1. Mastrubation, where to start?

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    Ms Morningstar [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 4 Oct 2014

    So, I've played a little with myself once in a while, but since stopping the pill, I feel a lot hornier than ever before. I've never had an orgasme, and don't really know where to start either.. HELP!

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    Ian Chimp [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 797
    • Joined: 27 Mar 2018

    Hello and welcome. 🙂

    If you're an absolute toy beginner then I'd read this helpful Lovehoney guide about buying your first sex toy -

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/buyers-guide/how-to-choose-your-first-sex-toy/

    There's also some great starter kits that allow you to try out a few different vibrator styles without breaking the bank. They're not the swishest of toys, mainly abs plastic and battery powered, but we got one and it really helped narrow down what we wanted to invest some real money in.

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37698

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37697

    There's so many toys to choose from, and lots I could recommend. If you could say what you think you'd might like to try (clitoral, rabbit, g-spot, suction dildo, etc, etc) that'd help me pick some that you might enjoy.

    Hope this helps 🙂

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    Mature 2 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 408
    • Joined: 1 Jan 2016

    I discovered masturbating at a young age . I thought for a long time that I was odd. I orgasm easily by concentrating on my clitorus. Even during sex I like attention to that area I think because of my early years of masturbating.

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    Chrissyjoe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 28 Sep 2013

    Get your self a lipstick vibe from LH  ms Morningstar I've got all the toys under the sun but the lipstick vibe is without doubt the best. Just had a play this afternoon by the way.

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    KERMIT [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 183
    • Joined: 6 Jan 2010

    Nice to play in the afternoon 

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    KinkyHedonistCouple [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    • Joined: 12 May 2011

    Hello there, 

    It always makes me a little sad when girls say they have not achieved an orgasm, with such wonderful possibilities at your disposal and speaking as a man, I would have a lot of fun with that anatomy.

    First, don't worry about it. It is actually pretty normal, worrying is only going to make life harder. I would reccomend putting on a film which gets you hot under the collar, or perhaps read some steamy stories about a scenario you may have always been curious/fantasised about. Turn the lights off, possibly light a candle or an essential oil burner - make the environment to your liking, soft and sensual. Most certainly turn off your mobile phone or leave it in another room and make sure you aren't expecting any visitors. 

    Then simply explore yourself. Find out what makes you feel good and have fun exploring your body. It might help if you take a mirror and look at yourself while you are exploring, see how your body reacts so beautifully to your touch and feel extra naughty in the process. 

    If you have some lube or something slippery this would help too, and use soft stroking moves around your most sensitive parts, vary the pressure and the speed, try to add rotation into the mix too. Try to adjust things so that you feel completely relaxed, most often women struggle to orgasm if they have trouble detaching themselves from the worries of every day life.

    Essentially what I am suggesting is that you have some fun with yourself, do not feel pressure of wanting to have this elusive orgasm, experiment and have fun. Learn how your body reacts, be concious of how your body contracts as the pleasure builds and feel the waves rising until you can't stop yourself from intensifying the sensations - the rest should follow very naturally. 

    Also keep in mind that different women can have different sensitivity, while it seems true that most women require clitoral stimulation in order to achieve a regular orgasm, there are many who desire vaginal penetration and many still who can reach their orgasms analy. If you continue to have trouble I would highly reccomend you purchase a few toys (try a few different things to see what you really like). 

    If you want much easier results, I would highly reccomend getting yourself one of LH's magic wand type vibrators - it may seem like overkill as these things are mains powered and very large, however they are so very popular because they do the job so wonderfully. For example, I will often use our magic wand vibrator to force my little wifey to have multiple orgasms while she is tied up and collared - the first few times she had no idea her body could be made to do that. 

    I hope this mind blowing experience will change your life for the better - everyone should have the delicious pleasure of that wonderful release. Just remember, take the pressure off, it's not a race, just learn to really enjoy the wonderful body you have been given!

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    NoBigO [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 7 Aug 2018

    Glad I’m not alone. I’ve never had one, can’t do it myself and can’t get anyone else to bring me anywhere near close. I’ve pretty much tried everything and given up hope. My clitoris isn’t very sensitive.. I can only really feel something if vibrator is quite powerful. This sensation lasts a few seconds I feel a bit weird and it’s gone.

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    Gran [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 172
    • Joined: 2 Jun 2018
    You're not the only one! I don't orgasm often, though I do if I haven't had any sex for ages, and I take a really long time about pleasuring myself. During sex it's almost impossible. BUT - I love sex, and just get higher and higher without the big O.

    Great advice from KHC - I'd really recommend a mirror too. Your bits are really beautiful, and the way your lips will swell and your clit will harden as you play is really worth watching! Get some lube - even if you're super juicy it's great to make your very slippery especially as you begin exploring. And take your time. It can take me an hour and a half of intense and dedicated playtime to get to the big O, but if I've had an orgasm in the last month or three, I won't have one no matter what I do - but the pleasure is intense and amazing without one. It's the journey that is important, not the over rated O.

    I'm not knocking orgasms, they're great, but pleasure can go through the roof without one.

    You may like to try filming yourself (on your phone is fine) and watching it - better than porn any day IMHO.

    As KHC says, find something that starts you off (or turns you on) like a story or your imagination, then really settle down into exploring your wonderful body. There are bits I bet you never dreamed of! Find out how far your clitoris goes - it's much bigger than you think.

    Oh - I could go on for ever - good luck, have fun, feel naughty, flick that bean!!

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