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  1. what do I do ??

    1510868865
    bonjohn [sign in to see picture]
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    evening all. I dont write on here much but I do love flicking threw and ready everyone's posts.

    I last posted a couple of year ago 😮 and I would like to bring it up again if you all dont mind. just for abit of advice and to talk about it to someone else really

    this was my last post https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/1362771-starting-to-feel-un-wanted/page-2/#p1363421

    it's helps if u read it first before going ahead.

    .......
    so after pretty much 2 years from the last post not much has change in the bedroom department with the OH. and I'm at the point were im on the edge of saying enough is enough.
    I have spoken to her about it and how I feel and how it makes me feel. I have said im willing to do anything to help us. I've tried different things to see if that makes a difference but it dont. I'm getting the feeling everything I say goes through one ear and comes out the other as "I want sex " " I want sex" etc its like she dont see that she needs to change too. she dont wanna please me or make me happier

    sorry for bringing it all up again I just needed to get abit off my chest.

    1510873966
    Saucy Sarah [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi

    i have just read your post from previous times.

    I personally feel that sex and intimacy are very important in any marriage and relationship and it is difficult to be close to that person without it. Unfortunately lots of women don't realise that it is a bigger need for men than women. I admire you for holding out this long and I agree with what that last post said that you have an ultimatum you either go your separate ways or agree that you can have a polygamous relationship.

    Unfortunately some women are happy to make babies and once the baby has arrived they go off making them and sex I don't really get why but that s me.

    From being on the other end of internet dating where it is full of married sex starved men who are desparate for sex and the sad thing is that these woman don't realise that they could lose their husbands because they are not satisfying them and it makes them want to cheat.

    I have also been with a married man who was clearly unhappy and he felt trapped in the situation and was not having sex with his wife.

    It's a sad state of affairs that we are in in this society. I personally don't understand why people would not wish to please and keep their partner happy as it is a very important part of a relationship.

    it seems like you have tried very hard to make it work but are not getting that same commitment back so I suppose it is ultimately your decision as there is probably lots at stake.

    But I feel for you I honestly do.

    hope you sort it out in some way what is best for you and that I have been of some guidance

    1510874101
    Lovehoney - Paige [sign in to see picture]
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    It sounds like you have spent a long time trying to talk and to fix things but it is not helping you both.

    Have you maybe asked how she sees things from her perspective? Maybe try and get a insight into her feelings. That is all I could really suggest unfortunately unless you wanted to consider talking to a relationship professional or unfortunately maybe ending your relationship alltogether if you are unhappy.

    1510877836
    squishlet [sign in to see picture]
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    Could you go to Relate for counselling? They will see individuals as well as couples, I think. They might have some ideas, or at least help you to sort out in your head what you really want to do.

    Do you talk together about topics other than sex? I mean, do you talk about politics, religion, 'putting-the-world-to-rights', or any shared interests? Do you share a sense of humour and laugh together ever? If not, I would say there are deeper issues than sex at play here. Just an off-the-cuff thought - could you get tickets to go and see a comedian you both really like, or put on a DVD that you both used to find really funny? OK, it's not a solution to your serious problem, but doing something funny and fun together could start to rekindle a sense of closeness that may open the door to deeper discussion.

    I hope things work out for you xx.

    1510882310
    bonjohn [sign in to see picture]
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    thanks for the replies.

    yes we do talk to each other about things in life. and we do have a laugh sometimes.(that's what i first liked about yer, she was a bit crazy and funny) and still is but maybe a little less now.

    we do sit a watch stuff together that we both like.

    apart from the sexual side of our relationship I would say it's ok. we laugh, moan, stress each other out, enjoy being together, talk, which after 10yrs and 2 kids I would say is normal lolol.
    it's just were at both oppersite ends of the sex drive scale

    1510906153
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, may ask you a blunt question? Apology if it hurts.
    Is she afraid of getting pregnant again? I have a gf (late 30) after giving birth to 2 children stops sex altogether. Of course the couple can use condoms but it's against their religious beliefs. Therefore not having sex is the best solution. I'm sure there are other reasons, religion is just an example. Think there are more than meeting the eyes.

    1510914892
    RachelWelsh [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry that this is long, it has been a long 15 years for me experiencing the same as what you have been through. I have hung in there and I don't regret it. Here is why:

    Over that time, we have gone through periods of having a slight improvement and then going back to how it was. As a woman with the higher sex drive I can relate to what you are saying, I have felt unwanted and it has affected my self esteem and the dynamic of our marriage. When things are off kilter we can really start to have problems. I have found this year to be our best yet. Yet it took us to reach the end of the road and him realising that I was serious that we had to both work for it if we wanted to continue in our marriage. I told him how deeply unhappy I was and I had planned leaving because I couldn't continue giving so much in my marriage to feel like this.

    The end result of that awakening conversation was him telling me that he had practical needs and emotional needs that I was overlooking. He was the only one working at the time due to him supporting our big family whilst I raised our young, growing family and then did my teacher training, so the financial burden rested on him to earn which would take the toll on him mentally and also emotionally speaking he wanted to feel wanted to. So he asked me to be more vocal as a lot of the time, I had given up initiating sex because of the fear of rejection. I kind of expected him to show me he wanted me as I was so distressed at feeling unwanted and a bit like a pest, so I wanted him to show me, but this wasn't working for him. He asked me for more openness on when I wanted sex, mainly by flirting and affection. I feel this addressed some of the balance as I understand how the finances took a toll on him, just as raising the kids often takes its toll on the stay at home mother (or father).

    In return he has paid better attention now (it isn't perfect but it is so much better) to my needs, he has mostly maintained not leaving sex longer than once a week but preferably twice. Telling him that I had that basic need for once or twice a week or anything extra would just give him such husband points that I would then walk over hot coals to make him happy in what ever way he needed just out of sheer gratitude lol 😂 he has started opening up to the exciting world of lovehoney and all the wonderful things within it to spice it up for both of us. I sent him a screenshot of something I thought HE might like, knowing he has made little hints in the past. This was a big turn on for him and I think I found 'the on switch' for him. I then asked him to text me a screenshot of something he thought I would like. It started the ball rolling with opening up communication wise.

    I would say don't give up until you know that she won't work with you on improving your relationship. Start with communication, no blaming or shaming just asking what you can do to make their life in your marriage better. Have a full and Frank conversation about you not wanting to leave but feeling like this is getting to a point where there will be no other option. Try and get her to open up to see if there is an imbalance in your relationship that you could address that would help her, it could be a physical imbalance, mental, emotional. Addressing this often shows the other that you are going to make the commitment to work on everything and shows that you care and aren't just demanding your needs be met as an ultimatum, when my husband saw I was addressing his needs, he met me half way.

    I hope you can work through this, but it does take two, if both are willing to make a conscious decision to make more effort to meeting each others needs you definitely can make this work and there is hope that it can improve! Good luck and keep us posting. I hope you find a solution here that helps 🤞

    1510919441
    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey Bonjon,

    I've just read the old thread and it's left me feeling incredibly sad... you're in such a difficult situation (as are/was a few other guys who commented). And tbh, I don't think splitting up is the answer - for either of you as you write that 'apart from the sexual side of our relationship I would say it's ok. we laugh, moan, stress each other out, enjoy being together, talk, which after 10yrs and 2 kids I would say is normal' - so, really other than her sex drive, you're happy with her and you life together - so why leave over sex? Sex (although very important in the majority of relationships) can be such a small part of your life together. You share so much, the kids, the home, your life ffs... so there is obviously love there. Love is so much more important than sex.

    You can masterbate - buy some toys, watch some porn!! I understand thats not the complete answer, we all need intimacy as well as orgasm, and we don't get the intimacy we need by masterbating. I'm sure you do that anyway...does she know that you have a wank/watch porn - how does she feel about that? I know porn can make some women very insecure - their guys are watching porn full of slim, beutiful girls who make all the right noises blah blah blah... they feel frumpy, mumsy and too tired and maybe overwhelmed with just getting through each day to make the effort yet alone the shapes and noises. Being a Mum isn't easy - you loose all of your identity - especially your sexual identity. Giving birth is a traumatic experience too! I know many women who after pushing a baby out of their foofoo never wanted anything else near it let alone IN it! With time, hopfully that passes - the longer this goes on, the harder it gets to put right. As does her habit of of saying 'no' all the time. Maybe she does actually want sex sometimes...but she feels she can't break the habit otherwise you may want it again the next night!

    Ok so I'm sure you understand all of the above and have considered it - and I'm rambling... it's a thought process lol. Sorrry.

    I suffered a traumatic brain injury 10 years ago (during sex!!) - after a long stay in hospital, then a very long recuperation and rehabilitation period where sex wasn't really an option (that lasted maybe 2 years) I had got into the habit of going to bed, having a read or watching TV, turning the lights out with just a brief kiss and 'I Love you' then sleep - sleep was an escape from my life. An escape I needed. Maybe your wife needs that escape too? I dunno how old you both are? I was early 40's and OH late 30's. The brain injury had buggered my pituitary gland, so 'sex hormones' weren't being made to put it simply, which also bought about menopause - so there was two very good reasons why I didn't want sex - let me say it wasn't that I didn't want sex and intimacy - or to please my man - I just didn't have the feelings down there - the tingle at his touch etc. We only did it maybe once every 3 months for 10 years!! (Poor Mr SPider eh?) I'm telling you this to explain that there is physical causes as to why your wife might be like this - broach the subject - the pituitary gland can have all kinds of problems with no physical cause - a simple blood test can diagnose a fault, and the menopause can also cause lack of sex drive...again, a simple blood test done mid-cycle can diagnose if she is going through menopause. Menopause can last years in some women too!

    I was very lucky. Mr Spider was frustrated and no doubt at times hated me....sometimes but very rarely, he would guilt trip me into doing it - that kind of left me feeling resentful and even a little violated - I enjoyed it a little - but no like I did pre-brain injury. I knew he watched porn and wanked and totally understood why - I didn't mind... but it didn't help. Poor bugger was doing everything around the house, plus being my full time carer, raising my 3 teenage kids (which I bought with me into our relationship - we had been together about 6 years before the brain injury), all the shoppping (I rarely even went with him to help with a job I could of done - picking out the food) all the driving me to and from appointments, rehab, sons to Uni etc etc whilst I sat a did what i do - listen to music, read, and craft. It was a time of self healing but still very selfish eh? We both needed to heal, the whole family did actually - but I couldn't see (until my psycologist pointed it out) that thebrain injury didn't happen to just me, but to the whole family. Anywa...as I was saying, Mr Spider did his very very best. He never went out socially alone so I know he didn't stray...maybe a little chat on-line - I don't need to know about that... and he says he never considered leaving me because of the lack of sex and intimacy. A deep love was our key to getting back on track - not talking, not sex toys or sexy undies. Love. Simple.

    I don't know exactly what happened - maybe I reached the end of the menopause...maybe my pituitary gland is working again? lol I don't need answers or any more blood tests - I'm just happy that finally a few months ago something clicked and yeah...I fancied sex again!

    We were Lovehoney customers years ago, before the brain injury, but I had chucked all our old toys in the bin,resigned to the fact I would never want sex again and we had loads!! But at the back of a drawer I found our old 'Pulsatron' vibe complete with furry leaking battery's With a bit of a clean up it worked, but tbh, it just wasn't enough!! And so the new ( and bank emptying) adventure of newer and better sex toys began!

    None of this is an answer for you, is it, my lovely? but maybe it will give you hope and faith that if you don't leave and are patient, things will come right. Talk to your wife, maybe show her this... she may decide to go to the GP and ask for tests to see if her pituitary gland is working ok or if she has reached menopause or even if anything else is physically wrong. She needs to accept that this isn't normal and that help is available. Counselling isn' always the way - sometimes it's a physical or even psysilogical problem.

    1510933550

    [suspended user]

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    Hi Bonjohn,

    Do not take this the wrong way, this is just my opionion based on very little information and my own life experiance.

    I only hope some of it may hit home and will give you some ideas on how to make your problem better.

    You are a grown man,a Husaband and Father the rest of your life needs to be about your kids and your Wife.Your needs are secondary, this means YOU need to make a change, a BIG change. The problem us man have is we have way too much time on our hands and we do not do enough for the ones we love with our spare time.

    I do not know you or the whole story, But I am 100 percent sure you get exposed to many outside sources that will get you sexualy aroused.

    This stimulus from TV, radio,books, internet or the half naked Women everywhere that can freely dress as they please in this modern age will cause you to obsess about sex and make your desire that much stronger. My point is are you really as horny as you would be if this outside stimulus did not exist?

    Since you seem to be in this for the long haul, why not opt out of the outside stimulus as much as you possibly can. This means no porn, no movies that have the potential to turn you on, Keep movie time for your family and you and keep it PG 13 if that is a rating where you live.

    Spend your waking hours at work providing for your family and your spare time showing all of them your love by being spontanious and doing things you know each of them like. Go out of your way to be the father you know your children want, and be the Husband and Father your Wife wants you to be.

    If theres is a long list of chores you have been putting off, tackle that list one item at a time until the list is complete, even do work or chores that is not expected yet you know will be appericated, like building a tree house with your kids or some other project.

    Make sure to take time to take of the kids care and do everything your Wife would do on a daily basis, like cooking cleaning, bath time, making the beds, doing the laundry ETC do as much as this as you possibly can. do it without looking for a reward. Do this type of stuff because you love your family and want the very best for them.

    The free time your Wife has will eventually give her the rest and time she needs to get back to her normal routine where she can care for her needs where she will feel better about herself.

    I can assure you as bad as you have it your Wifes life is 100 percent worse, and yes I bet she is Horny also, yet I am sure she takes care of that on her own.

    If your like most men , this means you work hard get home and do very little at home to lessen your wifes work load because your tired sore stressed etc. Yet none of that matters to a Wife that has spent the day dealing with screaming crying puking peeing fighting kids all day long everyday with no break. If the roles were reversed I am sure you would be the one saying your not horny.

    I am going to suggest for you to read two books, first and formost Fireproof.

    Fireproof also comes as a movie. this is a powerful movie that can help you reguardless of your religous beliefs. If your not into religion that is ok just watch the movie or read the book to inspire your ideas and actions.

    The second book I recommend is Men is from Mars and Women are from Venus. This book made a big change in my life and relationship since it helped me realize the differances between men and women.

    This is important to understand because things that may be nothing to us men can cause women to get to a level ten anger situation, yet since we are uneducated in these differances we go around trying to fix something only to make it worse.

    I am not saying you have to go around with blue balls all the time, there is enough scientific evidence proving that if you do not use it you will lose it. Lack of sex, intimacy, touch etc can lead to serious physical and mental health conditons.

    This is where you need to educate yourself and your Wife with what happens when men and women stop having sex. There is many educational websites that cover this. Here is one just for an example.

    http://www.yourtango.com/2016289183/10-things-happen-your-body-when-you-stop-having-sex

    This does not mean you need to put pressure on her, just explain openly and honestly with scientific proof in hand that lack of sex and intamacy can, will and is causing harm to your relationship and both your bodies.

    My gut is telling me if you learn from the resources I provided and practice what you learn this issue will sort its self out. In the meantime just because your wife is not interested in sex does not mean you have to go around unsatisfied and you should not have to hide in your bathroom to jerk off all alone for a release.

    Let your Wife know because you have children once you both go to bed when you have an uncontrollable urge for sex that you will be satisfying yourself and she can join in if she feels like it. Let her know you will be remembering in your mind the last great sex session you two had and also assure her that She is the only woman in the entire World that you want to be with even in your imagination.

    I think she would be just fine with masturbation sessions behind locked doors when she is there, unless your at it all night keeping her up. If she goes to bed early to read a book would be the perfect time to do this, because I am willing to bet the book she may be reading is romantic in nature.

    As long as she knows your are masturbating because of lustful feelings for her and not some pornstar that she cannot compete with, I bet she will get turned on. If she still does not get aroused at least you got some relief and can try and live a somewhat normal life, where not every single thought is of sex.

    One particluar toy I highley suggest getting is a prostate massager, Love Honey has many to choose from. the other is some sort of Fleshlight masturbation sleeve, Love honey also has those covered for you. Once you have a good prostate orgasm you will be free for some time of sexual urges which will help you focus better at providing the love and support your Wife needs at the time she needs it the most.

    BTW do not be a **removed** buy your Wife some toys and plenty of lube as well for her solo sessions. Take the time to wrap them like they are presents and even give her a I was thinking of you card. And explain in the card that these toys are to make her life a little better for when she has the need yet not the desire for intercourse or sex with you. Let her know in the card that you are willing to use these toys on her without getting anything back in return if she wants that.

    I am providing a link to a Youtuber that has made some life changes like I am suggesting to you and he and his wife is happier than ever. This guy took his extra energy and started creating youtube videos of him doing capentry work which was his passion and now makes great money at it and is living a life many of us only dream about. If you enjoy finacial freedom and the security that comes with surplus expendable income, the security you feel will be felt by everyone in your family which can seriously effect how secure everyone especially the Mother of your children feels as well.

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC06fO6LNH_AUgjbmqaZRV5Q

    Another helpful tip is to learn something about your Wife each day, ecourage her to share what really makes her tick, Find out what she likes and does not like in your current relationship. Do what you can to fix what you can, but understand many things are beyond your or anyones control.

    Most Women want their feelings validated and for their mate to show compassion yet not try solve their problem.

    If she confides in you about an issue she is having the worst thing you could do is offer up a good suggestion that could solve the problem easliy, because that would invailidate her feelings making her feel worse. so unless she ask for help solving the problem do not solve it just show understanding and compassion and listen carefully to each and every word.

    If you give the suggestions I mentioned and the relationship and intimate incounters do not improve you may have to seek professional help if she is willing. If she is not willing to better the relationship she does not deserve you.

    So pull up your boots tighten your belt and prepare for a long potentialy fun ride that should make you learn more about yourself and the ones you care about.

    I have found when ever the universe seems to be plotting against what I think I want, it is because it is trying to provide me with something so much better than I could have tried to obtain on my own.

    1510942821

    [suspended user]

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    I got a email from Lovehoney BOT that monitors our post, It miss took the word Jerk as I was attacking the OP of this thread. and I was given a warning over this.

    What I typed in no way was intended to be taken as a personal attack in any way shape or form.

    In the future I will try and choose my words more carefully, as my intentions are only meant to be helpful and sincere.

    This being said anyone that reads what I wrote would not think for a second that I was making a personal attack.

    This BOTs warning and actions against me and my post should have been brought to a moderators attention for review then perhaps a email to me showing me the error in my ways.

    But whatever I guess no good deed go unpunished.

    This is the email I received.

    Hi There,

    It has come to Bot’s attention that you have recently posted a duplicate post, commented in the incorrect area and have also made a personal attack towards a forum member by calling him a jerk.

    Please take a moment to re-read the http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/forum-rules/ and refrain from doing this in future. It may be an idea to read back your posts before submitting them to the forum.

    This is your first warning.

    Thank you for your understanding. Bot exists to make the Lovehoney forums a safer place for all who use them.

    -Bot.

    1510969500
    bonjohn [sign in to see picture]
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    4Uonly wrote:

    Hi, may ask you a blunt question? Apology if it hurts.
    Is she afraid of getting pregnant again? I have a gf (late 30) after giving birth to 2 children stops sex altogether. Of course the couple can use condoms but it's against their religious beliefs. Therefore not having sex is the best solution. I'm sure there are other reasons, religion is just an example. Think there are more than meeting the eyes.

    RachelWelsh hi thanks for the reply. we both dont want anymore child that is why we always use comdoms

    1510969880
    bonjohn [sign in to see picture]
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    ea outlaw !!

    hi

    I'm only replying to it post as i think its totally wrong.

    I always put my OH and children first i work longs hour's and when im not working my decorating our new "for ever home" and if im not doing that it's school runs or after school clubs as well as doing thing with the OH. so please don't say that i NEED to put them first and forget about myself i think that's crap everyone needs to think about themselves now and again.

    I'm going to be honest and say i didn't even read all of your post at it peed me off to even bother.

    1511000750
    Wight*goddess [sign in to see picture]
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    Bonjohn, I've been the female in this exact position. From the moment I conceived my first child my sex drive just stopped. We'd been very active up until then but I was busy making a baby and didnt notice things tail off. After no1 was born I eventually got back to occasionally accepting sex (once a month or two...). No2 was conceieved as planned and again everything stopped.

    By the time no2 was nearly 5, I was resenting sex. I would wait to come to bed after OH was sleeping, I would freeze the moment he came near me to hug or kiss or touch me. I hated birthdays, anniversaries, valentines etc because the obligation felt massive. He wasnt pushing and I knew my resistance was unfair to him. All other aspects of life were normal, we were a happy family and everything else was great. It wasnt about school runs and putting bins out. There were no hints to anyone that we were sexually split.

    One night I was about to tell OH we needed to split up when instead I asked him if he could remember when we'd last kissed. Neither of us could, even celebrating the birth of our babies I'd only let him kiss my cheek. We'd lost all forms of physical contact. We kissed then, slowly built up to making out like teenagers. Over a period of time (weeks not days), we slowly picked up. 14 months on we have had the most amazing year in bed (and now boast two toyboxes and a case of lingery)

    It can happen, but it does take work, acceptance and effort from both sides. The hardest thing I can suggest, and I know you probably already do this, but dont pressure her. Even an arm round me in bed wasnt welcome.

    Good luck, I hope you both get the result you need.

    1511006883

    [suspended user]

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    I am sorry for my emotional response to your negitve post.

    Yet I am upset that I spent over a few hours trying my best to pick and choose my words carefully with only one thought in my mind which was to try and offer usefull help.

    I tried my best in my long post to assure you that the situation I was speaking of was based on very little information, what I wrote was based my own life experiances and divorce I even mentioned this may not apply to you or your situation.

    Yet the resources and tips I suggested I feel could help.

    I am sorry if my words did not flow through my finger tips as they are in my head, I am not the best writer. But I am a good person that just wanted to help.

    Yet the resources I provided and tips I offered are still very helpful for anyone in your postion.

    If I had this information years ago I am sure I would still be with my First Wife and my Son today.

    Please take the time to read my post, but please read it and then decide if any of the tips or resources I mentioned could help.

    And yes I completley agree you need and deserve love effection and sex.

    All of this would have been a non issue if you had just read the entire post.

    Come on why shoot my help down without seeing what I had to say.

    Try and read my post like it was written for someone else then if any of my tips helped great if not I will continue to be here for you as a sounding board and a friend you did not know you had at least.

    1511036599
    bonjohn [sign in to see picture]
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    Wight*goddess wrote:

    Bonjohn, I've been the female in this exact position. From the moment I conceived my first child my sex drive just stopped. We'd been very active up until then but I was busy making a baby and didnt notice things tail off. After no1 was born I eventually got back to occasionally accepting sex (once a month or two...). No2 was conceieved as planned and again everything stopped.

    By the time no2 was nearly 5, I was resenting sex. I would wait to come to bed after OH was sleeping, I would freeze the moment he came near me to hug or kiss or touch me. I hated birthdays, anniversaries, valentines etc because the obligation felt massive. He wasnt pushing and I knew my resistance was unfair to him. All other aspects of life were normal, we were a happy family and everything else was great. It wasnt about school runs and putting bins out. There were no hints to anyone that we were sexually split.

    One night I was about to tell OH we needed to split up when instead I asked him if he could remember when we'd last kissed. Neither of us could, even celebrating the birth of our babies I'd only let him kiss my cheek. We'd lost all forms of physical contact. We kissed then, slowly built up to making out like teenagers. Over a period of time (weeks not days), we slowly picked up. 14 months on we have had the most amazing year in bed (and now boast two toyboxes and a case of lingery)

    It can happen, but it does take work, acceptance and effort from both sides. The hardest thing I can suggest, and I know you probably already do this, but dont pressure her. Even an arm round me in bed wasnt welcome.

    Good luck, I hope you both get the result you need.

    hi thank you for replying. I feel thats how my OH is at part. when we were trying for our 2nd child it was fun and we both enjoyed it and just let it happen when it happens but like you after that it has gone the same way as yourself. even now when i get home from work and into bed she automatically rolls round the other side. I never pressure her about it all. I've give her time and space and even tried to not touch/kiss her or anything just to see if she noticed that i have stopped but she didn't say a word. for about 3weeks or so I kept this up but nothing. I do hope we can sort this and talk about it as it's the only part in our relationship I would like to be better.
    1511037739
    Wight*goddess [sign in to see picture]
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    My personal belief was that my body was telling me it had done it's job. Babies had been made and I didn't *need* sex anymore. I know now that there is a much more emotional need than I considered before.

    I never realised how many others have this problem before I joined LH. It helps to know I'm not the only one. I hope your partner can open up to you and you can work though things together.

    1511093773
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 201
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    bonjohn wrote:

    ea outlaw !!

    hi

    I'm only replying to it post as i think its totally wrong.

    I always put my OH and children first i work longs hour's and when im not working my decorating our new "for ever home" and if im not doing that it's school runs or after school clubs as well as doing thing with the OH. so please don't say that i NEED to put them first and forget about myself i think that's crap everyone needs to think about themselves now and again.

    I'm going to be honest and say i didn't even read all of your post at it peed me off to even bother.

    I second that..
    1511094074
    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 201
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    And my kids are 23yrs and 32yrs and still causing problems between me and the wife

    1511122532
    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1476
    • Joined: 12 Oct 2017

    Cap54 wrote:

    And my kids are 23yrs and 32yrs and still causing problems between me and the wife

    You're not alone there,Cap54 - my 27 and 21 year old don't even live at home - but still cause problems between us!! And as for the 25 year old manchild still living at home... lets not even go there!!!

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