1. Sexuality and Experimenting

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    Jess1985 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 18 Aug 2005

    I'm newly single after only ever been in straight relationships with guys, although I've always known I am attracted to girls more than guys I've always been too scared or shy to explore this part of my sexuality. But you only live once, right? So I'm wondering if anyone can recommend the best way to start exploring my sexuality and what toys would help me along the way.

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    Gran [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 172
    • Joined: 2 Jun 2018
    Good morning Jess

    I see you joined Lovehoney in 2005, so I'm guessing you have a few toys by now. I wonder what's in your collection ? Certainly you need some self pleasuring toys, like maybe a rabbit - there are so many, you need to look through them and see what you fancy. Something clitoral for sure - I'd recommend the Bang Bang Bunny for soft, gentle play that builds up slowly, and - well, again there are so many. The Womaniser suction ones look amazing, though I haven't tried one, the Desire one is awesome. You may like a wand perhaps? It's all so personal!

    Once you start experimenting with self pleasuring, I'm sure your instincts will lead you.

    As for experimenting with girls - well, I guess you just have to be brace. Get out and about (which will do you good anyway) and see what Ines you pick up. If you're in a lesbian bar or somesuch, you're likely to be safe in assuming that a come on vibe is ok to respond to - I do get that it's hard to make a move when you're not sure of the signals. If gay bars are a bit much for starters, you'll need to be careful at reading vibes with other girls. But take a deep breath and let yourself respond if you're getting a come on from someone you fancy.

    As with everything, take it slowly to begin with. Dip your toes in. Check with yourself how it feels. Don't push yourself too far too fast. Be ready to call a halt if you feel uncomfortable.

    Good luck! Keep us posted 😊

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    KinkyMira [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 565
    • Joined: 24 Jan 2017

    Hi Jess,

    For me, toys weren't really part of my journey. I think toys are a separate category to people, and toys are great, but a thing in their own right.

    All of my girl-on-girl experiences (of which there have been a good number) were with people I knew, and who I knew before we got sexually involved.

    Even as far back as uni, I was involved in a diverse group of friends, including many from what is now the LGBT+ community. They were a great bunch who I was able to discuss things with. Back then, there wasn't as much info around, so you had to seek it out more. Well, after a while, one of those people I talked to admitted she liked me and she offered to teach me a few things. So friendship was how I started, and friendships is how I continue. I'm not a pick up someone in the bar type for men or women, so this suits me.

    So my advice is to get out there to LGBT+ events and talk to people. There is a whole social scene out there, that me and my husband are involved with, so go with an open mind and get chatting. You might find someone to experiment with, but I advise that isn't really your goal, just go and socialise.

    All the best and I hope you enjoy the ride!

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    Bunnybomb2015 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 238
    • Joined: 28 Jun 2018

    As said above toys are brill but certainly not really a part of exploring sexuality for me. A lot of my girl on girl encounters have been with friends who were also exploring their sexuality, even as far as my best friend! I would definitely explore a bit more it’s a real eye opener to see exactly where you lie in terms of sexuality and who your attracted to but I also would suggest maybe going to a gay club or something? I did and because there was so many like minded people either people who are just attracted girls or bi or even same as me and just wanting to experiment, it was a very good experience for me. I’m openly bisexual and love having sex with both genders but I know as far as a relationship would go, I want to only be in one with a man. Just because that’s what works for me but that knowledge came with going out there and just exploring the field. As far as which toys to get, that really depends on what your into, toys are great but they are great in their own right, nothing to do with whether your attracted to males or females! I hope things go well for you and you get the chances to explore, I think it’s important for everyone to explore a little bit ☺️

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