£4.99 Sunday delivery! Hurry ends in ...
  1. Let’s talk Sexting

    1523564920
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3095
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2016

    I’m intrigued about sexting and thinking of giving it a try, now before I go further I want to point out that Im not going to act like some scary lurker, there are some posts on the forums about sexting but they are really old or don’t voice the aspects I’m curious about. If you can share any advice or experiences I’d be really grateful, thanks! I’m wondering about things like

    1) How fulfilling is it, what are the risks and the rewards?

    2) Do you use remote toys to make it more fun?

    3) Do you sext with strangers or a regular partner? Do you sextswing with multiple people in the same chat forum?

    4) Do you add photos and sounds to make it more exciting?

    5) Do you use the phone or Skype to hear each other’s voices to make the fantasy more real before you sext.

    6) Have you ever worn an item of clothing and given it to your sexting partner so that they can smell you?

    6) What ground rules do you have?

    7) Does it improve your sex life?

    8) Is it a harmless bit of sexy flirting or is it more serious than that for you?

    9) Do you have any tips for a budding sexter?

    I’m looking forward to your answers guys, thanks for your support in this X

    1523588285
    KinkyMinxMoo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6005
    • Joined: 20 Nov 2013

    Hey Mr Pheebs! Let’s see, I can’t promise to be helpful but I’ll try. Also I am a little tired but wanted to respond so I hope it makes sense and I will check back to make sure haha.

    Do you mean sexting your lovely wife? Apologies if I misunderstand but you didn’t say (or I didn’t read!).

    1) I find it pretty fulfilling as well as frustrating. It is mental stimulation which is the best to me. What do you mean by risks? I’ll answer it as I understand.
    Risks, it depends who you are talking to, if you can trust them and that it is consensual. You could get caught sexting which may lead to some embarrassing moments. Also how horny you get as to if you can wait, you risk ruining later if you can’t wait ha. Rewards, it can be highly sensual, stimulating, building up anticipation. It can be what you want it to be and you can do it from anywhere.

    2) I have never done this but it does make for an interesting concept; how close would you need to be for that though?

    3) I enjoy sexting strangers and partners if I have one (not both at the same time as most class this as cheating, if not pre arranged of course). There comes a risk with strangers as it depends what each party wants from it. I have never sexted in a multi chat room so can’t offer anything there.

    4) I have sent photos, never videos or sounds. Sending and receiving pictures can be extremely fun although going back to the risks and who you are talking to, you can not unsend anything nor can you control what they do with it or who they show it to and that can lead to regret; I know this only too well from personal experience.

    5) I have had phone and cam sex with partners, phone sex with a stranger although never as a “before” sexting, that kind of is the sex haha.

    6) I have never done that but not because I wouldn’t, that actually sounds like a fun idea. I have worn what I have been told to wear which isn’t quite what you asked but is another fun aspect.

    Argh, two 6’s!!! 😝

    6 i) It really is individual to the circumstance in my opinion. So some might say no sexting other people when in a relationship while others are ok with that. Don’t share my pictures, but there is no guarantee, only word and trust which can be broken. An agreement on if it is only mental / visual or physical.

    7) it can do, again it depends on the circumstance. It can be exciting, extended foreplay but if you or your partner class it as cheating then I doubt that it will improve your sex life.

    8) The circumstance thing again, I am so sorry for saying those words so much but they are very important! For me, if I am in a relationship, sexting with someone else is a no, I would class it as cheating if a partner did it to me so I would not do it either. Of course if it is talked about and agreed then go for it but that is not for me. If the parties are single then it is very much a flirt to me, I won’t say harmless because of my thing about pictures and trust as well as knowing the person.

    9) Consent, clear communication (guidelines), circumstance and trust are all big in sexting, to me; so long as all of that is covered, it is an exciting and fun thing to do. I enjoy doing it and would recommend giving it a go!

    I hope to have helped at least a little, as I said there may be things that don’t make much sense but I will check back on that when I have had some sleep x

    1523588334
    KinkyMinxMoo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6005
    • Joined: 20 Nov 2013

    Phew! So glad that I copied that otherwise I would have lost it all.

    1523594540
    KERMIT [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 174
    • Joined: 6 Jan 2010

    KinkyMinxMoo wrote:

    Phew! So glad that I copied that otherwise I would have lost it all.

    So am I glad you copied it, interesting read 😎

    1523601111
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3095
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2016

    KinkyMinxMoo wrote:

    Hey Mr Pheebs! Let’s see, I can’t promise to be helpful but I’ll try. Also I am a little tired but wanted to respond so I hope it makes sense and I will check back to make sure haha.

    Do you mean sexting your lovely wife? Apologies if I misunderstand but you didn’t say (or I didn’t read!). Hi Kink, I wasn’t specific because I wanted to open this out to everyone for more responses, but you create an interesting question, would you do it differently for a person you are in a relationship with? Never thought of that!

    1) I find it pretty fulfilling as well as frustrating. It is mental stimulation which is the best to me. What do you mean by risks? I’ll answer it as I understand.
    Risks, it depends who you are talking to, if you can trust them and that it is consensual. You could get caught sexting which may lead to some embarrassing moments. Also how horny you get as to if you can wait, you risk ruining later if you can’t wait ha. Rewards, it can be highly sensual, stimulating, building up anticipation. It can be what you want it to be and you can do it from anywhere. I was thinking about mis communications, just because you’re cutting Von verbal out so it can make people misunderstand each other.

    2) I have never done this but it does make for an interesting concept; how close would you need to be for that though? We have a few remote Bluetooth toys like We Vibes and Lovsense, as long as you have wireless you can control them from the other side of the world!

    3) I enjoy sexting strangers and partners if I have one (not both at the same time as most class this as cheating, if not pre arranged of course). There comes a risk with strangers as it depends what each party wants from it. I have never sexted in a multi chat room so can’t offer anything there.

    4) I have sent photos, never videos or sounds. Sending and receiving pictures can be extremely fun although going back to the risks and who you are talking to, you can not unsend anything nor can you control what they do with it or who they show it to and that can lead to regret; I know this only too well from personal experience. Aww Kink, people can be such idiots can’t they?

    5) I have had phone and cam sex with partners, phone sex with a stranger although never as a “before” sexting, that kind of is the sex haha. Yeah Kink, I was thinking in terms of getting all of the right sensory bits in place before starting the sexting. Sight, smell, sound etc..

    6) I have never done that but not because I wouldn’t, that actually sounds like a fun idea. I have worn what I have been told to wear which isn’t quite what you asked but is another fun aspect.

    Argh, two 6’s!!! 😝 Yeah sorry, was tired too..

    6 i) It really is individual to the circumstance in my opinion. So some might say no sexting other people when in a relationship while others are ok with that. Don’t share my pictures, but there is no guarantee, only word and trust which can be broken. An agreement on if it is only mental / visual or physical.

    7) it can do, again it depends on the circumstance. It can be exciting, extended foreplay but if you or your partner class it as cheating then I doubt that it will improve your sex life.

    8) The circumstance thing again, I am so sorry for saying those words so much but they are very important! For me, if I am in a relationship, sexting with someone else is a no, I would class it as cheating if a partner did it to me so I would not do it either. Of course if it is talked about and agreed then go for it but that is not for me. If the parties are single then it is very much a flirt to me, I won’t say harmless because of my thing about pictures and trust as well as knowing the person.

    9) Consent, clear communication (guidelines), circumstance and trust are all big in sexting, to me; so long as all of that is covered, it is an exciting and fun thing to do. I enjoy doing it and would recommend giving it a go! You’ve made it sound like life ads of fun, now I just st need to figure out how to pitch it!

    I hope to have helped at least a little, as I said there may be things that don’t make much sense but I will check back on that when I have had some sleep x

    Hi Kink you’re a star! Once again your insight is amazing, thanks for sharing this X. I’m going away next weekend on my own to a family gathering and staying in a hotel, we can’t all go because of work, dogs etc....and I’m going to take my new Lovense Max with me for night time and have loaded the sharing apps onto our phones. I’m quite excited! I want to try this then but need to talk about it first in case I need to prep before going!

    1523640553
    KinkyMinxMoo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6005
    • Joined: 20 Nov 2013

    So I am back and it seems to make sense, huzzah!

    Good point on opening it up for all, I do think that it is different between a partner and a stranger.

    Ahh yes, the good ole mis-communication, this can happen but I think that it is low risk :)

    :O Not sure how or why I didn't know about these toys; I knew about apps and the like but thought that it still had a radius; this would certainly add a whole new dimension! I must add this thought here though; you know how changing the rhythm can "ruin" things, that is very much a thing for me so while I have remote control toys, I have the remote because I know what I like and I can feel it where as if someone else had the remote and was just flicking through settings, I don't think that that would work for me; of course I haven't tried and I am unsure if that is just me but may be something to consider.

    Idiots indeed but I sent them so it is self blame here. If you can trust them then pictures are a sure thing!

    Sensory bits, never done it myself but I can see why some might; I think that it is more intimate and more investing if you do.

    Ha no need to apologise, it was funny.

    Thank you Kermit and Mr Pheebs, I am happy that I could add something.

    I think that you will have a pretty good time, you'll have to let us know how it went.

    1523642273
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3095
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2016

    Will do, does annoy one else have any gems of advice or experience to add?

    1523654191
    sexkitt3n [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 118
    • Joined: 23 Sep 2015

    what is this lovesense max u speak of? I am intrigued xx

    1523655855
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3095
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2016

    There’s a lovense max Male toy, it is a sleeve but it also has a vibration unit and if you take the sleeve out you can see 6 inflating bladders along the 2 sides. When you use the toy it vibrates and squeezes the penis so it feels a bit like a climaxing vagina. It’s bluetooth which means you connect it to your phone to use it and change the sensations.

    Where it gets really cool is when your partner is literally in the other side of the world with the app on their phone and a wireless connection. You can give them permission to control the toy.

    The female equivalent is the Nora, it’s a rabbit with a rotating vaginal shaft and vibrating clitoral finger for rubbin the nubbin. You can permit your partner to use this on you too so you can have long distance sex.

    Another company that make great Bluetooth toys is We Vibe, they’re toys for ladies are amazing and the app is brilliant but they have almost completely overlooked the need for a remote Male sleeve. Men only get a cock ring which is in all fairness not compatible or prostate massagers.

    As you can imagine, these toys would be awesome for sexting and use of them would look incredible in a photo.

    1523712573
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3095
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2016

    I’m quite surprised no one else sexts?

    1523867769
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2690
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    sexkitt3n wrote:

    what is this lovesense max u speak of? I am intrigued xx

    It is right here:

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=39155 wink

    1523868930
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6991
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Mr Pheebs wrote:

    I’m quite surprised no one else sexts?

    We do! I’ll get back to you with our answers in a little bit.

    1523871885
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6991
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    1) How fulfilling is it, what are the risks and the rewards?

    As we are long distance, it’s a huge part of our relationship. It allows us to be part of each other’s orgasms even whilst apart. One risk that comes to mind is accidentally sending to the wrong person. We use a separate app to sext through so that this doesn’t happen after he almost sent a sext to his best friend.

    2) Do you use remote toys to make it more fun?

    We do although we are still searching for something he can use that I can control. New toys in this category are released all the time so that stops toy use from becoming repetitive or boring.

    3) Do you sext with strangers or a regular partner? Do you sextswing with multiple people in the same chat forum?

    Regular partner.

    4) Do you add photos and sounds to make it more exciting?

    Yes sometimes, nothing too explicit though as the tease is better for us.

    5) Do you use the phone or Skype to hear each other’s voices to make the fantasy more real before you sext?

    No but we have audio called during to get the others true reactions.

    6) Have you ever worn an item of clothing and given it to your sexting partner so that they can smell you?

    Probably. He definitely has for me.

    6) What ground rules do you have?

    No full nudes, no identifying pictures, we have a safe word that differs from the one we use in the bedroom and also a word that we use if we stop feeling it and want to stop the conversation.

    7) Does it improve your sex life?

    Definitely! I’m not sure we would be so in sync with each other without it. I think it’s easier for people to type their fantasies sometimes and that means the communication in our relationship is constantly open and this gives us more insight as to what the other is into and what they’re not.

    8) Is it a harmless bit of sexy flirting or is it more serious than that for you?

    It’s a way to keep the intimacy going whilst apart for us but with previous partners it has just been harmless fun.

    9) Do you have any tips for a budding sexter?

    Have fun and don’t take it too seriously!

    1523873874
    ophelia-rose [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 247
    • Joined: 1 Aug 2013

    Hi Mr Pheebs, I have sexted before with a previous partner and definitely found it was fulfilling and improved my sex life.

    Mental arousal is the most important kind for me and I can definitely get that just from sexting! Generally didn't use any toys or videos, what we usually did was roleplay having an encounter with each other. Found it very arousing and exciting, and it often brought out fun new ideas for us to try in person! Was a great low-stakes way to explore trying new things with each other and see how the other person felt about it.

    I'm very cautious about my privacy so I think personally I would only do this with a partner who I really trust to keep it to themselves. I also tend not to do many photos either for this reason too, although I have occasionally, I usually asked my partner to delete them after enjoying them in the moment. Privacy is the main risk with sexting I think, I suppose the only other one is if you put out something that you think sounds sexy and it falls flat/doesn't seem to excite your partner very much then that can feel a bit embarrassing or disappointing! For me it was 95% good though so worth that little 5% of awkwardness.

    My main ground rule, as with any sexual activity, is that you can say no thanks or stop at any time! Sometimes you or your partner might try to start something and it may just not be a good time; the other person should respond gracefully saying it's no problem and not make a big deal of it! I also found it easier to express if I wasn't comfortable with a certain sexy thing over sexts than in real life sometimes, so that was very helpful too!

    I always found it very arousing and fulfilling, like a cross between flirting and actually having sex, and helped me feel more connected to my partner, who I didn't see all that often.

    In terms of tips, I would say it may feel awkward and embarrassing at first. Like navigating a first crush, if it's totally new then it can feel quite vulnerable, but once you move past that it can take you to some fun new places! Don't be afraid to say how you really feel about it; if someyhing's turning you on then that's exciting for your partner to know, and if you don't particularly like something then no harm no foul and it's useful information for moving forwards.

    Well I think that was quite long enough, woops! Hope it's helpful 😊

    1523883226
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3095
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2016

    Thanks guys, amazing input. It sounds like loads of fun and I agree it’s about putting trust in the right person and laying the ground rules before you start.

    Also agree that remote toys for fellas are a bit scarce and not very good at the moment ( Had to send the Max back it almost exploded! ). Isn’t  it such a shame that we’re so scared of sending pictures though?

    1523885367
    NovacaineDoll [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 43
    • Joined: 1 Sep 2012

    Hiii! Thought I'd weigh in as a sexting fan.

    1) It can be very fullfilling! Sexting can help you feel close to your partner whilst they are away or even just at work or in another room. It can build suspense before you see them, or keep them from missing you too much. It's an excellent tool for teasing! For a lot of women, words can really do it for them as well- I know plenty of girls that prefer erotica to video porn. For me, reading about what someone is doing or would like to do is a huge turn on. When you and your partner are turned on enough the filters can come down and it can be like peeking inside your partner's head to their innermost desires. It's a good way to find these out by asking sexy questions like "what do you want me to do to you when I get home?" or "tell me something you think about but we've never done..."

    Risks... Well, it depends on your partner and the trust you two have. I'm currently with a partner who I know would never share my pictures and messages. I would not sext with strangers or casual aquainences though.

    2) I don't own a remote toy like this but I definitely would!

    3) I only sext with my partner.

    4) I have definitely added photos, sounds, short video clips. Snapchat is a useful app for this as the videos/pics/text disappears after they view it so it's like an added element of tease- they person needs to watch closely as they only get to enjoy it once! But I think that some might worry about the privacy issues of using an app to send this content- depends how concerned you are about that.

    5) I don't think it's that necessary to use the phone as part of sexting. Phone sex is also good and the two can be used together but sexting is great just as a stand-alone thing.

    6) Not really- my partner's smell is all over everything here anyway!

    6) We don't really have ground rules for sexting, except I tell her not to send me stuff when I'm working due to the nature of where I work and the high chance I will be caught, or distracted from keeping others safe. Otherwise, anything goes. If either of us isn't feeling it, we'll just stop.

    7) I'd say it can add to sex life at times. Like building the excitement before they see you can lead to exciting sex. I generally use it when I'm not going to be seeing her for a few days though, to feel like we can still get that connection.

    8) We are monogomous and I wouldn't like it if she were sexting someone else. If we talked about it first and she was interested in sexy chat with someone else, I might be open to that if I had access to the chat and could enjoy it too- but everything would need to be talked over and agreed first.

    9) YES. Everyone is different in their tastes, just like sex. There are lots of different sexting styles and some may like things that others don't so you should consider:

    -Does this person like having things other than text (pics, vids, audio) sent to them? If they aren't sending things back in the same media, consider that this might not be their style.

    -Some people like really blunt sexting, like "I wanna **** you in the ***" for example! Some like a more romantic approach and might prefer "I want to run my hands down the curves of your body until I find your hidden treasure"... something subtle. Notice their reactions and adapt!

    -Some people just talk about something they have done/would like to do... and some take more of a role play approach, texting what they actually imagine they are doing (I walk into the room and catch you doing XYZ)

    -Be as original as you can and avoid cliches as they can kill the mood a bit! Keep it surprising and interesting.

    Good luck!

    1523912818
    ophelia-rose [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 247
    • Joined: 1 Aug 2013

    I agree about the pictures thing Mr Pheebs, I would probably send them with abandon if society wasn't so weird about it. It's not nice to have to be so careful about what you put out there even when it's harmless.

    1523917397
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3095
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2016

    Some great feedback here guys, Novacaine doll, seriously, look at the We Vibe range, ladies toys are great, we have several and Mrs P is picky but she loves these. It’s just the blokes toys that are a bit shit, such a shame really but you 2 would be quids in X

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.