• Ever paid for sex?

    1310413790
    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
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    I think that's a pretty Dail Mail-esque view. Sure, some will be trafficked or drug addicts or in some way 'trapped' into it, but a lot actually choose to do it of their own volition, and I think it's rather offensive to those women to claim that they're not capable of making their own decisions about their life because they clearly made the 'wrong' one.

    I'd actually think it takes a hell of a lot of self esteem to say that your body and sexual ability is worth paying for! The ones who are going in feeling worthless are not likely to last long, as the bad element see that kind of attitude straight away, and they'll be targets for abuse or worse: the ones who have a strict client list, or are choosey about who they work with, that takes a lot of balls and a lot of self-assurance.

    And it's actually offensive to folk who have been raped, too, to say that prostituion is almost the same thing: being raped, you have no say in it whatsoever, you don't put your name down on a "please rape me" list at any point, or tell the person doing it that it's ok. Completely different, and very offensive to both parties.

    1310414601
    ghostgirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Roxy Roller wrote:

    I think prostitution is like paying to rape a woman. Its disgusting... The women that do it are desperate and have probably been trafficked into the country, or can't escape from whoever is forcing them to do it. Either that or they have a drug addiction or they need to support their families and feel that it's the only way to make money cos they have so little self esteem.

    So sad!

    Roxy do you know or have to ever had a proper conversation with a sex worker? The few that I am aware of are smart women who have not been trafficked dont do drugs and have plenty of self esteem.

    It isnt something which I would do myself but I do feel that it should be legalised in order to give better protection to the men and women who work within the sex industry

    I also agree with BB that comparing it to rape is very offensive to anyone who has had experience of being raped or dealing with a friend or relative who has been

    xGGx

    1310420095
    Miss Behaviour [sign in to see picture]
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    100% with you there on the view about victims of rape GG.

    In the countryI live, prostitution is legal, and conducted(mostly) in very well managed brothels, the girls all have health passes and are well treated. Obviously you can´t generalise about the majority, but the girls I have met all entered the business through their own free will, and enjoy the work. However, there is always the illegal pimping/trafficking and girls being abused if you use the street hookers, and there are no guarentees about health. What I find tragic is if you cross the border into CZE republic, there are very young girls, probably about 12, on every street corner for miles and no shortage of takers, these men should be ashamed of themselves, IMHO

    1310470796
    Roxy Roller [sign in to see picture]
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    well without going into it I have experienced it (not prostitution, the latter) so i do know what im talking about. I've known a few girls that have been in the sex industry and had very traumatic experiences too, that's what ive built my opinions on.

    1310470897
    Roxy Roller [sign in to see picture]
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    also, Ghostgirl, there are differences in what type of sex worker a girl is, whether she is an escort that is in control of what she does, a street prostitute, or anything in between

    1310471800
    dannyxcore [sign in to see picture]
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    I haven't paid for sex, but I'd probably consider it, especially with some of the kinkier things I like!

    I'd be more than willing to get paid for sex though, but only with guys.

    1310473649
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Roxy, It's bad that you have had traumatic experiences, for that I am sorry.

    Some sex workers I am sure are doing it because they are trapped or need the money.

    However, I know some who do it because they enjoy it, the choose to do it. They are not forced into it.

    I do think generalizing is bad anyway but suggesting all sex workers are being rapped is offensive to both sex workers and rape victims.

    Most people on here have opinions on things, some of them strong. With a large group of people from different backgrounds, races, ages, religions, sexuality etc, people need to respect other peoples feelings. These forums can be a fantastic place as I am sure many would agree, but I think it would be best if you considered other people in your posts.

    1310474446
    ghostgirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Roxy Roller wrote:

    also, Ghostgirl, there are differences in what type of sex worker a girl is, whether she is an escort that is in control of what she does, a street prostitute, or anything in between

    I understand that there are many aspects to the sex industry and equally as many reasons why people, both men and women, work within the industry. Generalisations are not productive, yes there are some women who are forced/ trafficed/ coerced into the work. There are some who are paying for a habit or addiction and there are some who do it because they see no other option. However there are some who choose to do it because they enjoy it because they want to be in control of their own lives because they choose to do it.

    I am sorry that you have had a bad experience, I know from supporting a sister through being raped at 15 that it leaves scars which cannot be seen but to connect the 2 issues is IMHO wrong. It belittles the damage that rape causes to victims and their families and fails to help remove the stigma which society attaches to those who have been sexually assulted in any way.

    xGGx

    1310475341
    crag630 [sign in to see picture]
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    I will be blunt though from personal expierience I know too well what rape does to people mentally but there is such a gap between rape and sex work I just dont know how you can draw that conclusion.

    However I do know somone in my family who at a young age turned to prostitution not for money but because of self of steem issues basically it made her feel wanted by somone at least at a time when my family was falling apart.

    But you should not be steryotyping especially not in these forums. And there are many great people on here who would gladly help anyone with any problems sexual or other wise

    1310477046
    mrbumps [sign in to see picture]
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    well, ive never paid for sex as such, i travelled asia when i was younger for a few months and well, i was young and it was pretty much a sex tour. i got offered sex for money where ever we went but it was really easy to get sex without having to pay for it. thailand was full of women/ladyboys/men w/e your into who just wanted to f&*k for a few drinks. good times, good times.
    and as far as prostitution goes, im japanese and our teenage girls quite freely sell themselves, its a very common thing in japan and has been happening for hundreds of years and it doesnt help matters that japan has a legal age of consent of 16 however, individual prefectures have their own age of consents that contradict the national one. so the age of consent ranges from 13-18 across the country and one island i forget the name the age of consent is still 10 years old which is what it was a few hundred years ago for prostitutes (age of consent was 13 years old but if you sold your child into servitude it was 10 years old for a ex worker)

    1310514713
    atlanta [sign in to see picture]
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    Roxy Roller wrote:

    I think prostitution is like paying to rape a woman. Its disgusting... The women that do it are desperate and have probably been trafficked into the country, or can't escape from whoever is forcing them to do it. Either that or they have a drug addiction or they need to support their families and feel that it's the only way to make money cos they have so little self esteem.

    So sad!

    This is a widely held view, but not necessarily the whole picture. Of course coercion is unacceptable. But actually the prostitution is slavery argument does very little in the way of facing up to the realities of prostitution. The UN said prostitution said was equivalent to slavery back in 1948 or thereabouts. Since then prostitutes have had to cope with being on the wrong side of the law as well as everything else.

    1311071460
    sally 54 [sign in to see picture]
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    I haven't read all the comments, but I want to say that I was very upset when I found out that my then 21 year old son went to a prostitute in Thailand, when on holiday with his father. His father came into the room unexpectedly and found her there with him. He told me about it, but Son has never said anything to me.

    His father thinks it's no big deal but it broke my heart. My son is a nice young man, not bad - looking but with low self-esteem. He never goes to pubs and clubs and, now 23, has never had a girlfriend, and only has one real male friend. It just breaks my heart that he should feel so desperate that he should pay to lose his virginity.

    I know I can't help him, and you can't, but I wanted to tell someone how I feel.

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    [suspended user]

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    Hey Sally its not so bad he paid for it .Its probally because of his low esteem/shyness he done it that way,i losT my cherry to a hooker but it only cost me a drink,but it didn't feel dirty or cheap .And must say i did shout whoohoo after wards and that was 40 yrs ago now .And now i'm happily married have 2 children and now this week my first grandson so what i'm saying is don't worry he's done the deed now ,perhaps he'll be ok just like i was and still am.Everyone has to start or experiment somewhere along the line and it's not that easy for some girls/or guys

    1311072589
    Miss Behaviour [sign in to see picture]
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    Sally, I am sad that you feel your son has broken your heart. Try and understand, if he already suffers from low self esteem, he probably was wracked with nerves, and terrified if he would "do it right" . It probably helped him to be with someone who would show him how, and not judge him, and also someone who didn´t really matter to him.

    Personally I think a lot is made of losing one´s virginity, yes it should be a special thing and indeed it can be, but, and I am guessing here, I would imagine for the majority of us it was far from what we all imagined it would be. I know mine certainly was, a 5 minute fumble which left me bleeding and unsatisfied, maybe I was unlucky.

    1311093052
    atlanta [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Sally

    As most working girls will tell you nearly all their clients are "nice guys".

    One of the reasons that men go to working girls is that they don't want to saddle "nice" girls with their "dirty" desires. Furthermore a working girl is supposed to have the knowledge that a "nice" girl is not supposed to have.

    I can sympathize with your disappointment. But I think it's important not to be judgemental and controlling regarding your childrens' sex lives. If you are they will eventually stop telling you stuff.

    1311099295
    sally 54 [sign in to see picture]
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    No I'm not being judgemental. I think prostitution should be legalised actually.

    I don't think I've expressed myself very well in talking about him losing his virginity in that way as that's not really the issue. What I'm getting at is that it makes me sad because to me, it looks like he went to a prostitute because he can't get a girl, and doesn't think he's attractive to girls, so he has to pay. I've heard him say, "Who's going to fancy me?" That's what breaks my heart! I can remember saying a similar thing at his age when I had lowself-esteem and thought no man would ever want me.

    He won't talk about it to me, and I wouldn't dream of pointing out that I think he may be lonely. That's what I'm getting at. It's not the loss of virginity, it's that he's never had a girlfriend, yet he is such a nice young man, and he's far from ugly!!

    Thank you all for your comments.

    1311100959
    Regular Punter [sign in to see picture]
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    In short : Yes, Yes and more Yes

    Judging by some of the comments on this thread I decided that as a long standing forum member I would be better off creating a new ID just for this thread.

    Of the very many ladies I have visited, not one of them is trafficked or as far as I know an addict. Yes, there are those poor lost soles that solicit on street corners but I'm referring to independent escorts who are often very well educated, immaculate ladies who have made a "career" choice to entertain gentlemen in search of sexy fun. These ladies take their work very seriously and usually operate from discreet hight class modern apartments as opposed to the seedy hovels alluded to here.

    I won't be back in this guise to defend any further but sometimes a man doesn't get "enough" at home or doesn't get "what he wants" at home so he may choose to engage the services of an escort. Responsible escorts also take hygiene and safety precautions very seriously.

    My view is that a cash transaction between two consenting adults is a private matter between them but is always on strictly professional grounds with no strings attached. How many forum members here have had an affair at some stage in their lives? Maybe someone will start a thread asking who's had or having an affair!!! An affair is normally a matter of the heart and takes over the perpetrators life often causing great hurt to the husband or wife. Although I know my visits are tantamount to infidelity I am not seeking a surrogate relationship to replace a dreary / non-existent sex life at home, rather my visits keep me sexually sane enough to remain in my long term relationship without our sex life becoming an issue.

    Sorry I've dragged on a bit but punters and ladies alike aren't all seedy characters and I'm sure I'm not the only member of this forum engaging in sexual services for cash.

    1311125324
    atlanta [sign in to see picture]
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    I notice that in this thread there are a lot of people who say "I will never pay for it". This reply always make me wonder what they give in return or are they just thieves?

    I know there's quite a few who will disagree and of course there's such a thing as seduction and love, but the attitude makes me feel that there is some dishonesty going on.

    1311147297
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Uhm, why? I dont consider sex in permanent relationship as something I would have to pay for. Or not by money, anyway. There are other payments, like emotions investment, loosing freedom, to certain extent, time investment, etc, and you are still risking it will not pay off in the end. But not money. As I would say that money wise the partners share the expensises and I would never want my partner to pay for mine, or my share of it. And I would not go to a sex worker. For me, sex is about more than just release and also I want to enjoy it and to do so I need to fully trust my lover and I need to feel secure and loved. Maybe old fashioned, but....

    1311157121
    Mr Clumsy [sign in to see picture]
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    My personal opinion is this; making love with someone you love is something totally different to 'just sex' and with all respect, it is true what they say about blokes having to 'relieve the pressure'. You hear of boxers and other sportsmen going without sex prior to competition in order that they will have more pent up aggression, and as a bloke, I can completely see the truth in that.

    [As an aside to the main thread, can any of you ladies share whether it is the same for you?]

    I have never paid for sex, I have thought about it, but never had the bottle to follow it through. I just don't like the idea that someone might see me going in there and what they might think of me or indeed them.

    Wierdly I have some personal friends who do it for a living. They often tell of men who come to pop their cherry, and very rarely get a perv. and hygene is an extremely high priority.

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