1. Fwb exclusive or not

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    Saucy Sarah [sign in to see picture]
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    I know there are some posts about fwb but nothing much recent and wanted the current members views.

    so I have known this guy about three months we meet up every now and then for sex we have both said we don't want a relationship he told me his lives with the mother of their child and has not been with her for three years and they are separated stay in same house for financial reasons.

    so then he starts talking about threesomes which I have never done but am a bit curious.

    i have told him that I want a set up between casual and serious as in not full on move in etc but just see each other when it suits I suppose I assumed that meant exclusive.

    he has since told me he has met another woman online and has slept with her as well as also has another fwb who lives abroad who sends him videos etc.

    my point is he still wants to see me but not sure that is what I want anymore we don't live near each other so no chance or me seeing the other woman.

    my main question is are fwb supposed to be with the one person or is it acceptable to see many people at the same time ??

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi - I can only offer an opinion as it is not a situation I have been in.

    So for what it's worth I think this is something that should be discussed and agreed on at the beginning. It may not be a conventional bf/gf relationship, but it is still a relationship in my view, and mutual respect is still important.

    That's it - that's what I think.

    Xxx

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with LNT......you really need to discuss what you both want/expect from this situation. To be honest though as neither of you have made any kind of commitment to each other I don't really see why either, or both, of you shouldn't be having sex with other partners. Seeing each just when it 'suits' to me means just that and if it doesn't suit at a particular time then I guess you have to accept that he will be having sex with others xx

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    ToGildALily [sign in to see picture]
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    It's something that has to be made clear from the start and if anybody wants to change something in the relationship they should say before doing whatever they want.

    There are practical reasons for wanting to have exclusivity, STIs being the main one unless all have been checked and get checked regularly.

    1510866544
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    Hi - I can only offer an opinion as it is not a situation I have been in.

    So for what it's worth I think this is something that should be discussed and agreed on at the beginning. It may not be a conventional bf/gf relationship, but it is still a relationship in my view, and mutual respect is still important.

    That's it - that's what I think.

    Xxx

    Precisely this ^^^ and if the dynamic changes at any point, you should mutually agree whether you want to continue! 'just fwb' or not, I'd want to know if my friend had slept with someone else in the meantime, even more so if it was unprotected :)
    1510867055
    Senator [sign in to see picture]
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    One thing I have learned on here, there "normal" is very subjective, so long as you are happy to roll with whatever situation, and you are being safe, then all power to you.

    It does sound a bit though from your post that your wants/needs might have changed and as well as physical satisfaction, you are also looking for emotional satisfaction, even if you don't want the labels that go with it(?)

    talk openly and honestly and see where that takes you

    1510871455
    Saucy Sarah [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi thanks for your suggestions

    I have told him I'm not sure that I want to continue now it s not that I want an emotional connection with him I m just not sure that I can sleep with him knowing that he might be comparing me to the others and also the whole sharing thing tbh.

    i will see what happen she he didn't want to actually talk to me on the phone so it is mainly through text messages.

    It s all been spontaneous last minute meet ups so little discussion beforehand.

    I think deep down I can't handle open situations and would prefer exclusive even if it s not a full on relationship as far as he has said all parties are safe in sex but who knows.

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Saucy Sarah wrote:

    Hi thanks for your suggestions

    I have told him I'm not sure that I want to continue now it s not that I want an emotional connection with him I m just not sure that I can sleep with him knowing that he might be comparing me to the others and also the whole sharing thing tbh.

    i will see what happen she he didn't want to actually talk to me on the phone so it is mainly through text messages.

    It s all been spontaneous last minute meet ups so little discussion beforehand.

    I think deep down I can't handle open situations and would prefer exclusive even if it s not a full on relationship as far as he has said all parties are safe in sex but who knows.

    I wish you well with whatever you decide, but to be honest it does sound like you are on different pages.

    Hugs hun xx

    1510872159
    Saucy Sarah [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks loving new toys

    you are probably right

    time to move on I feel I m also very intuitive and get a feeling something is not truthful about him and his home situ so think I m best off out of it all for now .

    1510872195
    Saucy Sarah [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks loving new toys

    you are probably right

    time to move on I feel I m also very intuitive and get a feeling something is not truthful about him and his home situ so think I m best off out of it all for now .

    1510872314
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Saucy Sarah wrote:

    Thanks loving new toys

    you are probably right

    time to move on I feel I m also very intuitive and get a feeling something is not truthful about him and his home situ so think I m best off out of it all for now .

    Go with your gut sweetie xx

    1510874037
    Saucy Sarah [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks I will no worries x xx

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    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with Terri JJ. If you didn't agree to exclusivity at the beginning then he hasn't done anything wrong however as LNT has said you need to be happy and if him sleeping with others is not what you want then this needs discussing.

    Also I have to say this, and I'm not trying to be out of order, how sure are you that he and the mother of his child are just living in the same house?

    1510906714
    Couple looking to spice things up [sign in to see picture]
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    Every relationship is different. I see nothing wrong with FWB being exclusive or not. I would have cleared up which category we'd chosen before hand though. Obviously I can see this is not an option for you as you're already in the FWB relationship but if it's no longer working for you I'd recommend mentioning your concerns to the other party.

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    [suspended user]

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    I have always felt the point of FWBs is that you don't know too much about each other's lives.

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    Saucy Sarah [sign in to see picture]
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    Browncoats wrote:

    I agree with Terri JJ. If you didn't agree to exclusivity at the beginning then he hasn't done anything wrong however as LNT has said you need to be happy and if him sleeping with others is not what you want then this needs discussing.

    Also I have to say this, and I'm not trying to be out of order, how sure are you that he and the mother of his child are just living in the same house?

    Thanks for your comments.

    i think that maybe you could be right browncoats r e the mother of his child after further thought I think that it s not for me anymore.

    how do I know how many others he is having sex with it could be the one he lives with , me this other woman I think it started off as a mutual arrangement but now I don't want the same anymore,

    although we did get on very well as friends I think it s time to move on I feel that I am worth more than being someone's many and would rather be exclusive whether it fwb or a relationship.

    it is safer and less complicated

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    Saucy Sarah [sign in to see picture]
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    We did not discuss exclusivity at the beginning maybe I thought we were Andy he obviously had other ideas

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    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm glad we have all helped but I think you knew what you wanted deep down.

    The problem is that without setting out clear rules at the beginning neither of you have done anything wrong but one of you has got hurt 😢

    1511030274
    Saucy Sarah [sign in to see picture]
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    Well I m not exactly heartbroken lol I suppose it s a learning curve for the future

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    delilahxx [sign in to see picture]
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    I've had a few FWB's realtionships in the past and they've always been non exclusive.

    But I agree it's something to agree upon at the start.

    Move onwards and upwards :)

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