FREE delivery when you spend £40 (or more!)
  1. Married people

    1508658750
    Kanu Suckmeov [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1266
    • Joined: 14 Dec 2014

    Ha-ha, you hit the nail right on the head! She loves her neck being kissed, lightly. I wouldn’t say it’s my starting point but once I start kissing her there, I know I am on a winner. She also loves having her nipples played with and sucked hard.

    In fact we had a session last night when we got in after a night out with friends, she thought she was in for a goodnight kiss, (as we always do) but I was going to surprise her, where I slowly and tenderly made love to her. I kissed her all over, with my hands working overtime, I won’t go through the whole session, but only to say that she is still asleep. (We are an hour in front of you, out here in Spain)

    1508663416
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 671
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    RosyCheek wrote:

    With a lot of time and effort. After a few years you end up in a routine that can end up stale and boring. To keep a spark in the bedroom, keep a spark in day to day activities. Date nights, home cooked meals, massages etc can help. Communicate with each other and just have fun.

    I'm looking forward to couples who have married for a long time, a least a decade to contribute in this thread.. https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1640081-sex-is-boredom-after-20-years-together/ Think passion comes after boredom resulting from routine is not uncommon to couples (based on my brief survey among 35 friends married for at least 10 years). Other factors that contribute to boredom is the insensitive part of our body on 2 areas. 1) tissues overstretched, damaging the collagen of our skin and creating the lost of feeling due over chewed nipples and multiple child births. Fortunately there's medical remedies for these areas. 2) the psychological mind creating a memory of routine. The power of "constant changes" in fantasies definitely help to remove it. I believe there are more... to stay passionate to each other as a couple.
    1508664860
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 671
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    Kanu Suckmeov wrote:

    Ha-ha, you hit the nail right on the head! She loves her neck being kissed, lightly. I wouldn’t say it’s my starting point but once I start kissing her there, I know I am on a winner. She also loves having her nipples played with and sucked hard.....

    For 40 years and not a routine is amazing. One lucky guy!
    1508719522
    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 385
    • Joined: 1 May 2016

    Mind altering drugs haha, just kidding. After 14 years I can honestly say it has never gone stale in the bedroom. Thats kind of how I know, I always used to get bored after a year or so with other partners.

    1508727592
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 671
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    KingGrthy wrote:

    Mind altering drugs haha, just kidding. After 14 years I can honestly say it has never gone stale in the bedroom. Thats kind of how I know, I always used to get bored after a year or so with other partners.

    That's another one lucky guy. Amazing! For the last 14 years, is there a different in the time (increase or decrease) spent together on intimacy? Hub and I used to caress and sex one another for 1½ hours or more but now has reduced to 30-45 minutes.
    1508792255
    BeautifullyChaotic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 25 Apr 2016

    Hi all,

    I am having a really bad time at the minute.

    My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years, but the sex has all but disspeared.

    I am a very hot blooded female and it just leaves me feeling rejected and frustrated. We used to be so in tune, but we don't even argue--- ever.

    We spend lots of time together and get on really well, I just don't understand where the sex has gone.

    I have spoken to him, and he doesn't see that the lack of sex (its been almost a year) is a problem, ive asked him if he would like to try anything new- hes knows im incredibly liberal with what i like in the bedroom- but i have never pushed him if hes not comfortable with stuff ive suggested.

    I have tried- hand made a treat jars for our first anniversay that included anything from a night in, to massage to sex treats/favours and he's not even opened one. I asked him about fantasies he has, he says he doesn't have any, I bought couples toys, langerie, lube, sexy games, nothing,

    Hes very affectionate in the fact that he like hugs. But that is about as far as our affection goes.

    I really don't know what else to do.

    1508815471
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 671
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    @BeautifullyChaotic, I've been deliberating on your issue for almost an hour, wrote my opinions but decided to delete them. This is b'cos I don't have a good living answer and experience. A handful of close friends chose to work on the problem together(provided he saw it as problem) and they are happy couples today. Unfortunately problem relating to sex activities were never brought up.

    Perhaps the best way is to have you showing him that there is a problem in your relationship. And having him to acknowledge the problem could be the starting point to resolve the issue together.

    BTW is your hub a devoted religious person? And do you have kids?

    1508846325
    BeautifullyChaotic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 25 Apr 2016

    4Uonly wrote:

    BTW is your hub a devoted religious person? And do you have kids?

    No hes not particularly religious and no childrens

    1508848889
    young at heart [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 27
    • Joined: 21 Mar 2011


    Maybe try relate sex counselling if it is effecting your relationship properly? Unless of course there is a reason why he is like this and its a temporary phase? good luck x

    1508850606
    N&Mc [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 264
    • Joined: 12 Dec 2014

    @Beautifully Chaotic

    The best thing to do is to talk to him about it. Explain that the lack of passion is making you feel rejected and frustrated. Maybe there's an underlying issue that needs addressing, there are a few things that could be impacting on his libido; tiredness, stress etc.

    1508869282
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 671
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    BeautifullyChaotic wrote:

    Hi all,

    I have spoken to him, and he doesn't see that the lack of sex (its been almost a year) is a problem, ive asked him if he would like to try anything new- hes knows im incredibly liberal with what i like in the bedroom- but i have never pushed him if hes not comfortable with stuff ive suggested.

    I really don't know what else to do.

    @N&Mc, she did but he did not see it as a problem. Looking at it he seems to fail to recognize that she has a sexual need. And he doesn't acknowledge it that's where the door can't be opened. Suggestion to see a sex counselor by @youngatheart may be a good choice to consider... but again that could be pushing him and he may not feel uncomfortable.
    1508870444
    BeautifullyChaotic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 25 Apr 2016

    @n&c

    I’ve talked to him on several occasions, he’s says there’s not a problem, he doesn’t feel like there’s a problem, I am honest and tell him that I am finding it a problem- he just shrugs his shoulders.
    I’ve tried other methods like talking about ultimate fantasies, and that’s an option I am willing to consider- but he says he doesn’t have one.

    He’s sporadically having to stay later at work which he’s never done before, and he’s not changed position in work at all- so now part of me is thinking is there something else going off.

    But that’s probably more because I’m feeling rejected then anything actually happening.

    I’ve tried intimacy in other ways, like massages, Just spending time with each other no sex, I’ve tried games
    He’s even “caught” me masturbating- nothing

    1508892895
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 671
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    I hate to say this... Some women have this gut feeling of "something" just isn't right. Not sure if you have that?
    I recalled on my 4th year of marriage, hub just went limp on sex and was really frustrating for me. I was all wet and ready and ended up self masturbating.
    He was a loving husband and a good father to our children and extra-marital affairs was least suspected.

    At this point, I want to apologize in advance for the continued post. I hope I'm wrong and I beg your pardon.

    A man whose conscience is not guided by a religion and without children is either having an extra-marital affair or a 3rd party has surfaced.

    I chanced on this website and I'm shocked by the article : http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2961316/Divorce-risk-highest-within-the-first-two-years-of-marriage.html

    My apology again. I'm not suggesting that you initiate a divorce. I'm trying to highlight that men cheated on their wife usually in their 1st 2 years. In my country for every 5 marriages, 3 will end up in separation (3 years mandatory requirement by law) and 2 will divorce at the end. 95% involving extra-marital affairs.

    Moderator, kindly remove my post immediately if it's not appropriate. Just don't want to hurt or offend anyone in the forum.

    1508893690
    Devoted Husband [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 88
    • Joined: 8 Jul 2016

    Married for 23 years and we find to make sure to not get caught up in the same position every time. Position pillows, bondage, pleasure games where only one is spoiled with sexual pleasure by the other, make time for each other. Naughty weekends away to spice it up. Bubble baths together. Introducing new toys all the time. Just some of the things that we do.

    1508906048
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 671
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    Devoted Husband wrote:

    Married for 23 years and we find to make sure to not get caught up in the same position every time. Position pillows, bondage, pleasure games where only one is spoiled with sexual pleasure by the other, make time for each other. Naughty weekends away to spice it up. Bubble baths together. Introducing new toys all the time. Just some of the things that we do.

    Wow! 23 years together and that's amazing. Sure! I got all tied up and what's coming next is predictable. When the ball gag is taken out of my mouth I know what is coming in next... and so on. For 2 decades both of you are having fun and are spoilt with sexual pleasure over and over (for example, the same old situations, caressing the same part of each other's body), is there any time that you find sex is routine and stale? Did both of you ever talk about this area? How did you and your partner overcame the staleness?
    1508908089
    Devoted Husband [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 88
    • Joined: 8 Jul 2016

    Just being aware of what you are doing and how often is a big part of ensuring you change it up to stop from falling into a same old position. We communicate together and consider each other’s needs at the time. Some times my OH just wants to receive oral and will give me a hand job in return, she usually calls this her starfish position. We don’t keep tabs on it we just enjoy each other. When time is on our side I will tie her up and tell her she’s not allowed to orgasm until I say so. Mean while I will tease her with toys and everything thing else I can use until she is so close that she is begging me to allow her to come. Occasionally she will put some spots of honey on certain parts of her body and I have to find them and lick and suck them off her. It’s the variety that keeps it fresh. I guess this is why it doesn’t feel like a routine as we always change it so it never feels
    Like a repetitive process. Sure we may use the same positions for a while, but we always make an effort to each other that we don’t stop with changing it to maintain the spice in life.

    1508908092
    AsYouWish! [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1697
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2012

    BeautifullyChaotic wrote:

    @n&c

    I’ve talked to him on several occasions, he’s says there’s not a problem, he doesn’t feel like there’s a problem, I am honest and tell him that I am finding it a problem- he just shrugs his shoulders.
    I’ve tried other methods like talking about ultimate fantasies, and that’s an option I am willing to consider- but he says he doesn’t have one.

    He’s sporadically having to stay later at work which he’s never done before, and he’s not changed position in work at all- so now part of me is thinking is there something else going off.

    But that’s probably more because I’m feeling rejected then anything actually happening.

    I’ve tried intimacy in other ways, like massages, Just spending time with each other no sex, I’ve tried games
    He’s even “caught” me masturbating- nothing

    Have you considered that he may be suffering from depression? It sounds like it.
    1508911381
    Irie [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 97
    • Joined: 28 Oct 2012

    4Uonly wrote:

    A man whose conscience is not guided by a religion and without children is either having an extra-marital affair or a 3rd party has surfaced.

    I feel this is an incredibly judgemental statement. You are entitled to your opinion here, but the implication that men without religion and kids are automatically up to no good is flat out insulting.
    1508925627
    Aims85 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 504
    • Joined: 14 Dec 2016

    We've been married for 13 years and our sex life just gets better!! We always make time for each other sexually, perfect way to unwind after a stressful day. We're very open with each other about new things to try out too 🙌

    1508926026
    LadiesMan [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 224
    • Joined: 9 Sep 2008

    A cup of tea when she wakes up is really really important. Also setting aside some time (eg a date night) without spending all the time being more interested in my iphone instead of her. We also have something called "Fantasy Friday" every month, and we try to do something new and kinky.... so bondage for example. The LoveHoney Magic wand has also helped a lot, as it quickly gets her in the mood!

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.