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  1. I love anal sex. Does that make me gay?

    1508251503
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ya'll try reversing your line of thinking right now and imaging your partner had a sexual need and was seeking to have it fulfilled outside your realtionship norms as you have them set today? For some people an open or semi open relationship works, for others it is not ok. Only you and your partner can determine that.

    I just know that if you do not feel fulfilled and you cannot even discuss this with your partner it will continue to cause a unspoken divide, unmet needs and possible resentment long term or worse. I personally do not associate anal play / butt plugs and the like when a man being gay, just a man enjoying anal stimulation. I think that needs to be the first part of your talk with your patner is about coming clean that you enjoy anal stimulation, it is perfectly normal and not related to your sexual identity or your love of your partner.

    Don't pull out the huge dildo first, instead discussing anal stimulation during sex with them as a way to enhance your experience. I would start by something non intimidating like a butt plug first. you may want to find an article to help you explain or demonstrate this to them. Can you watching a video with them or share an article that explains pegging? I found this just by searching pegging on the lovehoney blog.

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/?q=pegging

    1508252628
    British DJ [sign in to see picture]
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    No I haven’t. Personally I would never cheat on anyone I’m with, never have or would, the guilt would kill me! But I’ve never been with a man, I think I am straight, just like the thought of being ass/face fucked by a dick. Preferably on a woman! I have thought about being with men, and only BJs and anal turn me on. Not kissing or anything like that, even getting a blowjob off a man doesn’t really turn me on.

    1508254418
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    I am not judging what does or does not turn you on, I am only trying ot offer up some helpful suggestions on how to broach this topic with your partner / find sexual happiness.

    1508255173
    British DJ [sign in to see picture]
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    @vanessa8 I think you’re right, and have to at least try and ease her into it. Start small and work our way up. Then tell her about all my big toys and hope she won’t be so weirded out by it then. She can be very vanilla unfortunately, when I have a lot of kink in me and wild sexual fantasy’s it can be hard to bring up anything like this

    1508255262
    British DJ [sign in to see picture]
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    @vanessa8 that reply before was for someone else, I understand that you’re trying to help and your suggestions are really good and appreciated :)

    1508255796
    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 wrote:

    Ya'll try reversing your line of thinking right now and imaging your partner had a sexual need and was seeking to have it fulfilled outside your realtionship norms as you have them set today? For some people an open or semi open relationship works, for others it is not ok. Only you and your partner can determine that.

    I just know that if you do not feel fulfilled and you cannot even discuss this with your partner it will continue to cause a unspoken divide, unmet needs and possible resentment long term or worse. I personally do not associate anal play / butt plugs and the like when a man being gay, just a man enjoying anal stimulation. I think that needs to be the first part of your talk with your patner is about coming clean that you enjoy anal stimulation, it is perfectly normal and not related to your sexual identity or your love of your partner.

    Don't pull out the huge dildo first, instead discussing anal stimulation during sex with them as a way to enhance your experience. I would start by something non intimidating like a butt plug first. you may want to find an article to help you explain or demonstrate this to them. Can you watching a video with them or share an article that explains pegging? I found this just by searching pegging on the lovehoney blog.

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/?q=pegging

    I'd love my OH to have sexual fantasies and desires outside our own immediate relationship. If she did I'd probably feel easier sharing mine. But she's pretty straight laced when it comes to sex I'd happily trade alternative desires with her. Thanks for the link, there looks to be some great info there. I'll have a really good read of it later and maybe think about whether I dare forward it to my wife.
    1508256094
    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
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    British DJ wrote:

    No I haven’t. Personally I would never cheat on anyone I’m with, never have or would, the guilt would kill me! But I’ve never been with a man, I think I am straight, just like the thought of being ass/face fucked by a dick. Preferably on a woman! I have thought about being with men, and only BJs and anal turn me on. Not kissing or anything like that, even getting a blowjob off a man doesn’t really turn me on.

    You see this is what makes me think I'm partly gay at least. I have already slept with men. I'm always what is known as bottom and never a top or versatile. I only want to receive. I do also love giving guys oral completely! I would happily sleep with a man again as I really enjoy it but not sure I would ever want to have a full time relationship with a man! I think I'd miss relationships with women too much.
    1508257605
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Well I used to be pretty vanilla too... then I started using some pretty standard toys with my partner like a cock ring, bullet, etc... found more pleasure, had fun exploring, grew my range of play, etc.

    Start slow, communicate openly as best you can (none of us are perfect!) and help your partner understand you want to experience more pleasure together. Best wishes to your both.

    1508260147
    British DJ [sign in to see picture]
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    @michael777
    just sounds like you’re bisexual, you have the best of both worlds! I think if I were single I would try sleeping with a guy, see if I like it, only want to be the bottom though, as I Iove being a submissive and taking it up the ass. But if you end up telling your wife let me know how it goes! May give me the courage to talk to mine if I haven’t done it already!

    @vanessa8
    We do have a small collection of toys, a bullet vibrator gets used almost every time we have sex, we have a couple more vibrators that we sometimes use. And also a small jelly dildo and anal beads that never get used. I sometimes bring up using them if we were going to have sex later that day but she will never get them out and we end up just having sex. Which is great don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I want to try different things and have more

    1508261816
    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 wrote:

    Well I used to be pretty vanilla too... then I started using some pretty standard toys with my partner like a cock ring, bullet, etc... found more pleasure, had fun exploring, grew my range of play, etc.

    Start slow, communicate openly as best you can (none of us are perfect!) and help your partner understand you want to experience more pleasure together. Best wishes to your both.

    Thank you, that's really great advice. Maybe I'll surprise her at Christmas with some little starter toys and see where we go from there.
    1508262022
    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
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    @BritishDJ Yes I'll let you know. If I can get her interested in some toys for herself too then I'll definitely tell her I want to use toys too. Not sure I'd ever tell her about sleeping with other men though. But as said previously if she could graduate up to wearing a strap on I wouldn't need anything else!!

    1508263060
    British DJ [sign in to see picture]
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    @Michael777 If I were you i wouldn’t tell her you slept with other men. As she may class that as cheating and could ruin your marriage. But I’m going to do the same, try and use more toys but start slow. The Cock rings with the vibrating anal plug I think would be a good way to start, as it stimulates her clit as well as you. And she doesn’t really have to do anything to your ass but can see how much enjoyment you get out of it. Also a few links I think are a good idea to show her that plenty of straight men do enjoy it anal. If she likes it and doesn’t mind the plugs then progress from there. But I’m sure you’re thinking the same as me, ‘easier said than done’.

    1508264467
    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
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    British DJ wrote:

    @Michael777 If I were you i wouldn’t tell her you slept with other men. As she may class that as cheating and could ruin your marriage. But I’m going to do the same, try and use more toys but start slow. The Cock rings with the vibrating anal plug I think would be a good way to start, as it stimulates her clit as well as you. And she doesn’t really have to do anything to your ass but can see how much enjoyment you get out of it. Also a few links I think are a good idea to show her that plenty of straight men do enjoy it anal. If she likes it and doesn’t mind the plugs then progress from there. But I’m sure you’re thinking the same as me, ‘easier said than done’.

    Ha yes, that's exactly what I. I'm thinking! Good luck!
    1508315767
    brufton [sign in to see picture]
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    I also enjoy anal. For most guys it's the stigma around liking anal makes you gay, which in my view is a load of rubbish.

    You say you enjoy the sensations of anal and pleasing a sexual partner. Doesn't sound gay when you phrase it like that...?

    As already said, sexuality is a rather fluid scale - don't worry about it 😁

    1508336986
    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
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    brufton wrote:

    I also enjoy anal. For most guys it's the stigma around liking anal makes you gay, which in my view is a load of rubbish.

    You say you enjoy the sensations of anal and pleasing a sexual partner. Doesn't sound gay when you phrase it like that...?

    As already said, sexuality is a rather fluid scale - don't worry about it 😁

    Yes I think it's the stigma that has been my main issue. I've enjoyed anal play and sex long before it became 'okay' to talk about it. I guess it's the fact I've done it secretly for so long made me wonder if I was, in fact, hiding something from myself also. Thanks for the reply.
    1508348320
    feedtheneed01 [sign in to see picture]
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    I too enjoy anal play but would never entertain talking to my other half about my kinky desires.
    I have sexual fantasies about being used roughly from behind but I know Im not gay. I love females too damn much. Its definately a dilemma.
    one major issue is a lot of women in my opinion are quite prudish and do not like talking sex as openly as us men.

    1508354161
    British DJ [sign in to see picture]
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    @feedtheneed01 completely agree with you there, my Oh doesn’t really like talking about sex, won’t open up about her fantasy’s and says she doesn’t have any (everyone has them surely!) in the end i thought that most women didn’t like talking about it, but then I come on this forum and they’re talking more than the guys! And the pages saying how the girls want to peg their guys arses and how it turns them on. And then there is us having the complete opposite dilemma having our women not being into it and hard to talk to about it!

    1508358803
    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ha yes, sounds like we're the unlucky ones. I must admit I'm really pessimistic about making any progress with my OH!

    1508367148
    British DJ [sign in to see picture]
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    @Michael777 have you ever done any anal stuff with your wife? I told my Oh years ago when we were both a bit drunk that I liked a bit of anal play (this was when I was a beginner) and started using small toys on me. But that happened no more the 10 times through 3 years and haven’t done anything like that the last 2 years. She knows I like it but she just doesn’t want to do anything about it, which is a shame. I try and make jokes about it but she always has the same response, ‘you shouldn’t like it, gay men like it’. I always say back that it’s not gay, plenty of straight men enjoy it, that where the P spot is.. but nothing comes from it. Just need a proper talk if I want it to go anywhere and make her understand

    1508401125
    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
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    British DJ wrote:

    @Michael777 have you ever done any anal stuff with your wife? I told my Oh years ago when we were both a bit drunk that I liked a bit of anal play (this was when I was a beginner) and started using small toys on me. But that happened no more the 10 times through 3 years and haven’t done anything like that the last 2 years. She knows I like it but she just doesn’t want to do anything about it, which is a shame. I try and make jokes about it but she always has the same response, ‘you shouldn’t like it, gay men like it’. I always say back that it’s not gay, plenty of straight men enjoy it, that where the P spot is.. but nothing comes from it. Just need a proper talk if I want it to go anywhere and make her understand

    I have had anal sex with my wife but that was around ten years ago when we first met and now she won't entertain any talk of doing it. I'm not too fussed in fairness as I would rather have vaginal sex with her anyway. She does have vibrators herself and I've in the past mentioned using them on myself but she'll just come out with comments like "things aren't supposed to go up your bum". This really gives me the no hope of progress feeling really!

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