1. Swinging

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    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi,

    Can someone explain swinging to me please? I have questions..

    1) is it a straight partner swap of do singles get involved?

    2) Are you better doing it away from home in case you know someone there?

    3) Do people who attend need to get regularaly tested and it this a requirement of attending? I know people will use protection, we would always but our experiences are that condoms sometimes split..

    4) Is the sex pre-planned or does it just happen on the spot?

    5) How do I go about getting us involved?

    I am a health care professional and I'm not sure if there would be consequences regarding my qualifications if we met someone we knew and it was leaked to the wrong people.

    Sorry if these questions have alreafy been asked, i'm really curious and any advice would be great!

    Thanks for the replies X

    1513505125
    Badger73 [sign in to see picture]
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    It would depend on what you are looking for, we normally find a single guy for a MMF and arrainge to meet at a motel. If we click and get on we take turns in pleasing Mrs B, anything from kissing and fondleing to going all the way.

    We try to meet with guys from out of town as we live in a very small comunity and want to keep everything private.

    We only do it about every 4 to 6 months and testing is a must. We are on Fabswingers but here in New Zealand there are not many members.

    Hope this is of some help. We spent ages looking into it and reading all about it before taking the big step.

    1513507231
    aanda [sign in to see picture]
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    there are not right answers to your questions, everyone does it differently, all depends what you want.

    best bet woud be to go to a club, you dont have to play, just watch what is going on.

    the key is for you both to talk honestly about what you are looking for, your relationship is more important than a bit of fun, respect each others wishes, and have ground rules inplace.

    if you do go for it have fun

    1513512095
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks Badger and aanda for your answers, I really appreciate your honesty <3

    I agree about the communication and that our relationship is paramount here before anything else should even be considered, weve been married over 20 years and we love each other, I would never puropsefully tisk that.

    The ground rules advice is great aanda as is your feelings about keeping things private is also brilliant Badger.

    Looks like we need to take a look at fabswingers. Are swingers predominantly single males and couples or do single females get involved too?

    1513518319
    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
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    Mr Pheebs wrote:

    Looks like we need to take a look at fabswingers. Are swingers predominantly single males and couples or do single females get involved too?

    Probably 60% males, 30% couples and 5% and 5% Females TS/TV although that is a rough estimation .

    Each can filter their own preferences there, including age range, distance and of course the type of person or people (MF MM or FF) you want to be with.

    Would recommend getting photo verified too, as once done, you can omit those without this from your list as there are many chancers who'll be there to collect photos or use your chats online to get off with - Sorry there is a downside too this lifestyle also.

    .

    1513535082
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks Tiger, I'll bear this in mind.

    1513541763
    Traumnovelle [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Mr Pheebs,

    Having been ‘on the scene’ for a few years, both as a single guy and a couple, I think I can offer a balanced opinion. Primarily my experiences have been through clubs or contact sites as mentioned above.

    The first thing to stress, irrelevant of the setting, is that no means no - respect is the key.

    The second is to be specific in your own mind about what you wish to find.

    The third is to remember that whether you are in a club or on a website, everyone is there for the same reason, so I am sure that any professional worries are unnecessary.

    To look at the other things you mentioned, no it does not have to be a straight swap, but yes it can if you want it to. Generally the sex is spontaneous and ‘go with the flow’ and my experience is that ‘safer sex’ is the norm within the swinging world and less so outside it.

    I see your initial post is from a while back, so hopefully by now you have had some wonderful experiences.

    For anyone else reading who is not yet involved and wants to be - go for it.

    Set yourself up an account on one of the reputable websites or visit your local club. Yes your first time will be daunting, but people don’t bite - unless you want them to!!

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    [suspended user]

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    My wife and I have been swinging for many years. Started at clubs and met some very nice likeminded people and have for the last 10 years been having parties at our large farmhouse in the middle of the countryside. We have a total of 40 - 50 friends in total but only have parties of about 12 - 15 at a time to a party. They are mainly couples but have several singles mostly female. We do have some very strict rules such as everybody including my wife and I have to produce a medical test report within the last 4 days, nobody is allowed a camera or phone on in the house or garden but phones can be used in certain areas. Nothing is preplanned and anything goes. We must be getting things right because people keep asking to come to the next party but we always share with other couples and change around.

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    Peakcouple [sign in to see picture]
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    We have been swinging for over 12 years; we started a few weeks after we first met. In answer to the questions -

    1. We prefer straight partner swaps, but have had 3somes of both types and she very occasionally becomes a greedy girl in clubs. It really deopends on the situation. Our planned meets are usually even numbers of M and F, usually 4somes.

    2. Depends on where you live! if in a semi or flat, your neighbours might hear you having group-sex (if that bothers you!). If you go to a cub, there's always the chance of meeting somebody you know (but it has never happend to us - yet).

    3. We get tested every 6 months. Never had a condom split while swinging, but we do bareback with very good friends.

    4. Home meets are pre-planned but swinger club sex is very spontaneous. We often go into a public playroom, start playing together and then just swap with a nearby couple. Or meet another couple in the bar and all go off together to play. Or just join a group playing in our club's orgy room and swap. Or she gets into the sex-swing and men gather.  it can be anything you want.

    5. Suggest you do what we did at first, visit a swinger club to check out the scene and take things easily. We did our first 'soft-swing' swap on our second club visit and our first full swap on outr 4th or 5th visit. There's no pressure to play in clubs, many people just go to watch others.

    R was a therapist and there might have been consequences if her swinging came out, but if you keep things discreet all should be well. You'd be surprised at the jobs of some swingers we know - police, teachers and doctors, for a start.

    We can thoroughly recommend swinging as a way to meet both our sexual needs - we have always needed variety throughout our lives and swinging is an open, non-deceitful way to meet these needs. We also did it to push our boundaries and make sex an adventure, although our best sex is always between the two of us. For us it is just fun sex, we don't do it because something is lacking in our relationship. If there is a lack, or if only one of a pair wants to swing then trouble lies ahead.

    We swing with good swinger friends, which is fun as we know what turns us all on. We also enjoy swinging with strangers, fun to have sex with completely new people now and again.

    Just don't become "hardened" and start collecting 'notches on the bedpost' or similar. it's just a game. we know people who swing almost obsessively every week. For us it's every couple of months, and just for fun.

    Give it a try - hope you like it as much as we do!

    1513554016
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
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    Brilliant replies, thanks all, we really appreciate the candour and advice :)

    1513802632
    Dixie Normous [sign in to see picture]
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    Lots of good advice here. Unfortunately I'm going to have to accept that my wife and I don't have the same view re swinging unfortunately ☹️

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    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
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    Mine asks questions occasionally so I'm gathering info from people in the know that I trust will give me honedt advice. As already mentioned in this post, it needs a clear conversation and I want to know as much as I can before we talk about it.

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    Peakcouple [sign in to see picture]
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    Good luck Mr (& Mrs) Pheebs. Swinging is cotrary to everything most people have been brought up to believe and value, but that doesn't make it wrong. As long as both of you are willing to try it then all should be well, remember take it slowly and comminuicate throughout.

    Didn't mention here that we came to it by watching a DVD filmed in the Sheffield swinger club La Chambre of ordinary people having group-sex in a playroom. Think the DVD was called "Swinger 2" - it looked like relaxed, natural, erotic fun so we went to the club the next Saturday, after a long discussion spread over a couple of days. Basically, we agreed to go and see what it was like and were pleasantly surprised by the place and the atmosphere, neither were sordid or in any other way off-putting.

    You may not like watching porn together, but if you do there are many amateur clips filmed in German and Fench swinger clubs on places like XHamster. The La Chambre clips are on that site too, try putting 'British swinger club' in search.

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey Peakcouple, I am a single man and young. I haven't yet explored swinging but want to try this as I am a very sexual person and am going to try naturism soon.

    I live on the Isle of Wight so if you decide to come here for a holiday then I'm thinking we could meet up and go to a naturist spot.

    Yes this message is a bit forward as you don't know me, but if you did I would be one of the most nicest guys you will have seen.

    If there is another site I can talk to you guys on just reply...

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    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
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    SingleMale101 wrote:

    Hey Peakcouple, I am a single man and young. I haven't yet explored swinging but want to try this as I am a very sexual person and am going to try naturism soon.

    I live on the Isle of Wight so if you decide to come here for a holiday then I'm thinking we could meet up and go to a naturist spot.

    Yes this message is a bit forward as you don't know me, but if you did I would be one of the most nicest guys you will have seen.

    If there is another site I can talk to you guys on just reply...

    try fabswingers

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    [suspended user]

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    love to swing with others x

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    SingleMale101 [sign in to see picture]
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    Is there anyone on here that is on swinging heaven ?

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    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
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    SingleMale101 wrote:

    Is there anyone on here that is on swinging heaven ?

    We used to be but switched to Fabswingers as found it better and easier to use.
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    Peakcouple [sign in to see picture]
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    Swinging Heaven isn't as good as Fabswingers. Try Social Swinging too, they arrange get-toigethers around the country. Both of these sites are free!

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