1. Bondage resistance

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    Dave the Ram [sign in to see picture]
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    I've been with my wife 30 years now,and like a lot of bigger ladies she has sometimes lacked confidence in the bedroom despite me assuring that I find her sexy and desirable.She is much better these days,I think that comes with age,and we have great sex(she's 49,I'm 54).Over the years I have tried to get her to try some mild bondage,nothing heavy,but she is reluctant to feel out of control.I have always promised that I would never hurt her in any way,it's a year since we had a last go and would love do it again .Have any other ladies felt this way and been able to get to the point where they now enjoy it?

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    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey Dave - welcome to the forum!

    I'm a big girl and I think that's the main reason I was reluctant to be tied up... being helpless and unable to move puts too much of me on display, I like to be able to cover myself up as much as possible! I know that is kind of silly, but I'm being honest, being on the larger side makes me very self-conscious during sex... especially as my partner is a skinny minnie whom I know prefers slimmer girls.

    We've been together 18 years, I'm 52, he's 48, I'd say I have a much higher sex drive to him. Years ago I was really slim, and I know I turned him on....he's a very visual kind of person, see...now I know he really doesn't like how I look.... ill health and meds have made me put on lots of weight - about 6 stone which I'm desperately trying to loose! I do like the thought of being tied up and helpless, and often fantasize about it, but the thought of him looking at me laying there like a beached whale turns me off. I tried getting sexy undies that covered me - stuff like corsets and basques, but he isn't into sexy undies at all - and TBH, he barely looked at me in my red basque and stockings- just a quick glance and an 'ok yeah...now hurry up and finish getting ready to go out'... I have to add, I was feeling really good for a change, confident and sexy, but his reaction left me cold so I've not bothered again with that stuff - I just cover as much of me as i can with the sheet or duvet!

    Dunno if this is your wife's problem - you say you like larger ladies, but maybe she doesn't believe you? xx

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    kelly_michelle [sign in to see picture]
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    It might be worth speaking with her about it further, but from what you have said, I don’t think her size is her problem.

    You say she doesn’t like feeling out of control. This is a central part of what Bondage is. Yes it is about restriction of movement, but it is coupled with the vulnerability of not being able to do anything about the restriction and the potential consequences.

    If this is something you would both like to do, maybe look at leaving her hands free? You could instruct her that she should leave her hands where you place them and, if she does, she will be rewarded.

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    JoJoXxX [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 2 Nov 2011

    Hey Dave

    I was reluctant however now I'm 100% converted. I like to be in control in my normal day to day life and find it very hard to allow others to take control of anything. I'm also a curvy woman at size 18.
    I now love most things bondage and desperate to explore more with my partner. I would suggest holding her wrists during sex. Then start to trap her legs between yours whilst playing with her. If she enjoys the feeling of being restricted she may be more inclined to let you use cuffs ect. I find that the more turned on I am the more I want my partner to get ruffer.
    Take small steps, let her see how it feels. Use one restraint at a time until she gets used to it.
    I also find the sexyer I feel the more adventurous it makes me, try treating her to something sexy that she feels good in. I feel the same as lady spider being bigger and feeling that your on display too much and can't do anything about it is a negative.
    Bottom line , small steps. Hope it goes well.

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    Guy14357 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
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    • Joined: 26 Jan 2018

    I find the best way is to massage her with a blind fold on. It makes her more sensitive try that. But use a silk blindfold nothing heavy and step it up slowly don’t push too hard.

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