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  1. Thoughts on porn?

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    Bigtrak [sign in to see picture]
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    We use it together about once or twice a month. We both love it but it needs to be with a story that intrigues and builds. A hell of a lot of it goes straight in and that does zero for us. Also the noises and facial shots need to be not overdone. Too much noise and silly faces also kill the mood. So it's rare to find something that does it and if I'm honest the majority of what we like is older for some reason. Just seems to hit what we are after.

    However we don't need it as my wife actually loves it when she closes her eyes and I just tell her a lesbian story that involves her with slow sensual kisses to her body.

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    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    When I was a teenager, the only porn I remember was in magazines which I think were either hidden away in newspaper shops, or only sold in sex shops (even video players hadn't been invented, or weren't at least widely affordable! lol. We're going back to the early 80s) - then a bit later the mags were sold 'top shelf' and sealed shut. My parents had a 'secret stash' of mags hidden away - they thought my bro and I didn't know about them - but of course, we did and took every opportunity to sneak a look at them! I didn't find the pictures sexually stimulating then...but loved reading the stories submitted by readers, and still to this day (almost 40 years later!) remember and feature some of them in my fantasies!

    Today, porn is so easily accessible... I'm sure most teenagers have seen so much, and have gotten totally the wrong idea of sex because of it! I have a very close Indonesian friend, who lived an extremely sheltered life on a small Island, his only computer access was from internet cafes, but admits he was totally addicted to porn by the time he was 19! He didn't lose his virginity until he was 27 though, because in his culture, sleeping with girls before all of his sisters were married was, kind off, giving guys the 'ok' to sleep with them...he thought the only way to show guys they needed to respect his sisters was for himself to respect other girls from his community. (we've been chatting on-line for about 15 years - we talk daily about almost everything even though he is over 20 years younger than me)

    Anyway - my point to telling you this is, once he got a girl-friend, he was very worried about sex. He used to ask me all kinds of stuff like, how many dates before it was ok to kiss, to try and 'cop a feel'... he was almost 30 and had watched some filthy porn..yet hadn't got a clue as to what was ok in reality! This was alien to me, but I struggled to give him good advice. It was also difficult because he was from a very strict Christian family and was deeply religious himself,whereas I'm a total Pagan. Once he started getting his GF into bed, he hadn't a clue either as to what 'kind' of sex she would consider to be either 'normal' or kinky, and was even worried that the girl didn't make the same faces or noises as those he had watched...or that she didn't 'squirt or get even nearly as wet as those in porno. So, was he doing something wrong? And - was it ok to try bum sex with her too? Let me say, I trust this guy, he wasn't asking me all this stuff for cheap thrills, he was genuinely confused and deeply regretted watching so much hard-core (Japanese mainly) porn.

    So... do kids from our culture feel the same way I wonder, now that they can access porn long before many of them start their own sexual adventures?

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    I remember my OH fiinding a load of porn mags dumped behind the bins in the flat where we lived in the early 80's ( I was 19 and newly married at the time ) and I too found the readers stories absolutely facinating and spent ages poring over them while he looked at the pics!

    These days with internet porn I can take it or leave it , I have times where I look at lots of it and then I seem to get a bit bored....too much of its the same old stuff and I'm getting more and more choosy over what I watch. I do think a lot of it represents a very unrealistic view of sex though and that's rather worrying for the younger generation who've grown up with this as the norm.

    When I do watch it tends to be more amateur stuff but occasionally I have to dip into studio porn to satisfy my craving for men in uniform as it tends to be the only place I can find it !

    It's had no negative effect on my sex life though.

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    Butterbreast [sign in to see picture]
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    Well said Evil Angel, there’s nothing wrong with watching how other people having sex. We can pick up more ideas that could improve our own sexual activities. Is it any different from sharing our ideas in a message on this site? We just don’t put the pictures on that’s the only difference.

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    Holly Love [sign in to see picture]
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    We often watch abit of amature stuff together really gets us going not so keen on all the fake stuff though. Might have a go at making our own homemade videos.

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    Volbabe88 [sign in to see picture]
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    Me and my husband have only just started watching porn together. He watches porn when I'm working overnight he always has I don't mind!!
    Occasionally when he's not here I will watch porn to masterbate.
    Watching porn doesn't affect our sex life negatively at all I wouldn't say.

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    thecandyman [sign in to see picture]
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    My wife hates porn, says it's as bad as cheating. Says if I watch it I'm being disrespectful to her and her opinions. So try to keep away from it now.

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    dave82 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have used porn when I was younger but stay away from it when in a relationship as prefer the real thing.

    I did post sometime ago my bigest concern with porn is how the people involved are treated. Someone else suggested a great name for some fair trade porn "fairlaid"

    I do think it's best to be open and honest with a partner about it as I think when people find ther OH is using porn it is as much the hiding it as it is the fact they are using porn.

    It can also be a good outlet when people have differing tastes in sex it might be you can't agree on a kink and this need could be satisfied by a bit of porn (better than exploring it outside of the relationship) as long as it isn't taking away from the actual sex life then it could be a good thing.

    Still think the main thing for me is the treatment of the people involved. But you could argue the same about the people that make your mobile phone or clothes!

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    KinkyMira [sign in to see picture]
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    Love the idea of "fairlaid".

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    schlongford [sign in to see picture]
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    We enjoy watching the home made stuff, its good fun but we dont make a regular thing of it. Sometimes when we goto a hotel for hotel sex we might put it on after sex.

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    Dickiebird [sign in to see picture]
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    I like watching soft porn as this can get me in the mood for sex or a good hand job. As long as people remember that porn is only staged films and not real life, then I see no problem with it.

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    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    Bit of news here!! Porn has never really done much for me (as I've said in my rather long rambling posts lol) but the other night, we found one that was very realistic...not sure if it was amateur or not TBH. One girl was lonely because her hubby had gone away for a week, she was being comforted by her female friend who offered to give her a massage. It progressed to the upset girl being very, very slowly seduced by the other during the massage. it was hellish erotic and turned me on sooooo much! Yayyy me!

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