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  1. What am i doing wrong?

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    loopyfrank [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 30 Oct 2017

    My husband and i have been married 24 years. We have a fantatsic sex life but did have a recent sticky patch. I know my husband had enjoyed watching porn and i have been trying to spice things up and trying new things (like Anal sex) At the weekend i suggested after sex that he finished off and cum on my face. after doing this he became upset and said it felt wrong as he loved me and i am his wife. He admitted enjoying watching Bukkake but that he did not know or love these women..am i doing something wrong?!

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7001
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    You didn't do anything wrong.

    It's not uncommon for people to have fantasies about things they've imagined or seen in porn to not want to act them out in their sex life. It's definitely not uncommon to try out a fantasy and feel bad afterwards.

    He may have wanted to try this with you at your request but felt guilty afterwards as he felt as though it was disrespectful to you. Getting off to it in porn is different as he doesn't know or care about those people. Therefore he feels no disrespect.

    Sometimes it is better to leave certain things as fantasies. Not every fantasy needs to be turned into reality. It doesn't always live up to the expectations. That doesn't mean either of you did anything wrong. You just discovered that this is something he isn't comfortable acting upon in reality. That's totally fine.

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    BigInBerks [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 282
    • Joined: 21 Aug 2017

    Well put by NatandTom.

    By all means introduce new things, try them out to see what you enjoy as a couple. If they don't work (and many won't for various reasons) then move on to new things and revert back to acts you enjoy.

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    KinkyMinxMoo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6063
    • Joined: 20 Nov 2013

    +1 on what NatandTom said, spot on!

    Think of threesomes as an example, very very common fantasy. The reality does work for lots of people but doesn't work for most; even if the (unsuspecting) partner suggested it or it was agreed by and up for by both parties... Doesn't mean that they won't watch porn about it or think about it but that is where it is better left for them.

    It sounds like he has a great amount of respect for you which is a good thing although we can understand why you may feel that it is more personal / negative.

    Bottom line, you are doing nothing wrong :)

    (Disclaimer: I'm sure you all know what I am trying to say and this is perhaps unnecessary but I see how it reads so just incase, I am not kink shaming anyone for what they do or don't do, nor am I saying that if you do that to a partner then you don't respect them.)

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    Funlover69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 450
    • Joined: 28 Jan 2017

    When I first met my husband we divulged lots of sexual experiences that we had enjoyed prior to meeting one another.I had on one occasion enjoyed an unplanned MMF threesome.
    Although my husband often asked me to bring it up in detail during sex we never considered taking part in one.It was something best left in my past when single and enjoyed as a fantasy for us as a couple.The real thing can often be an anti-climax or just not work out in reality.

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    Senator [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 260
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2017

    What appeals visually when watching porn (or other erotic material) involving no one of particular consequence or emotional attachment is a whole different kettle of fish from being intimate with someone with an emotional attachment. I am still working on enjoying my OH as a "dirty girl" rather than as the love of my life (not saying she isn't both, but to go from one to the other is different for me).

    If there is something that you and / or your partner have seen in porn that either of you want to try, best to talk about it before hand, what is going to happen, then after the event, talk about what worked and what didnt work. It needs to be clear at the get go, all answers are acceptable, and activities can stop at a moments notice by either party with no hard feelings.

    Perhaps a facial may have been a step too far for "fantasy fulfillment'?

    Perhaps over your breasts / ass etc as a variation from the norm?

    Either way, words of encouragement will go a long way to easing any feelings of guilt on his part (if its something you want to do)

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    MaskedSeus [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 29 Oct 2017

    Nothing wrong at all, i watch allot of random stuff that some of it i would not tell my GF about at all and we share pretty much everything in life. Porn end of the day is porn , its just required sometimes in life. Its the fallback , good description i dont have at this time. Its like its hard coded into men to watch it now and again.

    Ask if he wants to watch it with you, masturbate him while you watch , ask him to do you. Might work well =)

    Get some "Alpha France" Films and work thru them, me and my mrs loved them =)

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