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  1. Wife thinks I’m weird to liking anal

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    Zg [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi I have been enjoying anal play for many years I accept that my wife doesn’t enjoys such play but yesterday we were talking and she said that I was weird for likeing that I am not sure how to take this any advise would be great

    Thanks

    1521398139
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Talk to her, find out just what she was saying. Sometimes you can say to someone "that's weird" but not mean anything much by it. Like if someone said to me "I seriously can't live without marmite" I would be, like "that's weird". All I would mean is that there is no way on earth I would ever think such a thing, as marmite is bloody awful; but that wouldn't mean I thought they were perverted or something, each to there own.

    She could simply be reafirming in no uncertain terms, that there's no way in hell she would ever want to go there herself, or want anyone trying to convince her otherwise.

    Talk to her and tell her you get that she will never want that for her self, but that you would like her to consider thinking about the posibility that she be involved in some way with your love of anal play. Or at least acknowledge, that she accepts without judgement that this as something you like to do.

    If ever you are unsure of something a partner says, you should always calmly seek, some kind of explaination of the exact meaning of their words. As sometiimes we do say things to obliquely put other people firmly in the picture of how we view something for ourselves. It doesn't have to mean judgmental condemnation,, of the validity of the others views likes and such.

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    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey I wouldnt worry, just about everyone is weird for one thing or another. Men enjoying anal certainly isnt normal as in something the majority of men do, but it feels pretty great so I say who cares what they think. Hopefully she didnt mean anything more by it.

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    illtakethehighroad [sign in to see picture]
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    You are not at all weird. I had a similar conversation with my OH when i admitted i might like it. But lets be honest i dont know what your OHs attitude to sex is in general but anal in any form was taboo amoungst politie society until recently and attitudes are only slowly changing now . If i said in a general pub conversation whats your opinion on anal play i am sure there would be raised eyebrows still. Lets be honest by the number of products on here plenty of people enjoy it!

    I am no spring chicken and when i was youinger the general gossip was that only gay men went near bums and my OH believed the same. Thanksfully many of these cliches are dying. Ask her does she believe in any of those old myths. Give her some clear websites that clearly explain your interest is totally rational. Tracy Coxs website has plenty of advice explainign the never endings around your bum!!

    I think many people would never go there thinking it is "dirty" mayve your OH is the same!

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    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    illtakethehighroad wrote:

    You are not at all weird. I had a similar conversation with my OH when i admitted i might like it. But lets be honest i dont know what your OHs attitude to sex is in general but anal in any form was taboo amoungst politie society until recently and attitudes are only slowly changing now . If i said in a general pub conversation whats your opinion on anal play i am sure there would be raised eyebrows still. Lets be honest by the number of products on here plenty of people enjoy it!

    I am no spring chicken and when i was youinger the general gossip was that only gay men went near bums and my OH believed the same. Thanksfully many of these cliches are dying. Ask her does she believe in any of those old myths. Give her some clear websites that clearly explain your interest is totally rational. Tracy Coxs website has plenty of advice explainign the never endings around your bum!!

    I think many people would never go there thinking it is "dirty" mayve your OH is the same!

    Very well put, sums up what I was about to type myself.

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    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Everyone has their own acquired taste in every lease of life, wether you like a bit of butt play or role play or whatever tickles your fancy it’s absolutely fine and no one has the right to make you feel differently. It’s great that you can be open and honest about it and hopefully she will understand that everyone is different.

    Some people find stuff “weird” when they just don’t understand it and that’s fine too, but as long as no ones getting hurt and if she’s not into it then I guess you will just need to ride out the butt adventure solo, just don’t get caught up on people’s words, my partner thought gag balls and floggers were weird until I gave her a full session and she’s a total convert so carry on your thing and enjoy it.

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    Saphira [sign in to see picture]
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    Everyone likes their own things. There are things I would consider "weird" but in the same was mentioned above. As in, I don't like/get that but you be you, even if that's a bit odd to me...... for example those probe things that electrocute your willies. To me that's "weird" and I'd say so, if the OH said he wanted that, but still I'd be happy to purchase one and bring it into our sex life for the pleasure it would give him, even if it seems a bit odd to me.

    Perhaps this is simply how she meant it. Seems odd to her, but you be you. Best course it to ask her exactly what she means by it.

    Just bear in mind some people have a hang up over poop. Like poop is a risk factor in anal play, she might not want to put her fingers there, but maybe with a condom on her or with a toy she might be willing.

    I know if I have longer acrylic nails on I'm not over keen on anal play with hands, but toys won't bother me.

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    Starscream86 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think talking is definitely the way forward, and it’s about finding a decent compromise.

    I enjoy wearing tights and heels, and I hid it for the longest time. I was terrified that my gf would freak out. Turns out she did find out, and wasn’t angry about me doing it, rather she thought she wasn’t enough to please me.

    Long story short, she still thinks it’s weird as she doesn’t comprehend why I like it, but she accepts it and just lets me get on with it. But it took a lot of talking through at the time.

    So to echo what others have said, it’s not a bad thing that she thinks it’s weird as long as she is accepting you for who you are

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