1. Fear of remaining single

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    Mr-Mrs-Sexy [sign in to see picture]
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    I would say that what is meant to be will be, there is no reason you should have a boyfriend just because it's the social norm, just live your life how you see fit and do what makes you happy.

    If you think you'd like a partner then my advice is... and this may be a bit controversial but don't look for one.

    I have had many girlfriends in the past and the good ones have come when I wasn't actively searching for one. If that makes sense. Maybe it's do do with if you're searching and almost subconsciously needing one then you, again, subconsciously lower your standards of what you're after. I met my partner on tinder which we were both using for casual sex neither of us looking for a relationship and she will say that i would be the complete opposite of what she would have thought her type was but it was meant to be we get married in 48 days

    So in short, get yourself socialising into some groups as said above. Gym is a massive thumbs up from me & my OH as she had low self esteem but when she's done a good few workouts in a week she's is so confident and the main point is don't feel any pressure to get a partner just because you think you're running out of time...

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    NiceGuyNorthEast [sign in to see picture]
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    Currently in a similar situation, most other friends are coupled up and the other is managing to get dates.

    Think the adivce given so far is the best, get out there and join some groups etc. I, like you, don't have a massive amount of confidence, but as I keep getting told, just need to take that jump and see what happens.

    I know what your sayin about having a cetain type you want, I want the same and my friends call me an enigma (in a nice way), but my view is that I came out of a relationship and I know what I want.

    Oh and guessing its a sign for this thread, but just as I started reading, Foo Fighters - Times Like These came on Spotify

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    Unique lady [sign in to see picture]
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    I’m the exact same I’ve been single for 10 years and have given up all hope that I will ever have a relationship and I mean a real relationship not just a call or a text late at night for you know what !

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    The Mighty Thong [sign in to see picture]
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    Having had relatively short-term relationships with girlfriends and then a somewhat long-term one in which I got married (now happily divorced for a long, long time), I've come to realise that being in a relationship is just not me as it causes me to feel stifled and become overwhelmed with such negative feelings. As I've gotten older (now 50), I've honed my creative talents and resources and virtually built my own 'world' in which I can manoeuvre quite freely and spiritually. Whether its writing poetry, listening to music, keeping fit, meditating or even masturbating - it's realising your self-worth and what works for you in your 'world'. I'm a loner, but I'm not lonely. Selfish? Possibly, but in a good sense because somebody's gotta look our for me, so it has to be ME. I welcome social interactivity with other people providing they have similar interests and good conversation, but I'm very mindful of the negative and cynical 'brigade' who gradually encroach upon and consequentially pollute my positive energy and well-being. 

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    The Mighty Thong wrote:

    Having had relatively short-term relationships with girlfriends and then a somewhat long-term one in which I got married (now happily divorced for a long, long time), I've come to realise that being in a relationship is just not me as it causes me to feel stifled and become overwhelmed with such negative feelings. As I've gotten older (now 50), I've honed my creative talents and resources and virtually built my own 'world' in which I can manoeuvre quite freely and spiritually. Whether its writing poetry, listening to music, keeping fit, meditating or even masturbating - it's realising your self-worth and what works for you in your 'world'. I'm a loner, but I'm not lonely. Selfish? Possibly, but in a good sense because somebody's gotta look our for me, so it has to be ME. I welcome social interactivity with other people providing they have similar interests and good conversation, but I'm very mindful of the negative and cynical 'brigade' who gradually encroach upon and consequentially pollute my positive energy and well-being. 

    A key word or words that you have used is "Social Interactivity"

    That is an area were some singles struggle with as they dont socialse but just stay at home in the hope that another single will be knocking on their door. Unfortuantely life isnt like that and if you dont want to remain single you have to get out there unless of course internet dating is the thing .

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    The Mighty Thong [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    The Mighty Thong wrote:

    Having had relatively short-term relationships with girlfriends and then a somewhat long-term one in which I got married (now happily divorced for a long, long time), I've come to realise that being in a relationship is just not me as it causes me to feel stifled and become overwhelmed with such negative feelings. As I've gotten older (now 50), I've honed my creative talents and resources and virtually built my own 'world' in which I can manoeuvre quite freely and spiritually. Whether its writing poetry, listening to music, keeping fit, meditating or even masturbating - it's realising your self-worth and what works for you in your 'world'. I'm a loner, but I'm not lonely. Selfish? Possibly, but in a good sense because somebody's gotta look our for me, so it has to be ME. I welcome social interactivity with other people providing they have similar interests and good conversation, but I'm very mindful of the negative and cynical 'brigade' who gradually encroach upon and consequentially pollute my positive energy and well-being. 

    A key word or words that you have used is "Social Interactivity"

    That is an area were some singles struggle with as they dont socialse but just stay at home in the hope that another single will be knocking on their door. Unfortuantely life isnt like that and if you dont want to remain single you have to get out there unless of course internet dating is the thing .

    Yes, most definitely, you must attempt to get out there if you don't want to remain single and perhaps by gradualy building and introducing several socialising elements into your life through interests and hobbies may also be the key to the partnership route. 

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    Wide-awake [sign in to see picture]
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    I had a few relationships in my teens and twenties but have been single for the best part of 20 years. To many people's surprise I love being single. I have no desire to be in a relationship. I tend to describe myself as being "very happily single". The only thing I've started to miss is sex. Whether my hormones are starting to play up, as I slowly approach the menopause, or for whatever other reason I do miss sex. Toys are great but a good, hard f*** is what I crave.

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    Guy14357 [sign in to see picture]
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    I used to have that fear then I got married now I’m single again and I don’t have that fear. I’m not saying I’m not interested in a new relationship but I’m not actively looking like last time. Being single isn’t bad. I’m sure there’s plenty of people who are interested in you. Don’t put yourself down if this guy loses interest because your not sending pictures he’s not worth it. I’m sure your man is out there somewhere x 

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    Barney68 [sign in to see picture]
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    I can speak as a single man and understand and appreciate your post. I’m in the same boat, it would be lovely to meet someone, spend time with them and do nice things with them. Not sure how that’s going to happen as I rarely go out! Things happen for a reason, we can always explain what that reason is though.

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    pantieman247 [sign in to see picture]
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    i have been on my own for about 7yrs and i would love to meet someone to spend the rest off my time with

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    MissTerror [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm a ridiculously independent person, lived alone in my own house for the last 5-6 years, pay my own way and look after myself and my doggo. I've had relationships during that time but nothing that ever really stuck!

    I find it hard to trust people due to crappy relationship history and whilst I'm happy on my own, I won't lie I do love the idea of being able to cook for someone and look after someone or get home to a cuppa post training and just be able to cuddle up on the sofa etc. I don't need a relationship but to be honest it would be really nice.

    Find it really hard to meet people, I'm not a going out kinda person, I spend most of my time working or in the gym! Anytime I do end up meeting people they just kinda want hookups and meaningless sex which isn't awful because needs - BUT - still not great! 

    You don't need to act a certain way or worry about being alone, there is an incredible strength and empowerment that comes from being independent - you should never need a man, only want one. And the right man will put in the work and effort so you don't have to feel like you have to work to keep interest!

    BUY ALL OF THE THINGS :D

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    The crowd we tend to mix in with at weekends tend to be the 40+ . Many of them we talk to are not  looking for hook ups or one night stands in my parlance . They are actually looking for a proper relationship and somebody they can care for and in return be looked after themsleves. Despite the so called "ticking clock" many of them being patient and looking for that right person.  Personaly I think  your never too old to find that special person and therfore age shouldnt be a factor .

    On saying that I do feel that many of the younger ones perhaps have slightly different agendas and perhaps some are not looking for a relationship.

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    Bunnybomb2015 [sign in to see picture]
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    I found love finds you when you least expect it. I spent so long looking for ‘the one’ and it never happened I just went from one bad relationship to another, in the end I gave up on the idea and just focused on me and my 2 kids who I was now a single mother to.. that’s when it happened for me. He found me not the other way around. Just relax, there’s plenty of time ahead and when it’s right it’ll happen for you! Don’t try and force things through fear of being single like I did, although I wouldn’t change my kids for anything the repercussions of having them with people who didn’t respect me at all are still very serious for me. Join clubs or activities that are of an interest of you hopefully then you’ll meet people with the same interests as you, but above all, just relax. It will happen for you more than likely when you least expect it to!!

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    1993princess [sign in to see picture]
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    Have you signed up to any dating sites or apps? There are some idiots on there but you may find your needle in a haystack

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    FuzzyLover [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm feeling the exact same way. I'm currently 26 and still a virgin. Ive kind of had a late start in life with having depression from an early age through my teens. So when most people had bf/gf at them ages, I was just getting by.

    I don't think social media etc helps either. Seeing most of the people I knew from school being married and having kids doesn't help. At the same time though I'm really looking forward to the journey ahead.

    As I was raised by my mum and now looking after her. A very old school person but over the past few years I've really found myself and I'm learning what my turn one are and new experiences by myself. I'm pretty new on these forums and it took a lot of confidence to join but its a lovely step up and hopefully luck comes my way in the future.

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    FuzzyLover wrote:

    I'm feeling the exact same way. I'm currently 26 and still a virgin. Ive kind of had a late start in life with having depression from an early age through my teens. So when most people had bf/gf at them ages, I was just getting by.

    I don't think social media etc helps either. Seeing most of the people I knew from school being married and having kids doesn't help. At the same time though I'm really looking forward to the journey ahead.

    As I was raised by my mum and now looking after her. A very old school person but over the past few years I've really found myself and I'm learning what my turn one are and new experiences by myself. I'm pretty new on these forums and it took a lot of confidence to join but its a lovely step up and hopefully luck comes my way in the future.

    Youir still very young and have plenty of time to find that special person.

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    NomadNG [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm 42, and painfully shy when it comes to trying to ask people out. I've tried getting dates when I was in my early to mid 20's, but kept getting turned down, so I tried changing my career - but I was unsuccessful in that too, so I sort of withdrew into my self. I opened up to someone, but she shut me out and I went into a depressive state and decided to stay single - but I find that I'll open up to a special girl. :-(

    1533247273

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    NomadNG wrote:

    I'm 42, and painfully shy when it comes to trying to ask people out. I've tried getting dates when I was in my early to mid 20's, but kept getting turned down, so I tried changing my career - but I was unsuccessful in that too, so I sort of withdrew into my self. I opened up to someone, but she shut me out and I went into a depressive state and decided to stay single - but I find that I'll open up to a special girl. :-(

    we all get not backs and rejections. You just got to brush yourself down and try again. 

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    SlimeCoveredCow [sign in to see picture]
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    Honestly it's better not being in a relationship, than forcing one that isn't working.

    Just take your time, test the water and see how it goes but do not compromise your happiness or well-being.

    Relationships are a two way thing, you are a team. If you enter a relationship and one side clearly isn't doing much, it's not going to go well.

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    SlimeCoveredCow [sign in to see picture]
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    Managed to double-post. Silly phone.

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