1. Virginity and age

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok so I have a question that I don't think is embarrasing or awkward but I'm wondering as I haven't had sex with a girl, how do I go about that ? The reason I ask this question is because I'm getting to the age now where women expect you to have had sex or they want experience, but if you haven't had sex what do you do (I don't mean physically but just losing your virginity) ?

    I'm confident and chatty so...

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    AmyA [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm in the same situation in that it is expected I have had a partner by this age (very much so).

    I would say you need to be honest or it could be a disaster for both of you. A loving, caring partner is not going to be put and will make allowances so you both have the best experience.

    The question I am troubled with is when is right point in a relationship to bring it up and so far I don't have an answer to that.

    Best of luck.

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    SingleMale101 wrote:

    Ok so I have a question that I don't think is embarrasing or awkward but I'm wondering as I haven't had sex with a girl, how do I go about that ? The reason I ask this question is because I'm getting to the age now where women expect you to have had sex or they want experience, but if you haven't had sex what do you do (I don't mean physically but just losing your virginity) ?

    I'm confident and chatty so...

    I don't think it is embarrasing. What you need is an understanding partner who will take it slowly with you and who is happy to take control .

    Some tips though. Seeing yor woman partner naked for the first time whilst is pleasueable can also be a little daunting making you possibly nervous . So it may be a good idea to get some slowly getting naked sessions in before you doing the deed. Some other ideas is to have some music ,a warm secure place ( no interruptions) , Mobiles switched off and some drink to calm the nerves a little . The latter though make sure your in control. Most importantly some condoms even if your OH may be on the pil etc.

    Its something that you will need to speak to your partner about so that she doesnt think that your experienced and then make a mess on the night whcxh could lead to both being dissapointed.

    The Key is to take it Slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow .

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    mysteron wrote:

    SingleMale101 wrote:

    Ok so I have a question that I don't think is embarrasing or awkward but I'm wondering as I haven't had sex with a girl, how do I go about that ? The reason I ask this question is because I'm getting to the age now where women expect you to have had sex or they want experience, but if you haven't had sex what do you do (I don't mean physically but just losing your virginity) ?

    I'm confident and chatty so...

    I don't think it is embarrasing. What you need is an understanding partner who will take it slowly with you and who is happy to take control .

    Some tips though. Seeing yor woman partner naked for the first time whilst is pleasueable can also be a little daunting making you possibly nervous . So it may be a good idea to get some slowly getting naked sessions in before you doing the deed. Some other ideas is to have some music ,a warm secure place ( no interruptions) , Mobiles switched off and some drink to calm the nerves a little . The latter though make sure your in control. Most importantly some condoms even if your OH may be on the pil etc.

    Its something that you will need to speak to your partner about so that she doesnt think that your experienced and then make a mess on the night whcxh could lead to both being dissapointed.

    The Key is to take it Slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow .

    So I don't have a partner but I wouldn't get nervous if she stripped and I did the same. It is literally the losing virginity bit which is tricky because I can wait for the right lady to turn up but then it's the age which is awkward because most women think is there something wrong with this guy or what if he is much older than 20... I'm just thinking would it work if I was to meet up with a lady on a swinging website ?

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    Just to add something I did with another partner in my younger days to get over the embarrasment problem was litterally we jumped into bed fully clothed and slowly undressed each other . What is different here is that we were both inexperienced at the time. So it was quite fun trying things out. I think it would have been easier though if one of us was experienced at teh time to guide the other person.

    I think with both of you that is what is needed here for someone with exereince who is understanding to take the lead and guide the other person.

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    SingleMale101 wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    SingleMale101 wrote:

    Ok so I have a question that I don't think is embarrasing or awkward but I'm wondering as I haven't had sex with a girl, how do I go about that ? The reason I ask this question is because I'm getting to the age now where women expect you to have had sex or they want experience, but if you haven't had sex what do you do (I don't mean physically but just losing your virginity) ?

    I'm confident and chatty so...

    I don't think it is embarrasing. What you need is an understanding partner who will take it slowly with you and who is happy to take control .

    Some tips though. Seeing yor woman partner naked for the first time whilst is pleasueable can also be a little daunting making you possibly nervous . So it may be a good idea to get some slowly getting naked sessions in before you doing the deed. Some other ideas is to have some music ,a warm secure place ( no interruptions) , Mobiles switched off and some drink to calm the nerves a little . The latter though make sure your in control. Most importantly some condoms even if your OH may be on the pil etc.

    Its something that you will need to speak to your partner about so that she doesnt think that your experienced and then make a mess on the night whcxh could lead to both being dissapointed.

    The Key is to take it Slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow .

    So I don't have a partner but I wouldn't get nervous if she stripped and I did the same. It is literally the losing virginity bit which is tricky because I can wait for the right lady to turn up but then it's the age which is awkward because most women think is there something wrong with this guy or what if he is much older than 20... I'm just thinking would it work if I was to meet up with a lady on a swinging website ?

    Thats a difficult one as most swinging clubs to my knowledge are very reluctant to allow single guys to be involved. Single ladies I believe are allowed but limited .

    IMO you would realy best in finding a partner who you are attracted to and most imporatantly have feellings for. Sex for many including myself can only involve a person I have feelings for .I know I could not perform sex to a person who I dont have feelings for as I have tried it in the past and failed miserably.

    You could try an escorting agency if you think you can perform to a lady of who you dont have any feelings for. Some people can .

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    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    It’s not embarrassing or a problem to lose your virginity at the later stages in life. The best thing is your holding onto something and you haven’t wasted it on someone. I have had a lot of sexual experience but only a tiny number compared to everyone around me, and to be honest it’s been quite an attractive thing for some people because it makes you seem quite “hard to get”. But however frustrating it may seem, don’t lose yourself in this whole ideology of having to be experienced and bed 1000s of people before your good in the bedroom. One day out of the blue someone will pop up in your life, and after a few dates and getting to know them it will all just kinda happen.

    Sex is great don’t get me wrong but sex with the wrong person or a list of people you regret is far worse than having to wait. The first thing I would do is ignore the virgin label and just live your life. Meet people similar to you with the same interests and find someone who actually matters. They won’t care how many people you have slept with and if you connect with them
    And it all feels natural then strike up a relationship and take each step as it’s comes., just remember that what happens in porn and in the movies is usually quite far from the truth and a lot cleaner!. Your first few times may be a bit hit and miss, but communicate with your partner and have fun. No one can really give you a guide on how to have sex with someone because that’s just not how the world works, but if you focus on the fact you haven’t had sex yet then you may come across to others as a tad shy. So realise it doesn’t matter and work on your confidence, when you over crowd your thoughts with negative feelings it makes everything seem far worse.

    As someone who feels sex is more than just a bit of fun, I’m quite old school and believe you should have some form of connection before a random hook up. But others may suggest otherwise, the main point is being a virgin really doesn’t matter. It isn’t embarrassing and it’s not a problem which needs solving, Iv never been rock climbing but one day I know I will... but it would be unnecessary stress to worry about it now.

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    LIL_KNOWN69 wrote:

    It’s not embarrassing or a problem to lose your virginity at the later stages in life. The best thing is your holding onto something and you haven’t wasted it on someone. I have had a lot of sexual experience but only a tiny number compared to everyone around me, and to be honest it’s been quite an attractive thing for some people because it makes you seem quite “hard to get”. But however frustrating it may seem, don’t lose yourself in this whole ideology of having to be experienced and bed 1000s of people before your good in the bedroom. One day out of the blue someone will pop up in your life, and after a few dates and getting to know them it will all just kinda happen.

    Sex is great don’t get me wrong but sex with the wrong person or a list of people you regret is far worse than having to wait. The first thing I would do is ignore the virgin label and just live your life. Meet people similar to you with the same interests and find someone who actually matters. They won’t care how many people you have slept with and if you connect with them
    And it all feels natural then strike up a relationship and take each step as it’s comes., just remember that what happens in porn and in the movies is usually quite far from the truth and a lot cleaner!. Your first few times may be a bit hit and miss, but communicate with your partner and have fun. No one can really give you a guide on how to have sex with someone because that’s just not how the world works, but if you focus on the fact you haven’t had sex yet then you may come across to others as a tad shy. So realise it doesn’t matter and work on your confidence, when you over crowd your thoughts with negative feelings it makes everything seem far worse.

    As someone who feels sex is more than just a bit of fun, I’m quite old school and believe you should have some form of connection before a random hook up. But others may suggest otherwise, the main point is being a virgin really doesn’t matter. It isn’t embarrassing and it’s not a problem which needs solving, Iv never been rock climbing but one day I know I will... but it would be unnecessary stress to worry about it now.

    I agree thats the point I wanted to get accross. Its better having sex with a person who you have feelings for . It will will feel much more natural and you will enjoy it more as she will as well.

    Its not a race so just take your time in finding that person who wants to be with you and care for you .And dont let the fact that you are a virgin prevent you from doing this .

    For some its also a honour in taking someones viginity so it shouldnt be anyway an embarrasment or an obstacle.

    I also agree about porn . Its all exagerated and none of the romance is usually shown which is another important factor.

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    Worzel and Aunt H [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with the replies so far, i would suggest the replies are to both of you, you will find the right person and when you do it won’t matter about experience, you will develop this part of the relationship together. Social events will bring people with similar interests into your friendship circles and finding someone to spend time outside the bedroom is important. With the right person, your concerns of inexperience will not be at the forefront, you will both be nervous of each other and being able to talk about concerns beforehand and the good, bad and funny things afterwards will help build your confidence.

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    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks mysteron, as you said earlier I think slow and steady wins the race. Just a shame so much stigma is found in the sexual realm and causes others to feel down about things.

    Honestly single man, enjoy your time and take it slow. Be proud that you have something special to give and find someone decent who deserves it. Whether it’s through friends, online activities or even work, I can assure you that waiting will be better and will give you a far better experience. And from my life I have found people seem to appear when your not looking! I was desperately looking for over two years aftwe my previous relationship broke down and I didn’t get even a nibble of someone’s attention until I just stopped and got my life in order. I’m now happily married after a bit of banter on twitter happened one late Tuesday night and I now look back and regret the times I would go out looking for someone and come home lonely. I should have just enjoyed my life and had fun before realising that special someone was right under my nose.

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    LIL_KNOWN69 wrote:

    Thanks mysteron, as you said earlier I think slow and steady wins the race. Just a shame so much stigma is found in the sexual realm and causes others to feel down about things.

    Honestly single man, enjoy your time and take it slow. Be proud that you have something special to give and find someone decent who deserves it. Whether it’s through friends, online activities or even work, I can assure you that waiting will be better and will give you a far better experience. And from my life I have found people seem to appear when your not looking! I was desperately looking for over two years aftwe my previous relationship broke down and I didn’t get even a nibble of someone’s attention until I just stopped and got my life in order. I’m now happily married after a bit of banter on twitter happened one late Tuesday night and I now look back and regret the times I would go out looking for someone and come home lonely. I should have just enjoyed my life and had fun before realising that special someone was right under my nose.

    I also agree. Destiny can bring you together as it did with my partner of nearly 30 years now. I think many singles try to hard when the checkout lady at the supermarket could be your next partner .From my own experience there is far too much emphasis placed on looks resulting in time wasted trying to get someone who is already married. I get this a lot from single women chasing me when they only need to check out my Ohs left hand to see that I am married. At least when it come to the crunch I do advise them that I am married , I know of other guys that don't.!

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah damn straight! Maybe that is the reason I am single is because not being horrible to any women, but where I live most of the women here are attention seeking, two faced and cause issues (not saying all of them are like it just most of them are) which is probably why I'm single. I just want to find a lady which can have a laugh but is also mature and isn't immature.

    Thank you guys and girls for the info. It has helped a lot because it is a tricky thing to talk about really.

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    I also find it funny though how I see women saying they want a man who is caring, trustworthy, isn't going to cheat and motivated and I'm standing here thinking why go with these guys that treat you like dirt. I'm single and I've ticked all the boxes above.

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    SingleMale101 wrote:

    Yeah damn straight! Maybe that is the reason I am single is because not being horrible to any women, but where I live most of the women here are attention seeking, two faced and cause issues (not saying all of them are like it just most of them are) which is probably why I'm single. I just want to find a lady which can have a laugh but is also mature and isn't immature.

    Thank you guys and girls for the info. It has helped a lot because it is a tricky thing to talk about really.

    Being horrible to some women is the wrong way of doing it. You need to keep to your gentlemanly prniciples. That will be one of your key positive. attributes .

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    SingleMale101 wrote:

    I also find it funny though how I see women saying they want a man who is caring, trustworthy, isn't going to cheat and motivated and I'm standing here thinking why go with these guys that treat you like dirt. I'm single and I've ticked all the boxes above.

    Thats because some may still go after looks alone. They will probably find out for themselver later on what a dirt bag they are ..

    Dont change

    Most women enjoy a guy who is fully respectful towards them and will feel safe that way.

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    I am just wondering the reason why you could be single is because you are possibly using your virinity as a barrier or obstacle . Dont let this hold you back . With the right partner you wil find that the virginity factor will excite her .

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah btw I'm not horrible I'm a pretty nice guy and I would never be disrespectful to women as I would be trying to have a relationship with one.

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    I could well be using it as a barrier unconsiously. So I've got to try to make it into something good.

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    Lovehoney - Cheekbones [sign in to see picture]
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    I have no advice other than what has been already said but for some women, meeting a man that is a virgin can be incredibly sexy.

    Not only is it an opportunity for her to be in control and show you the ropes, but it can actually take some of the pressure off her. You can take the time to explore and learn what works for you both as a partnership without the pressure of past relationships.

    Your inexperience will only be a problem if you let it be one. We all have to start somewhere!

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    Lovehoney - Rebecca wrote:

    I have no advice other than what has been already said but for some women, meeting a man that is a virgin can be incredibly sexy.

    Not only is it an opportunity for her to be in control and show you the ropes, but it can actually take some of the pressure off her. You can take the time to explore and learn what works for you both as a partnership without the pressure of past relationships.

    Your inexperience will only be a problem if you let it be one. We all have to start somewhere!

    Exactly!

    So enjoy yourself and take some time. If you are going out ie clubs pubs to potentially seek a new partner but again dont try too hard , then make sure you have a wingman as a friend . He will keep you chatting so that you come accross as confident. Another tip is to brush up on your eye contact and body language . That will give you an indication whether the lady is interested . There are plenty tips on body language and eye contact on You Tube.

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