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  1. Real or faked orgasms.

    1513375476
    10spdee [sign in to see picture]
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    I’ve done a search of previous posts but cannot find an answer to something I have been wondering about. Occasionally I watch a little porn to get me in the zone. Now it seems to me fairly obvious when women are just really over the top and faking orgasms. All the shrieking and moaning is a bit of a turn off. Maybe some do react this way, fair play to them, go for it! So how can you tell when they are for real? Erect nipples, toes curling, I don’t know. Maybe they are just better actors. Sometimes I think I spot the genuine ones when a woman is pleasuring herself, it just feels a bit more intimate and sensual. Can women spot it easier than men. There are large gaps in my education, wouldn’t know the difference between a clitoris and a clematis😄 I would really but would have to look closely.

    1513380808
    Avidrae [sign in to see picture]
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    If you're attentive to your lover and you gel with her, you'll probably be able to pick up on it. If you think she's faking just stop ...she'll probably ask what's wrong? If she's having a real one she'll probably beg you to keep going. I think there's probably a certain tension held in the body when you climax that you don't get if you're faking it so you would feel this reflected in your body. Not sure if that's helpful to you but I shouldn't worry about it in any case.

    1513437090
    10spdee [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks, yes I get what you mean. No partner on the scene just now so nothing to worry about at all. It was just a silly thought I’ve had in mind for a while.

    1513438949
    halfupdownmary [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it's definitely to do with reading the body more than the "noise" they make.
    Definitely the whole toe curling, tense body is a lot harder to fake than a little shriek of joy

    1513444760
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Some women do shreek and moan, during orgasm, and some very loudly ( puts hand up). So do be careful not to accuse a woman of faking it, because she is doing the porn star bit.

    So women may fake orgasm because they can't orgasm from penetration alone, and guys tend to get bruised egos if they can't make a woman orgasm just by having them. Particularly on a one night stand, I have had female friends tell stories of guys getting a bit angry with them because he didn't make her orgasm.

    In a relationship she doesn't want to make him feel he's no good in bed, because she can't orgasm from penetration alone; so she fakes it. It's about getting the guy to do other things, like clit stim at the same time, him being ok with using a vibe at the same time, or her using her fingers on herself at the same time. There are women who really strugle to orgasm with a partner; and if she is a woman unlucky enough to have had a few guys, who shall I say, get "upset" because they can't make her orgasm. it becomes less of a hassle to fake it.

    There are a good few guys out there who take exeption to a woman telling him " how to do his bit" , eventually the woman gets to thinking, " I can't cope with this male " shut up I know what I'm doing" thing, so they fake it.

    Some women will tell the guy what they want and how they want it, and never fake it.

    So really it's down to the woman and her personal experiences, as to if she fakes it or not; that is just a general over view, and by no means all the answers.

    When you get a partner, and you start having sex, tell her you want her to show you how it works for her; that if that means toys or what ever else, you are fine with that too. That you just want her to have a good time, and not feel pressured into having an orgasm for you. Tell her you would prefer her to be open about her ability to orgasm; and that you are not going to get the face one if you can't just make her orgasm. For a woman feeling pressured into having an orgasm for the sake of a guys ego, is one sure way to make it impossible for her to cum at all.

    If she says well look I can't orgasm, or never have with a partner; just ask her if there is anything else that you can do for her to make it fun and pleasurable for her. Tell her if she would like to work on her problem, at any point, to tell you, and you will do anything you can to try help her; except put pressure on her. But don't go in with an " i'm going to fix you " attitude.

    If she needs to scream, etc, you are going to have to let her, being told how to have your orgasm is really going to piss her off. I think if you have spoke to her, as above, and you are both happy with things, then if she does scream you will learn to enjoy it, and even get turned on by it. It's likely the fact you feel it's fakery that is turning you off, not the sounds themselves.

    1513446668
    Love Stud Too [sign in to see picture]
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    My best indicator is, post orgasm, my OH can't stand to be touched on the back as she is so sensitive for a few minutes.

    1513456204
    10spdee [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks, great words of advice there. I will file it all away for future reference. I would like to think that if I do have an intimate relationship sometime, it would have to be a mutually pleasureable experience. Otherwise what would be the point? Actually, I know I would have to put the partners needs first and not have any expectations of a particular result. I am like that in life in general and tend to put others needs before my own, but I mostly don’t mind I still get satisfaction from it so all’s good. As for the porn stars, some performances must be genuine. Professionals versus amateur clips?

    1513463507
    Avidrae [sign in to see picture]
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    You sound very wise 10spdee. All relationships are about communication so chatting openly about sex in a loving relationship is rewarding for both parties. I hope you meet someone who is like minded and have fun with your experiences....because it is fun. Remember your needs are as important and as valid as anyone else's. All the best.

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