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  1. Sub drop

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    G-J2017 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 31
    • Joined: 8 Oct 2017

    Hi just looking for peoples experiences of this. I’ve googled and it’s explained what it is but I’d like real peoples views. I’ve experienced this a few times. Been with G 11 months. We have an amazing sex life and great communication but sometimes after a heavy play session I feel really down and tearful. G is awesome, always checks in to make sure I’m ok and treats me well after. Is there anything we can do to avoid these feelings? We’ve decided to tone it down for a while but vanilla isn’t really our style. We just seem to get too carried away in the moment and go mad! Any advice or thoughts appreciated. Thanks.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Have you googled submissiveguide.com, it does have something on how to deal with this, under the safety tab

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    G-J2017 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 31
    • Joined: 8 Oct 2017

    Alicia4Ever wrote:

    Have you googled submissiveguide.com, it does have something on how to deal with this, under the safety tab

    Hi,

    Thank you for the website, very informative and helpful!

    Thank you

    :)

    1508525671
    G-J2017 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 31
    • Joined: 8 Oct 2017

    Anyone else experience this. Would like to know it’s not just me. And will I just get used to it??

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    G-J2017 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 8 Oct 2017

    Anyone??

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    I am sorry I can't comment here to be helpful, but i would imagine others have and maybe have not seen this thread yet?

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    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2516
    • Joined: 30 Nov 2012

    Some people may not know what a Sub Drop is: I don't recall it being discussed here before/recently. 

    There have been other members who experience a big drop in mood after any sexual activity, not purely power play, so maybe they could offer some insight. 

    One thing I can say with certainty though is that, although everyone's body is individual, almost no one is completely alone when it comes to the "weird" things our body's do. Trust me when I say, you are not alone in this. 

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    G-J2017 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 31
    • Joined: 8 Oct 2017

    Thanks for your messages. I’m lucky that I can talk honestly with G and we are learning how to avoid these feelings. I’m just interested in others experiences of it.

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    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    Yep, have experienced it, and until I did, I had never even heard of it. An hour or so after being pegged for the first time, I literally broke down in the supermarket, was such an overwhelming melting pot of emotion.

    Since then, I've only experienced it a small handful of times, each time after being physically hurt.

    Aftercare is super important to minimise sub drop :)

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 12780
    • Joined: 20 Aug 2014

    Sorry..... I don't know how I missed this thread😕

    I have experienced this in the past.... usually after a particularly intense and long session. It tends to come on relatively quickly, usually within 15 mins or so after the end of play. I do occasionally still experience it but I have learned to recognise the feeling approaching. I got a tip from a partner years ago who told me to have a hot sweet drink straight after. It does seem to work and I team it up with my oh giving me a nice warm bath and gently washing me. Wrapping me in a nice , warm fluffy blanket and cuddling me works too. I actually think this prevents sub drop for me virtually every time. After care is incredibly important as Squid says. A subs body can be trained to take a fair amount of punishment but it's often forgotten how much the mind and emotions are affected too xx

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    G-J2017 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 31
    • Joined: 8 Oct 2017

    Thanks to you both. We are working on the aftercare and found that eating something helps especially chocolate!

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    kelly_michelle [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 253
    • Joined: 15 Apr 2008

    I have experienced sub drop many times and, although it is different for everyone, I have found ways to deal with it. Theses days I don’t drop all that often.

    After play care (after care) is important. Make sure you have time after your play session to sit and come back to the world without having to worry about dashing off somewhere or doing something.

    Again, different things work for different people but somethings to think about:
    Do you need time alone to reflect or do you want your partner close to you;
    Do you feel cold and need a blanket;
    Or would you like a blanket for the snuggled feeling?;
    Are you dehydrated or could you use a hot drink to help with the snuggled feeling or a cold drink to refresh you and almost wake you up;
    Do you need a snack (you have already said you have chocolate. This isn’t a bad thing but don’t have too much as you’ll simply replace sub drop with sugar drop a little later);
    Are there any gestures your partner can do that make you feel safe, secure and loved eg stroking your hair, kissing your forehead;
    Do you need to open a window to let fresh air in?;
    Do you need to hear the “real world” again;
    Do you need something to cover you, like a t shirt (of your partners) or are you happy naked or however you played?;
    Are you ok in the physical space you have just played in or do you need to move to a different room or even just to sit in a chair if you played on the bed;

    The day after a play session, I tend try and look after myself by giving myself little treats. I try to have a dinner that I really like and get a good mix of carbs and protein.

    Also, just a side note, top drop is a thing too, so speak to your partner about their needs too.

    Essentially, it is about finding what works for you and your partner.

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    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Posts: 1984
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2005

    I know in the past when I was submissive to my first partner in my early 20s I would experience this all the time. I would feel comfort in the moment and almost overwhelmed by everything going on to the point I was just being used in quite a horrible way. But then once I was out of that moment I would feel the world just crash around me. It was almost like i was entirely alone. After a few months and discussions we both came to the conclusion it was because we would snap out of the moment too quickly and my head just couldn’t handle getting back to reality so quick. It all sounds strange but maybe try a cool down session after your heavy play time, so once your done just try a bit of low level petting and kissing and try and calm down, it may be due to your feelings just getting a little overwhelmed.

    Jess pretty much nailed this in her post, but I have found with my current partner that we spend just as long coming out of a heavy play session as we do getting into the mood and it seems to work for both of us really well.

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    G-J2017 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 31
    • Joined: 8 Oct 2017

    My oh j posted this and l would like to say thanks for the informative replies and sharing of experiences,we are both in a better position to deal with and cope with the "drop"

    Thank you!

    G

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