1. Newly experimenting in Sub/Dom play

    1510600555
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Apologies - this is going to be a long post!!

    A little background first. Mr LNT and I have been together for over 27 years and have, as I suspect many do, had ups and downs in our sex life. He was far more experienced than myself when we met and I, with my ongoing body image issues, have always remained pretty reserved so far as sex goes. We have been into light bondage, dressing up, anal etc for a long time, and let me tell you he gives the best oral I have ever had, but it has only been recently that I actually felt there was something else I wanted.

    To explain this better I need to tell you that I work a fairly responsible job where I have to organise and instruct up to 20 people at anyone time to get jobs done in a pretty tight timescale. So here comes the lightbulb moment - I want to be a Sub and have Mr LNT as my Dom. I want/need to relinquish ALL control over a part of my life. I need/want o be instructed/ordered in what to do. This does not however mean I want to be humiliated or degraded in any way - that is something else in my opinion.

    Trying to rationalise this in my own head and then having to have the conversation with Mr LNT was a very hard hurdle to jump - in fact I think I freaked him out somewhat! However, the conversation took place and more details discussed. The hardest part was trying to explain that whatever happened during ‘play’ would in no way impact on our ‘real life’ relationship.

    I asked Mr LNT if he thought it was something he could do and he agreed to give it a go. His concerns were he didn’t want to hurt me either physically or emotionally, because he loves me - but I was asking for this, practically begging for him to try. So Mr LNT, now known as ‘Sir’ took his first steps to dominating me. Truthfully, our first attempt did not go brilliantly as ‘Sir’ appeared to be holding back for the previously mentioned reasons. We followed this with more discussion and listening to each other's opinions and concerns. ‘Sir’ also did some reading up on being a Dom - which came as a shock cos he doesn’t do reading!!!

    To cut a long story short our next sessions have just got better and better. He is now accepting the fact that I really want this, that I will do as I am told, and if I don’t he will punish me, and whatever happens I am not going to hold anything against him once ‘play’ is over. He also very much understands that I may need some comforting, cuddles and kisses after if our session is particularly intense. It is hard to explain, but the handing over of control just enforces for me how much I love and trust him.

    Just to add, this is not an all the time every time thing for us, but a truly delightful indulgence when ‘Sir’ decides. Now, I would also like to add that Mr LNT is also very much enjoying his new role!!

    Finally, thank you Mr LNT - I love you for understanding me xx

    1510602088
    Senator [sign in to see picture]
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    Great post LNT

    In recent weeks, Mrs Sen has been leaving the activities of our bedroom sessions up to me "stuff me with whatever you want", we probably need to talk this out more as I still hold back, not wanting to do anything she doesn't like. We also have volume control issues with three teenagers in the house so make a conscious effort to keep the noise down.

    She is also mentally drained during the week, making decisions on scheduling and organising trucks and deliveries, she says she simply doesn't want to make decisions on the weekend.

    I don't know how Dom I could be, it's just not in me, but I do aim to please.

    So pleased for you though, great stuff.

    1510604085
    ophelia-rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Congratulations LNT, glad to hear you're having fun and that you and "Sir" have been talking it out to ensure you stay safe 😊

    Letting go of all control can be so blissfully freeing. I totally get what you mean about it reinforcing how much you trust someone. For me the fact that I feel safe enough to let go of all control is a big part of what I enjoy about subbing. Knowing that I can let go of EVERYTHING and trust that I will be safe is just wonderful.

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    MK7 [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovely story. Things like this always give me more confidence to try and do such a bdsm scenario with any partner i have going forward!

    1510613324
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Senator wrote:

    Great post LNT

    In recent weeks, Mrs Sen has been leaving the activities of our bedroom sessions up to me "stuff me with whatever you want", we probably need to talk this out more as I still hold back, not wanting to do anything she doesn't like. We also have volume control issues with three teenagers in the house so make a conscious effort to keep the noise down.

    She is also mentally drained during the week, making decisions on scheduling and organising trucks and deliveries, she says she simply doesn't want to make decisions on the weekend.

    I don't know how Dom I could be, it's just not in me, but I do aim to please.

    So pleased for you though, great stuff.

    Thanks - just wanted to share and also hear other peoples experiences as it is quite a step to take especially this far into our relationship.

    I hope you can both discuss it further - you may surprise yourselves xx

    1510613428
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Ophelia-rose/MK7 - thank you xx

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    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you for sharing, and being so open LNT!

    I really enjoyed reading your post - and totally understand what you want/need - it is great to relinquish control, (especially as you have to be controling in your 'real life') and I know what you mean about the humilation thing. I like to be dominated - the whole fake/pretend rape thing, the naughty seduction - all does it for me, but not humilation, that I just can't do.

    Very pleased you're getting some of what you need now - I hope your adventures continue and just get better and better! xx

    1510619462
    ophelia-rose [sign in to see picture]
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    You're welcome xx

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    LadySpider wrote:

    Thank you for sharing, and being so open LNT!

    I really enjoyed reading your post - and totally understand what you want/need - it is great to relinquish control, (especially as you have to be controling in your 'real life') and I know what you mean about the humilation thing. I like to be dominated - the whole fake/pretend rape thing, the naughty seduction - all does it for me, but not humilation, that I just can't do.

    Very pleased you're getting some of what you need now - I hope your adventures continue and just get better and better! xx

    Thank you for your reply. I am afraid I am going to disagree with one point, it is not about 'fake/pretend rape' for me and I think perhaps some might find the terminology offensive. I am not knocking it if that is what you like, but perhaps choose words more carefully.

    My preference is more orgasm denial/forced orgasm/punishment/being given orders/being reprimanded if not obeying/even being called names.

    Xx

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    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    Hell sorry LNT andanyone else I have offended! I honestly didn't mean to offend... I suppose I mean a bit of gentle force

    My sodding brain is awful - this frontal lobe damage often causes me to say or even write stuff without thinking - no excuse really is it? But it is true, I will really really try and think before I press 'post' in future.

    I perhaps shouldn't join in in some posts that could become sensitive, or cover sensitive subjects - my use of language has become very limited - beleive it or not I had a degree in my past life but now I struggle to find the right words in most every day situations. I am now absolutely crap at any kind of abstract thinking, my motivation, planning, and even attention to tasks is almost non existent. SO...my inhibition of impulsive responses canbe very misjudged. Not saying this for sympathy...just trying to explain my terrible use of language.

    Sorry again.

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    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    LadySpider wrote:

    . SO...my inhibition of impulsive responses canbe very misjudged. Not saying this for sympathy...just trying to explain my terrible use of language.

    Sorry again.

    * wouldn't let me edit.... I meant to say my non inhibition and impulsive responses can seem very misjudged by the real thinking kind pf people.

    1510623409
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    LadySpider - please don't think I was having a go at you in any way, and please don't let my comment stop you from joining in with this or any other threads - everybody's input is valuable, and I totally understood what you were saying, but yes, sometimes wording needs to be carefully considered. You didn't offend me, but I am aware that there are fellow members who may have had traumatic experiences that would find those words 'uncomfortable'.

    Perhaps if posting regarding about a potentially sensitive subject, you could write it down beforehand and re-read before actually posting if you think this could help with language.

    I really hope to read many more posts from you in the future xx

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    I am truly sorry LadySpider - I did not mean to upset you xx

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    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey LNT - Its fine, my love - you did the right thing pointing out my bad terminology - I glad you did it!! Really not a problem and certainly no need to appologise - but thank you for doing so! xxx

    1510702625
    Quiet ones are worse! [sign in to see picture]
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    I think, my wife and I have a bit of both in us in that I like to restrain her and do whatever I wish to her, but then she likes(I think ) having me face down or up legs held wide, and her arm up my bum?

    1510706033
    KinkCouple [sign in to see picture]
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    This sounds lovely.
    You are talking and that should never stop.
    Our tastes have changed so much over the years but it's only because of open communication that we've been able to understand each others needs.
    It's important that you are both enjoying playtime.
    I hope your oh has learnt a few things he likes as well.
    Keep playing, keep talking.
    X

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    LadySpider wrote:

    Hey LNT - Its fine, my love - you did the right thing pointing out my bad terminology - I glad you did it!! Really not a problem and certainly no need to appologise - but thank you for doing so! xxx

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    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    Right back at ya, LNT <3

    1510863078
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Well it really seems I have released the beast!!! Mr LNT has taken to his Dom roll like a duck to water.

    What is becoming more apparent, even in these early stages, is that is definitely NOT all about the actual sex and punishment.

    Yesterday I received a text from 'Sir' telling me how he wished me to be dressed, how my make up should be applied, where and in what position I should be waiting for him when he returned from work. I was instructed that I was not allowed to look, or speak until he gave me permission to do so.

    I cannot explain how horny this made me - the following of his instructions and anticipation of his return, knowing I was going to please him.

    This is truly what I have been yearning for, and it would appear that we should have discussed this a long time ago!!

    Xx

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm so, so pleased and happy for you and Mr LNT....aka...'Sir'.

    Mr JJ and I have a Dom/Sub relationship and have done for many years. Although I don't work now I do literally every thing concerned with our home. Housework, washing, cleaning, cooking, organise all the money and bill payments, getting repair men in when necessary.....even putting the rubbish out. I'm not complaining at all but like you I really enjoy escaping from the responsibility and having him take complete control. It's great to empty my mind and concentrate only on what hes doing to me. We do sometimes still have vanilla sex or a session when we're both on 'equal' terms so to speak but it's the Dom/Dub that satisfies us both the most.

    This is also pretty much the same in our every day life.....but I do appreciate that it's not for everyone.

    Your story here should set an example as to the importance of communication in any relationship.....really glad you're both getting what you want/need xx

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