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  1. New here - need advice!

    Master93 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2017

    So I have a wild wild wild brain. OH less so but I know it’s in there somewhere if you get what I mean!

    So I need some advice in ‘unlocking’ that side?

    Everyone with me?

    Master93 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2017

    Should add a bit more info -
    I am the male,
    Both young (late 20’s)
    Long relationship of 9 years
    Her wild side tends to come out after a few drinks which must mean it’s there!!

    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1483
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2005

    Hey and welcome master, by “wild side” do you mean anything in particular? Is she more open to bondage play etc or is it standard sexual advances which she shrugs off until she’s had a few tipples?

    9 years is a long time so maybe it’s time to experiment more with a few toys if she’s open to this? The best thing to do is have a discussion with your partner, ask her what she likes and what turns her on. Most relationship dynamics have one person who is lesser in the mood than the other, we all have different things going on and different attitudes towards sex. Even if someone loves you and fancy’s the absolute pants off you, it doesn’t mean they want to willing jump in bed at every ocassion. You can maybe spend some more time on her, give her some more attention and maybe some
    Teasing? A lot of people I have dated still need to get the engine revved up with plenty of kissing, neck kissing, dirty talk and light petting before anything happens. So have a look at your sex life and see if anything is a bit robotic and samey, speak to your partner and just ask few questions such as “is there anything you would like to try in the bedroom”. Just light banter to get some ideas. Remember this isn’t an interrogation, and respect your partners wishes. If she is going through a slight dry spell then reassure her that you love her, make her feel great about herself and buy yourself a few solo toys until things settle again.

    Master93 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2017

    Hi thanks for the reply!

    Yes most sexual advances brushed off! We do have a few toys (just standard vibrators) that have become a regular (9 out of 10 times) however she is hesitant when using ‘new’ or different toys where as for me trying anything new is exciting.

    I know she likes the idea of being a sub so I have tried being a dom however I am trying to be a Dom that pleases her as opposed to dominating someone for my pleasure if that’s make sense!

    I do think she is open to sleeping with someone else as well as we have role played it before -

    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Just saying welcome xx

    Modo [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 20 May 2015

    Hello, welcome to the forum.

    That is a very popular question on the forum and I am afraid there is no "one fits all answer".

    It may be upbringing making her a little uptight about sex so booze may loosen inhibitions but that is not to suggest you go down that route.

    The best way to go is through conversation. Inhibition often has a back door, so it is up to you to find the key, assuming it exists.

    Rimmer57 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1569
    • Joined: 8 Aug 2013

    Hi and Welcome Master 93.
    Why don't both of you sit down with pen and paper and write down what new experiences you would like to try, then compare answers, then take it from there. Whatever you decide....Enjoy yourselves.

    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 671
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    Hi and welcome. Think knowing what both of you enjoy most could be the solution. In my humble opinion, in a master and slave situation it also has to be enjoyable for both and not just her.

    Members suggested communication and I second that.

    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 12 Oct 2017

    Hey and welcome!

    As already suggested - communication - then enjoy! xx

    Kneeslider [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 44
    • Joined: 21 Jul 2013

    mojoupgrade.com? Although my Mrs just refused to fill it in :P It did however prompt a discussion and led to trying a few new things.

    At this time of year you could put some toys on your list for Santa and see what he brings

    Lari42 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 4 Oct 2016

    Hi and welcome!

    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 30 Mar 2015

    I'm not quite sure what your looking for but I will share my experience. I'm a female and my male OH is older and had never experimented with bondage of any sort. It's hitting a woman and wrong in his mind. (A nice moral which I like but I think the rules can be bent for a bit of bedroom fun).

    So I purchased a paddle and a slapper from here, bondage boutique range, inexpensive but real leather and feel good quality. One weekend morning OH was making breakfast, I came down stairs and put both the slapper and paddle on the kitchen worktop, "choose your weapon" I said.

    OH looked confused briefly (I was naked, OH in pants only) so I grabbed the slapper, gave him a quick but firm slap to his bottom then ran away upstairs giggling. He wasn't going to let me get away with that so he chased me with the paddle, and . . . . . well let's say bondage is now a valid option in our bedroom play, including restraints and paddles etc.

    Im not sure if this was what you had in mind, but it worked for us.

    Quiet ones are worse! [sign in to see picture]
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    Taken me 20 years to say things I wish?

    Master93 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2017

    Wow thanks for the link to the questionnaire site @kneeslider I think I will getting this questionnaire into a conversation somehow as it does seem good! It’s even out ideas into my head I want to try which I didn’t even know about!

    I will keep all updated with progress!

    KinkyMinxMoo [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 20 Nov 2013

    Just saying welcome

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