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  1. Anal sex

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    Butterbreast [sign in to see picture]
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    My wife is reluctant to allow me to have anal sex with her as she is scared of any complications she may encounter later in life, this was brought to her attention after we visited a high street sex shop( no names mentioned) and the assistant mentioned to my wife she may suffer later in life after having anal sex.

    She enjoys smaller anal toys which quickly bring her to a climax but I still can’t convince her to allow me to have full on anal sex with her. I would welcome any advice from all you lovely women who enjoy anal sex to advice me on how I can change her mind.

    Also I’ve tried numerous times to get my wife to have that mega orgasim that makes her squirt all over, I’m convinced she’s been close on plenty of occasions but she stops herself all the time as she keeps saying she feels as though she’s going to wet herself. For all you women who have been lucky enough to bring yourselves to the point of squirting, what is the feeling as you are about to squirt? Just so I can encourage my wife to keep going if she is getting close to squirting.

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    That assistant probably shouldn’t be working in a sex shop if they’re going to make stupid sweeping statements like that. I feel like that’s an attempt at sex shaming and it’s spreading the common misconception that anal causes medical complications. That’s just not the case for most people. If you don’t rush into anal sex, warm up appropriately and use enough lube then there shouldn’t be any issues.

    I would stay away from phrases like “convince her” and “change her mind”. You shouldn’t have to convince someone to try something sexual. They should want to do it.

    If it’s something she would like to try but is scared because of the misconceptions then it may ease her mind to do some of her own research. Have a read through the forum and use the search function to find popular posts on anal sex. There will be some good posts on this subject on the Lovehoney blog too. The common advice is go from small plugs to anal beads to a dildo then a partner. Work up slowly and it should go smoothly.

    As for squirting, just before it happens you get the “I need to wee” sensation. That’s totally normal. If you can relax and get past that feeling then it can happen. Waterproof sheets may make her feel more comfortable? Again, check out the search function as there’s tons of threads with squirting advice.

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    Delboy1991 [sign in to see picture]
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    Have u asked her why she won't let you? Because your too big or scared of making a mess? A simple douche could do the trick.https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30997. You could also ask her if she would like to try a butt plug..if you already have one maybe the next size up if she's scared about you bring to big. Could even ask her about trying relaxing gel. https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/better-anal-sex/anal-easing/

    She might just not like it. I have been with my partner 7 years and only just in the past year have we warmed to this althought we have used many toys over the years. Talking is key, and if she still doesn't want to try then you will have to respect that & leave it be.

    As for squirting, it sounds like she is almost there. If she is feeling ththe urge to pee she's probably about to squirt. You could put her at ease by buying something like a waterproof bed sheet..lovehoney sell these which are great. https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34896. Also going to the toilet before can help knowing it's not going to wet yourself. Have you also tried gently pushing on her pubic area when working ? This can help push it a little bit more. I cant stress enough relaxing is key, key , key! Run her a hot bath, massage her, help her out.

    Good luck x

    1515580844
    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
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    What complications did the shop assistant say would occur?

    1515582046
    Delboy1991 [sign in to see picture]
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    KingGrthy wrote:

    What complications did the shop assistant say would occur?

    Was thinking this too. Unless a medical profession I wouldn't take much notice.
    1515582376
    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
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    I've been having anal sex and anal play for many years and as yet haven't encountered any complications!

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    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    Delboy1991 wrote:

    KingGrthy wrote:

    What complications did the shop assistant say would occur?

    Was thinking this too. Unless a medical profession I wouldn't take much notice.

    I think a lot of people have this idea... (My mum is always saying "too much anal sex makes your arse fall out!") and of course anything done incorrectly or too often can damage the body, but when done properly there is no reason anyone should experience any problems later in life. Not as a result of anal fun, anyway. 

    1515584246
    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    It’s a very common misconception that anal sex gives you piles or can damage you, of course if you can damage yourself in many ways if you don’t take precautions or don’t build up to things. But as long as you have consent and a relaxed environment, plenty of thick lubricant and ease into things slowly. Work your way from a finger to a small plug etc it will be absolutely fine.
    If however someone believes they can be hurt or they don’t really want to do it then your body will tense and things will likely cause harm emotionally and physically. Time and patience is the key to anal sex.

    1515599586
    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
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    Exercising and stretching your muscles elsewhere in your body does not result in them becoming weaker. Sure you can hurt yourself if your not careful but sticking, even very large things in your bum results in stronger muscles that you are better able to control IMO. I even used to occasionally get piles but since I’ve started playing more often and with larger toys I haven’t had any.

    I’d still like to know what the complications mentioned were? I might also be inclined to register a complaint with the company in question, and I also have some serious questions about why a person with those kinds of foolish opinions would be working in that kind of shop in the first place.

    1515600022
    hampshirecouple [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

    Delboy1991 wrote:

    KingGrthy wrote:

    What complications did the shop assistant say would occur?

    Was thinking this too. Unless a medical profession I wouldn't take much notice.

    I think a lot of people have this idea... (My mum is always saying "too much anal sex makes your arse fall out!") and of course anything done incorrectly or too often can damage the body, but when done properly there is no reason anyone should experience any problems later in life. Not as a result of anal fun, anyway.

    Thanks Jess, I just nearly choked on my green tea when I read what your mum is always saying, LOL really is a thing, who'd have known. I also want to meet your mum she sounds awesome lol.

    Back to the original post, NatandTom sum it up perfectly, really can't add anything.Your OH is free to choose what she wants to do, maybe give her researched info to look at and let her make an informed educated decision (a shop assistant is not the best source of information on medical matters). Even with additional info she may still not want to do it, respect her decision and look at enhancing what she does like to do/what you like to do together.

    Have fun

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    Aims85 [sign in to see picture]
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    As long as you're sensible no problems will arise from it at all. I was dead against anal I mean full on not a chance so hubby stopped asking because he's a good man like that he'd never pressure me into anything. Since delving into the LH forums I realised I was interesting in giving it a go so on my terms I got lots of anal toys and played for months before we had anal sex. I love it now but it was on my terms!! The lady in the sex shop clearly knows knob all so I would disregard those comments.

    Squirting does feel like I'm about to pee because of course its all connected, the urethra and vagina so it can feel that way I just let go and enjoy the moment and we need towels 😂😂 again can't really be forced and have to relaxed and super turned on.

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    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    Why do you have to get her to 'change her mind', 'convince her' or 'get her' to do anything??

    If she's reluctant as you say to try anal fully she may simply not want to.

    Consider how you'd feel if your wife kept pushing you to do something you had previously shown reluctance to try or kept trying to push you to shoot your load over your head as if you usual orgasm wasn't enough?!

    1515624493
    Butterbreast [sign in to see picture]
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    Cheers for that advice, I will try to convince my good lady to relax through it and enjoy the feeling of squirting as I’m led to believe it’s the most unbelievable experience a woman can have during sex. I’m all for putting my wife first and making sure she has plenty of orgasms before I put myself inside her, I’m a firm believer that she should cum first before me if you pardon the pun

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    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    NaughtyNerd wrote:

    Why do you have to get her to 'change her mind', 'convince her' or 'get her' to do anything??

    If she's reluctant as you say to try anal fully she may simply not want to.

    Consider how you'd feel if your wife kept pushing you to do something you had previously shown reluctance to try or kept trying to push you to shoot your load over your head as if you usual orgasm wasn't enough?!

    Yes - this also. Well said.

    hampshirecouple wrote:

    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

    Delboy1991 wrote:

    KingGrthy wrote:

    Thanks Jess, I just nearly choked on my green tea when I read what your mum is always saying, LOL really is a thing, who'd have known. I also want to meet your mum she sounds awesome lol.

    Hahaha she is pretty awesome lol. 

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