself for the moment." That is perfectly OK if that's what you feel. You do need to be prepared with what to say if he finds the toys. However, I think you need to ask yourself why you feel like that, and proceed from there.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.