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  1. Bad patch but getting back to normal

    1510092649
    Reg90 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 619
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2015

    Evening all,

    Haven't been on for a while. Had problems at work which have impacted home life and relationship due to the stress and anxiety I was suffering. Trying to get back to normal in the bedroom as the anxiety just crushed my sexual side.

    Partner and I wanting to get back to our normal bedroom antics and inject some new ideas into it to bring us back together again.

    Anyone got any suggestions about good things to do to get bedroom antics back on track? We are an extremely kinky couple but my recent circumstances just exhausted me physically and emotionally.

    Any tips or ideas welcome.

    Thank you.

    1510095219
    Lady Moonstone [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 77
    • Joined: 30 Dec 2014

    Was going to ask the very same question. :) after 6 very stressful years of pregnancy issues things have finally settled and I have just realised I am not living by the calender or suffering symptoms. Sex drive has returned and it can be fun again. Hubby is into very simple things and is reluctant to even look at this site with me. Managed to introduce a bullet and told him that this helps to improve some of the sensation.

    So far I have found the best thing was to talk to hubby about the stress we had both been through and highlight that this has changed, it can be all about having fun and being close to each other.

    Going to take things right back to the very basics, using mouth and hands, looking at different lubes and finding out what we enjoy doing again. Also going to spend more time together and hopefully get an overnight away.

    Don't know if the basics is any help for you. Looking forward to getting some new ideas too. Also seen a few simple things on the forum.

    X

    1510095523
    Lovehoney - Sparkle [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 28 Mar 2014

    Hello!

    I'm really sorry to hear you had some troubles but happy to hear you are ok now :)

    I would suggest maybe something simple and not too daunting like a game! Monogamy is good as you can choose the level you want to play at (intimate, passionate & steamy) https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=662

    1510109013
    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1501
    • Joined: 12 Oct 2017

    Hey GUys

    So happy to hear you're both gettingback to normal after a dry patch - isn't it horrid when you have no sexual desire?

    @Reg90 - You could both write down stuff you enjoy or want to do on post it notes, fold and put in a jar - pull one out each time you feel frisky and then do what the note says! Or a sensual massage is always a huge turn on - for us anyway - have the toy chest close with all toys ready loaded with batteries so you can easily access them to help with the massage. Blind folded massage is fun - both of you blind-folded with lots of massage oil, a few toys scattered on the bed...then explore! Sensory deprivation of any kind can also enhance sex - blind-folded wearing ear phones with loud music playing and gagged - yes!! That one always hits the spot!

    @ Lady Moonstone - I totally understand where you're coming from, my lovely - we had a 10 year dry spot due to illness... it was quite hard to get back into the love making mode again and sex became a little awkward. An overnight stay away from home is a good idea - we had a long weekend away, lots of fun, a concert, lots of sex - we really regained our intimacy and intimacy can be so important when it comes to succesful fulfilling sex. Try giving each other long slow massages, talk to each other about sex and fantasy's during the massage or listen to some chilled out tunes, drink a glass or two of wine to get you relaxed... just enjoy each othe again without the sodding calender ruling your lives. Good look sweetheart - I hope things come right for you xx

    1510270719
    Lady Moonstone [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 77
    • Joined: 30 Dec 2014

    Hi thanks for the advice. Getting an overnight is proving difficult due to baby sitting but that's ok coz it took so long to complete our family so will happily wait.

    Have managed to get a baby sitter for a short time so we are off to watch an autumn test rugby match and I have found a perfect pair of knickers on the lovehoney site that match my kilt. Of course I will have on leggings as it gets windy in the stadium but he will know I have them on.

    That was a great idea about going a concert too as music, concerts and festivals have been a big part in our relationship since we met. I mentioned going to see a band to hubby and he seemed really enthusiastic about it but again will need to wait until we sort out the baby sitting and for a good band. He also likes the idea of ordering a take out and a night in by ourselves.

    Planning on purchasing the game the LH moderator recommended. Also thinking about the Tracy Cox bunny ears to use both together but will wait until it's on sale or deal of the day, it's a bit much to spend just to experiment and it's also out of stock

    X

    1510304524
    Cutecountrygirl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
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    • Joined: 9 Sep 2017

    I feel your pain, we are also undergoing a very difficult period in our sex lives, things were improving but for a few medical reasons they have take a dive and we had to start at the bottom all over again.

    1510872946
    Reg90 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 619
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2015

    Well... Thought I'd share how we have put the sparkle back in the bedroom. We have just started sexting and sending naughty pics throughout the day. Even some from different rooms to get us randy for the bedroom. We have also turned up our intimacies in the bedroom. Our bad patch is slowly getting better.

    Thanks for your help and encouragement guys.

    Hope cute Countrygirl and Lady Moonstone things are improving for you. X

    1510873081
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 16 Jan 2016

    Reg90 wrote:

    Well... Thought I'd share how we have put the sparkle back in the bedroom. We have just started sexting and sending naughty pics throughout the day. Even some from different rooms to get us randy for the bedroom. We have also turned up our intimacies in the bedroom. Our bad patch is slowly getting better.

    Thanks for your help and encouragement guys.

    Hope cute Countrygirl and Lady Moonstone things are improving for you. X

    Good to see you back posting xx

    Glad you are getting back in the swing of things hun xxx

    1510874829
    Quiet ones are worse! [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1450
    • Joined: 24 Jun 2012

    Whilst not directly helpful, how about a weekend away just the two of you, and leave your phones at home or at least switched off? Doesn't have to be far away either?

    1510875355
    Reg90 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
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    • Joined: 28 Jul 2015

    Thanks LNT.

    Quiet ones are worse! We have done a few date nights. Would love a weekend away but have no childcare unforuntately.

    1511138218
    Lady Moonstone [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 77
    • Joined: 30 Dec 2014

    lovingnewtoys wrote:

    Reg90 wrote:

    Well... Thought I'd share how we have put the sparkle back in the bedroom. We have just started sexting and sending naughty pics throughout the day. Even some from different rooms to get us randy for the bedroom. We have also turned up our intimacies in the bedroom. Our bad patch is slowly getting better.

    Thanks for your help and encouragement guys.

    Hope cute Countrygirl and Lady Moonstone things are improving for you. X

    Good to see you back posting xx

    Glad you are getting back in the swing of things hun xxx

    Awww that's great things have improved. Things have got better for us too. We had a talk about what we both needed. For a long time the end purpose of sex was a baby. At first it was fun but then all the enjoyment went out of it as the focus was pregnancy, following the calender, reading tests, disappointment, worry and stress. It paid off and we have our happy ending. After all this time we have forgotten about the fun, enjoyment and intimacy. I had a look at some of the threads on the LH forum for ideas and it was a total light bulb moment. There were very very basic things I had forgotten all about that we both use to enjoy. We still don't get much time on our own but I can't complain about it because of how hard we worked to complete our family. We are going to an event next week and have a baby sitter who has now offered to take the kids overnight. I had planned to ware some LH underware underneath my jeans. I have never worn anything like this before but it's turning out to be a bit of a disaster. First of all in my hurry to place the order I ordered the wrong size. Then I went to the same venue yesterday with a friend and it was so cold I will literally freeze my bum off next week if I ware what I was planning on (and that's under jeans) I had tried the texting too it's not had the results I wanted but it's still positive. Hubby will either ignore the texts (not good) or we end up sending messages using emojes or daft pictures which are funny and make us laugh, which I now realise wasn't happening that often either. I have started ordering a few more things from LH but I am now worried that I may becoming a bit addicted to the LH underware. That's another good thing although hubby hadn't seen the underware on he appeared intrested in it and actually looked at some of it I showed him on the webpage. I haven't done it yet but from here I plan to show him some other stuff saying ohh look at this it seems interesting and it's on offer. Thanks everyone for the advice and for all the old posts that reminded me of the basics. X
    1511138628
    Lady Moonstone [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    Hi all sorry for the big long post above. I had put it all in paragraphs but for some reason it's all ran together. Went back and edited it to break it up but unfortunately it's still running together for some reason :(

    1511568466
    Lady Moonstone [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 30 Dec 2014

    Well got to say the black Friday sale has certainly helped. Hubby actually looked at LH and picked out a dress for me. He was surprised too as he didn't really bother about the underware before coz he is happy for me to take it off. Not told him about the other purchases just yet or the ones I hope to get if they go on sale together (even more discount) hoping it comes tomorrow as it's our first time without the kids overnight.

    1511593463
    teacake [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 24 Oct 2011

    Things have been very difficult for us aswell so i know to well how things can be, i think its starting to get back on track again just by taking time out for ourselves sending sexy letters to each other things like that.

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