1. Female control?

    EmBoldened [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 9 Jun 2018

    Just starting to get into Dom/sub, predominantly sub but also got into dom side fairly easily too, once I’d got some fierce underwear on and a whip in my hand, I was in control and OH couldn’t have been more thrilled! I restrained, teased, edged, whipped him with great pleasure- for him and me!

    collector [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 254
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2013

    C.A wrote:

    stressedmale82 wrote:

    we have a paddle and i bought a mouth gag but she doe snot want me to have this on

    These are things you need to communicate about, it's not a great idea to buy something and just expect your OH to be happy with it and do something. When you have spoken to her about what you like, what she likes, what each of you are happy to try etc then it's best to ease into something. Going straight to a gag could be daunting and scary for her even if it's you using it. If it's something she's happy to dabble into but is still slightly unsure then start very mild. Just with you laying on the bed and her teasing you, then go into blindfolding, tieing hands. and work your way up as lang as both of you are happy and comfortable.

    Agree with this. What my OH and I did was create wish lists on here where we put anything which tickled our individual fancies. We then reviewed the wish lists and started putting stuff into the shopping basket. Anything left in the wish lists was discarded.

    The last step was to review the shopping basket and apply two criteria: 1, is this a step too far, too soon?, 2, can we actually afford all this stuff?

    The toys and garments which fell into 1 were put back in the wish list for another time. For the stuff in 2 we purchased a few at a time or waited for a LH offer to come along.

    Smultron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2257
    • Joined: 10 Mar 2016

    As many others pointed out, this is something you need to talk about with her beforehands. There's already great advice given so I won't repeat it.

    You might even want to do some research on your own first and learn aboud bdsm, femdom, psycological domination, humiliation, being a slave, serving a dom (or domme), crossdressing, gender play (also known as gender fuck), sissification.... and anything else you are interested in.


    Personally, during play or sex I'm dominant with all but one of my partners. Before even touching each other for the first time, I've talked with every partner about the following: -Turn ons, turn offs -What we expect to get out of it -Toys etc we'd like to use -Soft and hard limits -Safewords. We then find our common ground where it will be pleasurable and comfortable for both of us.

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