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  1. Virginity and age

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    I thank all of you for the replies as it's a tricky topic.

    Not a lot get's past me as the type of books I read are on smart thinking and that includes things like confindence, social, social media and other subjecs alike. But this is something which was tricky to find answers for and you guys and girls answered it perfectly.

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    Also just to add some info into this ...

    I have red hair which people will go yeah he's a virgin but I think that's funny more than insulting and I found this website but I don't know if someone made this for a confidence booster

    https://www.sofeminine.co.uk/understanding-men/21-reasons-ginger-guys-are-gods-amongst-men-s1002420.html

    What are your thoughts on a red haired guy ? (I know the topic has changed but I'm quite intrigued)

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    Well I am hardly going to say I fancy red haired guys when I am a straight type guy sexually . Colour of hair doesnt matter IMO nor skin . I hve been out with quite a few "red haired women" . I prefer to use the word auburn instead of red. I found them to be very exciting and confident if being honest . Challenging to tame as they were "wilder" They are amongst my better former partners when it comes to having fun .

    The only disadvantage that Auburn haired people have is that you need to keep yourself covered up more when its very sunny as your skin tends to be more prone to burning.

    Again you colur of hair shouldn't be a barrier.

    I may be wrong but I am just wondering if you are not as confident as you think you are. These factors could be whats holding you back a little

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    Lovehoney - Cheekbones [sign in to see picture]
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    SingleMale101 wrote:

    Also just to add some info into this ...

    I have red hair which people will go yeah he's a virgin but I think that's funny more than insulting and I found this website but I don't know if someone made this for a confidence booster

    https://www.sofeminine.co.uk/understanding-men/21-reasons-ginger-guys-are-gods-amongst-men-s1002420.html

    What are your thoughts on a red haired guy ? (I know the topic has changed but I'm quite intrigued)

    If you ever meet someone who has this train of thought, they are not someone you should want to associate yourself with.

    We're all adults - we should be past judging someone on the colour of their hair. That's behaviour you find in high school.

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    If there is a reason that you would prefer another colour then whats stopping you using hair colouring. My Mrs has been Dark Blond, Auburn, Light Blond, Very light bonde and today has reverted back to being dark blond. The modern hair dyes are a lot better than those of yesteryear and give very natural looking results. Unless of course you want your hair silvergrey or one of those more unntaural colours like purple. I was going to dye my own year during mid part of last year. But dues to consensus of opinion on here I decided to keep it dark Silver Fox like . It wolud have made my Mrs's life easier if I had though !

    But Rebecca is right. iin what she has posted. Those are the immature people you just need to avoid.

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    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    A lot of books to become a “ladies man” are just full of horrible cliches and manipulation techniques which to me is disgusting. It also fills people with some serious wrong thoughts and treats men/women as objects.... referring to them as prey.
    The most honest and sound advice is to take it slow and realise that your status,religion. Sexual orientation etc will not be a problem to the right person. I believe everyone has a soulmate regardless, and if some silly blog tells you that mental manipulation techniques should be used or a particular style will find you love, remember Romeo didn’t need any of that to win Juliet 🙌🏻

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    Lovehoney - Rebecca wrote:

    SingleMale101 wrote:

    Also just to add some info into this ...

    I have red hair which people will go yeah he's a virgin but I think that's funny more than insulting and I found this website but I don't know if someone made this for a confidence booster

    https://www.sofeminine.co.uk/understanding-men/21-reasons-ginger-guys-are-gods-amongst-men-s1002420.html

    What are your thoughts on a red haired guy ? (I know the topic has changed but I'm quite intrigued)

    If you ever meet someone who has this train of thought, they are not someone you should want to associate yourself with.

    We're all adults - we should be past judging someone on the colour of their hair. That's behaviour you find in high school.

    Just to further add to Rebecca's point. There are plenty of immature people out there . My Mrs has been called a transvestite ,Margaret Thatcher,Ugly and Not good enough for me.

    All these comments upset my Mrs at first. But then I asked her to think why they are making these comments. Its becaue they a jealous of what she has ie me and are having to resort to these school playground tactics in the hope of driving a wedge betweeen us. So now she just rubs their faces in it by dancing dirty with me and giving me a snog in ln plain view of these types.

    These type of immature people are just better left ignored as they make these comments becasue they are failing in their own quest to find a partner so in turn they are trying to knock back your confidence as they are with my Mrs . So dont let them knock back your quest to find a partner and go for it and enjoy the experience .

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    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
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    SingleMale101 wrote:

    Ok so I have a question that I don't think is embarrasing or awkward but I'm wondering as I haven't had sex with a girl, how do I go about that ? The reason I ask this question is because I'm getting to the age now where women expect you to have had sex or they want experience, but if you haven't had sex what do you do (I don't mean physically but just losing your virginity) ?

    I'm confident and chatty so...

    Are you sure they all want experience or is that is that something you are assuming? I think having sex as a virgin with an experienced and supportive partner could be really great, sets you on the right path straight away and saves the fumbling most first timers experience.

    If you want to just screw, go to a night club and hook up. If you want a relationship then save yourself and wait for someone you want to give your virginity too, it’s a gift, people sometimes forget that.**REMOVED BY MODERATOR**

    p.s I had really ginger red hair, has gone browner now. Some Kids don’t like it but if you have glasses they won’t like that and if you have a mole or a lisp you’re fair game too. Women generally do like it, also when you get older, your hair will stick around and go white, how cool is that?

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    NibbleNob [sign in to see picture]
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    Learn to love yourself and others will too, the natural confidence this brings seems to attract ladies in particular. Put yourself first, do a bit of exercise, get in shape, enjoy life. Good luck.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    SingleMale101 wrote:

    Yeah btw I'm not horrible I'm a pretty nice guy and I would never be disrespectful to women as I would be trying to have a relationship with one.

    Women expect "nice" to come as standard, only you often have to date the guy to find out.

    You may be confident, and would never be disrespectful to a woman, but perhaps you are trying too hard to be nice, and friend zoning yourself. Yeah you will have to search your way through the bad ones, women can be arseholes, just like men. I think too many women have started to behave like men; a sort of if you can't beat them, join them attitude. But you are not facing anything women don't have to face to find the right guy.

    The confidence is great, it's a sexy atribute, but if you are giving off " I really want to be your friend" and not "I really want to be your friend, and I'm really into you". She may well take it that you are not interested in her in a romantic way; as you come over as confident, but you never make a move on her.

    Making a move on a woman doesn't make you an arsehole, it's what you are hiding about the way you view women, that makes you one of those. You see very often those types of guys have learned to say all the right things, and act the right way, to get a woman to believe she's found a good one, only to find out latter just what she's bought in to, and that all he cares about is the chase and sex.

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    ChloJakes [sign in to see picture]
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    Singlemale101, I really don't think you need to be embarrassed about losing your virginity in this day and age. Discussing sex is much a much more open conversation to have now. One of my friends did not lose hers until she was late 20's. She suffers with body confidence issues and I think this was one of her main barriers and the constant thought of "Won't guys laugh at me?". If you meet someone who is respectful and kind, they aren't going to worry whether you've 'done it'. My opinion, you might aswell wait until you find someone special rather than just doing it to get it out of the way.

    Very glad that you've opened this post for advice :)

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    No worries ChloJakes :)

    I would say I have a lot of confidence but it wasn't always there. A few years back in my old school, I was more on the keep myself to myself type of guy but with age and reading a few books on smart thinking I have learned a lot. One of the books was called Derren Brown - Happy (Highly recommend a read).

    I don't think its embarrassing or awkward but I was thinking "Is it something women will frown upon if they dated a guy who was a virgin"

    And LIL_KNOWNS69

    when I was asking if the blog was giving me confidence or not, I don't think it was about manipulation or tricking. I think what they were trying to get across is the fact that being red haired or auburn as another member suggested, is a good thing instead of bad. But the points on the blog were spot on really talking about how when you get bullied at school you tend to just accept who you are and ignore the ridicule and be yourself rather than a fake image of yourself.

    But thank you again, to all of you that replied ... this has helped a lot :)

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    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    I do hope that the OP has found help and nice advice in this thread that may help, as I sadly have to close this thread now due to rule breaking.

    REMINDER - Life at Lovehoney starts at 18 and any illegal activity under the age of consent should not be discussed. 

    Please take note of all rules: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/forum-rules/

    Thank you all. 

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