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  1. What do you wish you'd known about sex before going to uni?

    Lovehoney - Sammi Cole [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 1 Oct 2015

    Hey everyone, 

    As you're probably aware, Lovehoney are doing some fantastic work with students on not only the basics of sex education (how to put on a condom, etc), but also on how to make sex more enjoyable. 

    With this in mind, we're looking to get some quotes on what graduated students (of any age) wish they'd known about sex before they headed off to uni. 

    For example, I wish I'd known/realised that attempting something for the first time when you're drunk is probably not going to end well...

    Thanks for your help!

    Lovehoney - Cheekbones [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 190
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2015

    I wish I had known that it is okay to communicate to your partner and ask them to adjust what they're doing for your pleasure. (This sounds so obvious now I am typing it out...)

    I found that it is assumed that when you go to uni you're going to have loads of sexual encounters and it's going to be great but in reality, a drunken hookup with that guy you met at the student union isn't always as fulfilling as expected. Communication is just as important in casual sex as it is in long-term relationships to ensure both participants are getting the best out of their experience - even if it's just for the one night.

    That leads on to - it's more than okay to use lube. I feel that there is a stigma amongst young women to suggest using lube with a new partner for fear of being judged that you're not turned on enough but lubes just make everything more comfortable. They make sex feel better for both participants!

    LittleNickiKitty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 22 Aug 2016

    I wish I had known that there’s loads of people that use sex toys and it is okay. I was away from my boyfriend at university and I hated it I thought I was the only one who had a few sex toys at the time to “compensate.” I think sex toys and are a very taboo subject still they seem to have a lot of negative connotations about using them when you’re young etc. But it turns out there’s loads of people that use them and it is normal and you know what, it’s bloody fun too.

    There was definitely a lot of connotations about sex toys I found and I think there definitely still is. I think more effort needs to be made about the subject really just to show that they’re perfectly acceptable. I still know people today that think the idea of using sex toys as a couple is wrong and it means their partner isn’t good enough etc. That is totally not the case and I think sometimes a lot of young students have very tunnel vision. (Just in my personal experience. )

    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 513
    • Joined: 1 May 2016

    I wish I had known basic female anatomy of the vagina. Had a girlfriend teach me after a couple years in uni, before then I must have been a terrible lover lol.

    October08 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 27 Apr 2017

    I wish I had known that my female friends masturbated too.

    Starting uni I was so conscious of what they might hear coming from my room or might find in a draw. I hadn't discussed the subject with anyone before and wasted so much time worrying about it when it turns out the vast majority of them do, and now we even discuss toys and tips.

    It's important to know your body. By knowing how to make yourself orgasm, it can significantly improve sex with a partner. You can comunicate what works and therefore make it much more fun and intimate. 

    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2207
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2005

    I wish I knew that not every other man is packing a pornstar penis and that not every girl has a barbie vagina. Also that it’s okay to shave your bits if your male, a lot of people really pushed that having body hair and hairy balls was the thing to do and I felt weird being totally waxed/shaved.

    Another thing is not everyone is the cleanest after the club and we do all have weird smells from all over our bodies, to which it’s not a bad thing to suggest a quick freshen up before getting into the heat of things!
    To add to the last one is to really never go back to front on a lady as this can cause major issues, the same as using the same condom if your having a threesome or moresome.

    Emotionally I really did wish I was stronger too, I seemed to be falling In love when everyone else just wanted to bunk up and have a one night stand, it’s not wrong to keep yourself away from one night stands but sometimes it can be difficult to get close to someone and have and amazing night to never speaking to them again.

    LadiesMan [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
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    • Joined: 9 Sep 2008

    Before I went to uni - I had no idea about fetishes. I just thought that my thoughts and turn ons were weird. But near the end of my first year, my computer room was quiet and I stumbled across a fetish website that changed my life. I all of a sudden felt normal and that all the feelings I had locked up inside was not just me feeling these thoughts.

    I still tried to hide my feelings and fetishes, which now in hindsight I wish I had just embraced them. But then this was 20 years ago so hardly the age of fetlife and forums like that, and I was very very inexperienced.

    Lu SB [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1186
    • Joined: 4 Mar 2017

    I wish I were confident enough to take the initiative of having sex with someone without feeling guilty. I've had a fair share of sexual encounters during uni, but sometimes even though I really fancied someone I was kind of sending signals and waiting for them to take the lead. Somehow the thing with the woman coming out in the open and saying she wanted to have sex was frowned upon and I think that's absolutely ridiculous. I've somehow got a reputation and this was absolutely unfair, because I was single, responsible and safe, so who cares if I slept with a lot of people? Lesson learnt and at least I've a lot of tips and advice to give my daughter when it's her turn.

    нинаnin [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 600
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2016

    I went as a mature student, so my university experience was a little different (and still is).

    I wish I had no preconceptions about student life. I thought university would be a time for freedom, opportunities and excitement. I imagined I'd walk in nerdy and leave as a sex goddess, brimming with sass.

    Truth was that university was the biggest culture shock and I spent years feeling like I was in the wrong place.

    While I do think university is a great opportunity for sexual experience, there's also a whole lot of other stuff going on. So maybe let's not beat ourselves up if we are struggling at this time.

    ophelia-rose [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 203
    • Joined: 1 Aug 2013

    I wish I'd known that female masturbation isn't shameful!
    I wish I'd known how to satisfy my own sexual needs so that I didn't feel like I needed somebody else. It would have made my relationships feel a lot more comfortable and safe for me if I hadn't felt reliant on my partners.
    I wish I'd known that you can make solo sex a special and exciting act in itself, and that I had known more about sex toys and that it was okay to use them.
    Oh also, I wish I'd known more about squirting! That was quite a surprise when it first happened, and I was afraid I had just wet myself!

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