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  1. Confused

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    Deeham37 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 29 Oct 2017

    Hi not sure if I should end my relationship with my boyfriend of 5 month's because of different sex drive's,we each other one a week but don't think he even likes sex that much only makes the first move when he's had a drink doesn't like giving oral,he was a late starter am his first girlfriend and lover but am not feeling the passion from him says he fancies me but I can lie narked and nothing happened

    1509305221
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 24 Oct 2012

    Sounds like he's lacking in confidence rather than that he doesn't like sex. If he was a virgin before he got with you that means he's only been having sex for 5 months at a rate of once per week, that's not enough time to build much confidence and to be honest I think it would be harsh to end the relationship based on sexual performance when he's barely had time to learn the ropes. There's a big difference between him not initiating and him not enjoying sex with you, does he seem into it once you get things started? As for giving oral sex, has he ever done that before? Because he could well be avoiding it to avoid being embarrassed by doing it wrong.

    If he's making you happy and fulfilled in other areas of your relationship I would accept that you'll need to take the lead until he finds his feet and give him time and some gentle guidance to build his sexual confidence. If you're not happy in other respects as well, I'd end things without mentioning the sex. You don't want to crush what little confidence he has!

    1509306950
    Deeham37 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 29 Oct 2017

    It's not about his performance in bed or even the oral he has tried but says he's doesn't like it,I just feel like he's not into me sexually and am feeling rejected most of the time making me feel unattractive,I don't put any pressure on him I leave him at his own pace as he wants it.

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    naughty stacey [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    • Joined: 28 Aug 2012

    My hubby stopped making the first move for a while, apparently I wasn't responding to his signals (Ididn't even know he was keen!) and he was taking no response as rejection. Apparently it took a few months before it wore him down.

    1509312365
    Deeham37 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 29 Oct 2017

    Trust me the only signals getting and being told is he's not big on affection and that's just him

    1509312879
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    Deeham37 wrote:

    It's not about his performance in bed or even the oral he has tried but says he's doesn't like it,I just feel like he's not into me sexually and am feeling rejected most of the time making me feel unattractive,I don't put any pressure on him I leave him at his own pace as he wants it.

    Have you spoke to him about how this is making you feel?

    If yes and nothing has changed, then I may reconsider the relationship as you both deserve to be with someone who's on the same wavelength and has similar needs and desires.

    Side question: Does he masturbate? If he does, does he do it often? I'm just wondering if death grip could be a possible explanation as to why he doesn't like sex. If he masturbates in the same way each time then it may be the only thing that feels good to him now.

    1509316543
    Deeham37 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 29 Oct 2017

    Have spoken to him before says he fancies me but thinks he has lower sex drive but we only see each other one's week( but problems staying hard and feels insecure makes the first moves and most interested in sex after drinking but never can come after drinking in the morning we have sex and he comes quicker

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