1. Is this wrong??

    Mind_the_Gap [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 99
    • Joined: 24 Sep 2017

    I've been separated from my partner for a while now. I still have feelings for her and hope we can rekindle relationship in the future. If we can't then so be it.

    However recently I have found me looking through pictures that we took together and pictures that she sent me! Some of the more personal ones and I don't mean full nudity ones are making me think of what we had. Now I'm embarrassed to admit that I've actually been masturbating to them and I feel really guilty that I achieve orgasm over them. Am I over thinking this issue or is this an invasion of her privacy and should I delete?

    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6014
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    I personally would have asked a partner to delete any such images during the break up as I'd feel it was an invasion if we were no longer together. Think of it like this, would she be uncomfortable with it if she knew? If the answer is yes, then delete them

    Zephron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 287
    • Joined: 24 Jun 2016

    You say you still have feelings for her, and it's still understandable. Youve shared good and bad times, and seen each other through various things.

    As long as you reaise that that might be as far as it goes. I still think about old lovers/partners,and still realise that it's just a memory, and doesnt mean that she still feels the same as (was then) many moons ago.

    Are these pictures physical, or something like on a pc/phone. Could you store them somewhere where you couldn't easily access them, to take away this temptation etc? if it's bothering you that much, but I'd say dont sweat it, your bound to still think of them anyway.

    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2647
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Irrespective of whether it's right or not, the more you do this, the harder you are going find it to finally let go of her. I would hate for it to drive you to become obssesive towards getting her back. That's not a road you want to travel; let go of her, delete the pics, and try to move on, what you are doing is bad for your mental well being, and in the wrong direction.

    Personally it would freak me out, even frighten me, if I found out that an ex was doing this, I would be scared of where it would go next; constant pestering to get back together being only the least of it.

    Lu SB [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1189
    • Joined: 4 Mar 2017

    I think the fact that you feel guilty afterwards, gives a hint of what your opinion on the matter is. Personally I don't think that you're invading her privacy, but you're making things very hard for yourself in terms of moving on. Rationally you believe that what you're doing it's nor right hence your guilt, but emotionally you still very much conected to her and so your reason just goes out of the window. I agree with Alicia when she says you should let go of your ex as this is not healthy for you and her. I know that's hard but you need to delete these pics.

    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 515
    • Joined: 1 May 2016

    If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does it make a sound? The question IMO is does it bother you? If it does then stop. I would also ask if it will be an obstacle for you getting back with her if that became possible, either mentally for you, or would she be upset if she found out, afterall, dishonesty and omission is not a good foundation for a relationship. If its over over, and you want to have a wank to some porn you made together I dont see a problem with that personally so long as it is actually harmless. Ive know a few women who would be flattered believe it or not, and one or two who literally would not care at all so without knowing who you speak of its impossible to advise more, I dont think it is necessarily an imorale thing to do though.

    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2461
    • Joined: 11 Apr 2016

    A feeling of guilt usually signals that you know you shouldn't be doing something. I think deep down you know that it's wrong.

    As for the separation, you aren't helping yourself by using their images. You're creating further a attachment, which isn't healthy. It will take longer to grieve the loss of the relationship if it really is over.

    Private_member [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 342
    • Joined: 7 Aug 2008

    From my perspective there are 3 points ...

    1. If you're not in a relationship with someone else then what is the harm in remembering enjoyable times with a previous partner? Not sure there is any difference between between memories and looking at photos.

    2. Agree that if you are feeling guilt about something then there is an issue that needs to be addressed.

    3. Not sure why remembering good times with previous partners delays moving on but ...

    Guilt seems to be the issue, you think you are doing something wrong?

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.