1. Sex drive advice ?

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks mystreon

    Yes our first bondage session, that both of us got a go was amazing x
    I’ve just added the swing that’s in the offer to our collection, so hopefully we can explore that more x

    My hubby has a very limited sex exerpiences, he’d only had sex twice before he met me.
    And maybe my attitude towards sex was just a chore.

    Now I’ve a new found confidence and sexual desires are over powering him a bit. Plus I’m also new to self loving and I struggle to orgasam when he’s watching or even if he’s asleep next to me.

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    Gran [sign in to see picture]
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    I so feel for you. Bad sex experiences and a mum who made you feel dirty take a lot of getting over.

    I've just rediscovered my sex drive, at 67, after years of not being interested at all. Now, I'm like you, I just can't get enough! And I'm living it! I just want to reassure you that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you at all. It's natural, it's beautiful, it's a really special part of being human.

    I think the idea of a phone app controlled stimulator might be a way to play with toys while your hubby is at work, and he'll be in full control of stimulating you , both inside and around your clitoris. It might help him feel more a part of your play.

    And I'd agree that you can also be a bit discrete, and play alone.

    I see the sex drive as a big part of our life force - you might want to try some Tantra classes, alone or together, and learn how to channel your etc drive into your life, without needing to gratify it all the time.

    That said - I'm popping up to the bedroom at every opportunity at the moment, which I can do as I work from home, and being aroused is making my days so so much fun, and nipping off for sneaky orgasms is wonderful.

    Again - there's nothing wrong with you. You're absolutely awesome!! Bring on women having eye watering and frequent orgasms!!

    Big hugs to you

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    Aw thank you gran x
    We’ve been thro a lot together, I’m learning to trust him, I was raped as a teenager, and my parents never spoke about sex, so my sexual experience scared me to death. Our sex life for the past 15 years, has been darkness, me with my nightdress on, under the covers, he would play with my boobs, then do his business and then go to sleep. We would never speak about sex, it was just my chore as a wife.
    Now I’m dealing with my past 20 years later, all these feelings, emotions are literally wild, I feel like a constant sex pest .

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    Fun&Funky [sign in to see picture]
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    Huge hugs justthetwoofus. I did think that was what I’d read between the lines. I was abused for 4 years by a neighbor. It was horrendous. When I finally plucked up the courage to go out with my friends one night some 7 years after reporting it and it ending, I got delegates from friends and was attacked so for my like you it was always very vanilla... started to improve and then took a nose dive after kids. And just been as I used to saw martial duties or marital unpleastness as one person once referred it too. You know what happened next and now we’re trying our best to move forward and explore everything.

    I feel so proud of you for what you have achieved in such a short time. Well done hun as Gran says you really are awesome.

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    Aw F&F Your so brave to come thro all of that and to get where you are now is amazing x
    One strong lady x
    I feel like I’ve missed out on so much these past 20 years. My mum made me believe I deserved it and it was my fault, I never had the help or support of anyone. My parents moved me from my very catholic school away from friends and I didn’t see any of my family either as to her I was dirty and bought shame to our family. It’s only this past few months I’ve realised that it wasn’t my fault, and for the first time in 20 years I can cry and let it all out.
    So for me it’s like I have all of this to catch up on. I didn’t know what sex or masterbation actual felt like .

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    Fun&Funky [sign in to see picture]
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    Yep sounds a little like me, there was no talk of sex growing up, my dad died when I was 9 weeks so not like I even heard them if that makes sense.

    Then when I got with H she would constantly ring at like 10/11pm and want to be on the phone for hours so he would obviously be asleep when I got to bed. He always said to wake him but I felt terrible cause he sets off for work mega earlier and also I really couldn’t be bothered.

    I stopped speaking to my Mum just over 12 months ago. We caneto blows on holiday, she told me the abuse was my fault. (She never knew about the attack as we weren’t speaking then either) like you I deserved it etc. we don’t know where it came from but when I did end up touching myself when I’m with H I’d end up in almost tears afterwards saying I’m disgusting / dirty etc it’s wrong etc he’s like why were married we love each other thee us nothing wrong with enjoying your body .... part of my would like regretional hypnotherapy to see if I can see where it came from but I don’t know. It’s probably from the crap the abuser used to say.

    Oh well hun it’s never to late as they say let’s keep trying to look inward and upwards!

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    F&F your mum sounds so much like mine.
    I’ve been having councilling for the past 3 months, things are still very raw, but I’m angry mostly that I have felt guilty for this long and she’s blamed me all this time.
    In all this, I just don’t know what’s normal and what’s not. I get self loving is normal, but because of my past I can’t fully enjoy it. I struggle to orgasam if my hubby is even in the room.

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    Lozz [sign in to see picture]
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    It's all about communication really and ensuring you both make yourself heard and bring your thoughts and feelings to the table. Be open and honest and you can't go wrong! It can often be challenging and embarassing to discuss sexual issues even with a long standing partner because society perceives sex to be a bit 'naughty'. Just always be open and honest

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    Gran [sign in to see picture]
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    Good morning Justthe2ofus and F&F - I just want to say again - there is nothing wrong with you. It was NOT your fault, and you are awesome, brave, amazing women for beginning to talk about the abuse you suffered. It takes time, and talking, exploration, courage, hope, perseverance and tenderness. It takes communication and trust. All these amazing qualities will enrich you beyond words, in all aspects of your life, not just sexually. But again, sex is such a deep part of being human, there is so much emotion, self identity and trust involved in our sexuality, and to have that violated is an attack on the fundamentals of our being. As women, to let another deep inside us is an act of the greatest trust.

    Our bodies are a gift. Self loving is as natural and beautiful as a cat stretching and purring.

    Thank you for this thread. It feels a real privilege to be part of the conversation, and to bear witness to your courage and self discovery. Bless you. Xx

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    Gran [sign in to see picture]
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    F&F - I want to encourage you to try some regression. I think it could really help you.
    Or you might like to try some EMDR, which can help take the emotional sting out of your memories - line you'll still have the memories, but you can unhook from all the emotion that goes with them, thereby freeing yourself from the behaviours that have grown up around the original incidents.

    I feel so angry that girls get abused, that women are made to feel dirty and wrong for having sexual needs and desires. And called names for having pleasure and enjoying sex. It's so very wrong! And it's an act of revolution to find our sexual freedom, and to have full guilt free pleasure in our awesome bodies.

    As far as we know, the clitoris (which btw is about 9 centimetres lung, and wraps around the vagina deep inside us, not just the scrumptious button on the outside) has no purpose but to give us pleasure. Now if that isn't a reason to make the most of it and revel in our sexuality, what is!?!

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    Oldman [sign in to see picture]
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    I feel for you , I am the higher sex driven one in our house . Due to a number of health issues my wife has near zero sex drive . Myself on the other hand would let everything else go to hell in a hand basket while sex took up much of the day . I am about 99% DIY in the sex department . Toys and porn along with a quite good imagination . During the summer I am horny 24/7 . Getting taned and getting in shape and lounging around the house naked or wearing a thong , G-string or cock sock push my horny level through the roof . Winter sees a fair reduction though . Many years ago as her sex drive dropped off , I would hear complaints about my preformance . I would ask her how she thought an athlete that did not train every day for the Olympics would preform ? Practice makes perfect ! For me , if I stay busy on projects I can keep it at bay . As summer fades , it will be easier to lower my horny factor . Wearing more clothes stiffles my drive . Good luck .

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    Intrigued Couple [sign in to see picture]
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    Oldman wrote:

    I feel for you , I am the higher sex driven one in our house . Due to a number of health issues my wife has near zero sex drive . Myself on the other hand would let everything else go to hell in a hand basket while sex took up much of the day . I am about 99% DIY in the sex department . Toys and porn along with a quite good imagination . During the summer I am horny 24/7 . Getting taned and getting in shape and lounging around the house naked or wearing a thong , G-string or cock sock push my horny level through the roof . Winter sees a fair reduction though . Many years ago as her sex drive dropped off , I would hear complaints about my preformance . I would ask her how she thought an athlete that did not train every day for the Olympics would preform ? Practice makes perfect ! For me , if I stay busy on projects I can keep it at bay . As summer fades , it will be easier to lower my horny factor . Wearing more clothes stiffles my drive . Good luck .

    Can totally relate to this. We are at each others throats lately as the OH sex drive has just nose dived and she just seems interested in sitting reading books on her phone and has no time for me at all. She is not a talker so trying to discuss whats wrong just ends up with us shouting at each other. Just so frustrated and down about it.

    Justthe2ofus2007 there is certainly nothing wrong with you at all and enjoy the feelings whilst you have them and i hope your husband keeps up and appreciates what a lucky man he is x

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