• Thank you Letters

    1265894391
    *Emma* [sign in to see picture]
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    Dear N

    I thank you for from the bottom of my heart for being with me, a part of my life and making my world so perfect when it was so dark. You have brightened the days for both me and the children and i love you dearly, always and forever.

    The time and understanding you offer me, you are the ear i turn to and you are the support i need when im down. You are always there for me as i am for you, eternally. Funny, a lil bit nutty and dappy but i think your a star, my shining star and id be lost without you. Adventourous and daring, caring and kind. I hope you are always mine baby

    Emmsipoos x

    1265933170
    Sam66 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 17 Nov 2009

    I have several people in my life who I wish I could say what I felt about them to their face.

    My whole family and I have had such a dreadful 3 years which we're now coming out of ... I have been severely mentally ill - suicide attempts that didn't go well, alcoholism and depression. They're still with me and we celebrate 20 years as husband and wife next week.

    My earlier letter was written to several people as one person (if you see what I mean) I owe three or four people my life - literally. My wif eis still with me - miraculously. And I owe so many debts I can never repay.

    This is a wonderful thread

    1265971889
    Jonno [sign in to see picture]
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    dear L,

    I really have no clue where to begin, you are an amazing person and I want to thank you for every time you text me, every time we have conversations just talking bollocks to each other.

    I'm glad I helped you see who you are, what your worth, and that I helped in your decision to leave that scumbag. The time I spent with you at the party was amazing, and yes, even though we got the piss taken out of us for certain things, I honestly couldnt care, because I just want to make you happy.

    I know your head is probably not in a good place at the moment, but I wouldn't want you to just "jump into bed with me" this weekend, I hope you realise that I'm not like that.

    And yes, I do hope you like me as much as I like you and that things work out. But if they dont, then thats fine too.

    Though I do keep being teased by your sister and my mates, who say I should stop denying that I'm in love with you!

    hopefully see you at some point this weekend

    jonno

    1265998801
    Rowan [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 14 Jan 2009

    Dear S,

    I will never be able to ennumerate or express what you have done for me, the words 'I love you' are, as always insufficient and I curse the clumsiness with which this will likely seem to be composed, it is only that I struggle to articulate the true depth of my feelings sometimes and in relation to you I can rarely do so without sounding cheesey or ridiculous to others, nevertheless I shall try!

    When we first met I was shy, quiet, locked into a world within myself and disconnected from reality somehow; I appeared to the others much as a maiden veiled by mist, visible and yet hidden. Their messages for some reason ascribed me wisdom and yet also idiocy, I struggled around people and disliked being looked at. You saw beauty behind the mist, a representation and the potential within me, waiting for you to draw it out; i know that you delight in me as you also give me great joy. You cared for me, in every way that a man can care for a woman and you did not betray any resentment at doing so; you snuck in to see me on those nights you were not supposed to, came to my window in the early morning hours as the knight to Rapunzel so as not to be observed. We walked together in the darkness through the forest just as you have walked with me through dark times, together we lay and watched the stars dance through the seasons as you have shared the beauty of the world with me.

    The first time you kissed me I felt so shy and unsure but so special and safe! Although I do not remember many other firsts and it greives me I am glad that you can remember them for us both, you brushed away the tears I shed when the veil was lifted and I understood, when I realised how much I was missing; when I felt incomplete you reassured me, relieved my fears, calmed my spirit and pointed me towards the Lord we both serve. You have given of yourself witholding nothing from me; I trust you completely and you have seen my heart, you have accepted me as I am and taught me the truth of loving yourself in order that you may love others more fully, appreciated each person as a gift, a masterpiece. I kept the picture you drew without my knowledge that first time, I know you have the later ones, but none are more precious to me than the sketch with glasses on the end of my nose, curled up with the book in a corner!

    When I walked in the darkness you held me and you are the one constant I remember from that time, my strength, as you are to this day, my defender and my friend. When the pain was too much you carried me, when the chaos around overcame me you did not abandon me- you never do. I owe you my life, my confidence, my awareness and sanity; you are precious to me for all of this and more. The very effort and time you have invested in me and in our lives together shows more than anything else you could ever have done how you feel, how you see me, how much our bond means to you and assigns value to it and to me.

    Three years ago I could not have imagined my life as it is today, when you said you would always love me, always find me interesting I disbelievingly told you that in a month you would become bored and disenchanted. I allow that on this I was wrong (You just won an argument)

    When overnight my whole person changed you remained, when most men would have been unable to assimilate such a sudden alteration, like a light being turned on in darkness, you helped me and were able to rejoice at seeing the potential become manifest in reality.
    I cannot lie and say that it has been easy, or that I am always happy, but my time with you has been a wonderful adventure. I hope we will see many more through together. I thank God for blessing me with you and for granting me so much happiness; no longer am I only myself, although that remains, I now form part of a greater whole.
    You balance and augment me as I do you, you encourage me, prompt me, have led me to reignite old passions (writing, drawing, seeking green things) and discover new ones (kinky and innocent).
    When I count my blessings you are the first on the list every time- well, after Jesus. (You steal the duvet) - As the sun rose amazingly on our years together I hope that there shall be a continuing beauty and passion, more joint discoveries, blessings and challenges right up until the final rays of a glorious sunset touch the hills of the world that we travel and one or t'other of us is promoted to glory to one day meet again.

    The full and extended version of this letter will be left in your inbox, as the last time I left something in the cereal cupboard you missed it!

    Please forgive the multitude of tangents and the level in incoherence but to you, that knows me best of all I am certain it shall correctly be understood and I know that the condensed one is less easily deciphered due to 'editing' but hopefully the just is understandable!

    "May the road rise up to meet you.
    May the wind be always at your back.
    May the sun shine warm upon your face;
    the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand." (he is at work)

    Lxxx

    1266026983
    Rowan [sign in to see picture]
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    Quick note!

    Thank you to the lovely OA regulars, particularly KP, SG and (fallen) Jaygee, for giving me the confidence to actually take pictures, post them and for being encouraging. Thank you also to all the people who complimented me, and who posted their own lovely arse pictures! x

    1266085378
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Mum,

    Thank you for teaching me how to be me. Thank you for taking me to the hospital countless times and always giving me a shoulder to cry on when I need it. Thank you for caring. I know you are not perfect and neither am I, we don't always get along as well as we ought, but you give me everything a girl needs in a mother and more.

    Ax

    Dad,

    Cheers - you're a great help and have taught me so much, without someone as practical and realistic as you I wouldn't have the good sense I have now. You have set me up with a good life, by teaching me the important things like how to take care of money.

    Ax

    -- I'll add that I'm not an emotional person, I don't like to say my thank yous, I like to *show* my gratitude. I also don't like to show "outsiders" (of whichever relationship) my strong, personal emotions - hence the shortness of my letters. I tend to express them only to the person I feel them for --

    Ax

    1266086484
    Rowan [sign in to see picture]
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    Now I feel like an idiot and wish I could take things all down :~( I 'show' people but I am more comfortable writing things down which are more open than in verbal situations often, with only a few exceptions :~(

    1266086504
    Rowan [sign in to see picture]
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    Or face to face of most kinds.

    1266087083
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't be silly!

    People express things in different ways and to different depths.

    Some people need to be expressed to in different ways too...

    If writing helps you get your message across then fair enough, we never really have adequate ways to express our feelings so you simply have to express them in a suitable way. If I wrote something like that to my dad he would be rather confused! He's more likely to appreciate a sandwich!

    1266087101
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Rowan wrote:

    Now I feel like an idiot and wish I could take things all down :~( I 'show' people but I am more comfortable writing things down which are more open than in verbal situations often, with only a few exceptions :~(

    Don't be silly!! Some people express there emotions better than I do and that's fine too. We all deal with things in different ways and I really envy people who express themselves so eloquently and are happy to share!!

    I am not confident enough to share emotions as I feel silly but that's just my way of dealing with things!

    The benefit of writing things down is you can put a great deal of consideration into it and you don't miss anything out :)

    Personally I think it's better to be open in most walks of life so I wish I could apply that belief to my emotions but I find it difficult :)

    Ax

    1266087992
    Rowan [sign in to see picture]
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    AdnaW wrote:

    Rowan wrote:

    Now I feel like an idiot and wish I could take things all down :~( I 'show' people but I am more comfortable writing things down which are more open than in verbal situations often, with only a few exceptions :~(

    Don't be silly!! Some people express there emotions better than I do and that's fine too. We all deal with things in different ways and I really envy people who express themselves so eloquently and are happy to share!!

    I am not confident enough to share emotions as I feel silly but that's just my way of dealing with things!

    The benefit of writing things down is you can put a great deal of consideration into it and you don't miss anything out :)

    Personally I think it's better to be open in most walks of life so I wish I could apply that belief to my emotions but I find it difficult :)

    Ax

    Every time I've ever shared my 'honest' or raw written material I feel as though I've laid my soul bare to the world and am very insecure! That was a condensed version, and the original is far more eloquent, (those I write straight off, without thinking, censoring etc) which means they flow better. Only three people have ever seen such, and the only reason I can post the edited version is that I don't know you lot in the real world lol. Some people can cope with bottling everything, after past experiences I returned with Mr R's encouragement to an old and neglected habit of writing things down. Not simply emotions but as a means of expression. You are absolutely right about people dealing with things in different ways :~) Openess is something I'm working on (I actually can't lie, I never learned and it was never an essential requirement)

    We all envy some trait or another, however in itself that is not constructive and is counter productive; working towards something and aspiring to what you perceive as an improvement upon your current state seems to be extremely beneficial. Sorry about the tangent. *blush

    1266088853
    Jonno [sign in to see picture]
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    dear k,

    you have just always been there, helping me through my mentalness, keeping me (slightly) sane. You helped me through my darkest times, when I thought that everyone was out for me, when it seemed that the world was collapsing around me. You put up with me being a dick, my annoying tendancies, my inane ability to constantly do the wrong bloody thing.

    You saw straight through me, you saw through the aggressive dickish teen, and helped me see my soft side (part of my loves you for that, part hates you :P)

    You are my best friend, and no matter what happens, you will always be Dylwyth, you will always be Rodzinny. I am gratefull for all the mental conversations we had in my coffee shop, for somebody else to confide in, someone that believed in me during my hardest time growing up.

    I love you like the older sister I never had, thank you

    1266088862
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I do agree with you! I have several "tasks" each year for personal improvement. Last year (after a few tough years) I worked on being my old positive self again and feel I achieved it. This year I am working on my confidence.

    I am (bizarrely) very open about my sex life, and will (if prompted) talk about my life but discussing my feelings about things is something I can't do. I tend to change subject quickly or brush over things I feel embarrassed to talk about. It feels unnatural but perhaps that is my upbringing (I know my dad loves me, but he has never told me and I have never told him). We aren't an emotional family, it's always felt like a weakness that spiteful people can exploit (laying your soul bare like you say) and I've encountered people in my life who would exploit those weaknesses so perhaps that's why I avoid it.

    Congratulations for having the confidence to post your condensed letters and I really do hope that my "way of dealing with things" hasn't made you feel bad at all. I feel it is important to stress that I only said what I did so as to not come across as heartless with my short letters - it took me a few hours to decide to post the one for WandA because of the reasons I stated. I feel guilty easily and am a natural worrier. They will be future years' targets of self improvement hehe!

    Ax

    1266091761
    Rowan [sign in to see picture]
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    Ah. Thanks :~) Never thought of you as heartless m'dear. Some things in life are training for the future lol. I'm very lucky in that I can genuinely choose whether or not to be emotional, but it is rather an all or nothing thing :~S borderline AS. No one is very accepting of the strictly logical 'cold' person so it is simpler to have things switched on if in contact with others lol. Chemical imbalances excepted (e.g. meds). I'm also very fortunate to be able to gain greater clarity by writing. Thank you for the compliment :~)

    It seems that the vast majority of people aim for some form of 'self improvement' on a consistent basis, moving the goal posts when one is in any sense achieved.

    I on the other hand am not very open about my sex life and other than the OA it tends to be discussed only with Mr R and two women.

    Worrying is a difficult habit to overcome. Guilt is also, I find that passes though and have easy ways of managing it :) Do you apologise too often m'dear?

    1266092433
    Sukkamielli [sign in to see picture]
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    Dear J

    You are an amazing person and I am grateful you allow me to see the real you beneath the construct that you show the rest of the world. Thank you for being one of the few I can turn to in my darkest hours. Thank you for being one of the few I can trust with the lost little girl i am under all my bull and bravado. You are like a brother, a best friend and mirror on my own soul and I can never find the words to tell you how grateful I am for that.

    Yes, you have made mistakes. Yes you have done a few things recently that made me want to get physical (and not in a sexy way) but all these things have been out weighed by the happiness you have brought to N, the most important person in my entire life. Even R, comes second to N and knows that so the fact that you can bring her such joy and the confidence to start to plan a new life, a new home and a new future is just so amazing to me. I could never complain about anything you did while you make her so amazingly happy.

    I am eternally grateful for you bringing N back to me, never underestimate the role you had in that. I can never thank you enough and I can never show you exactly how grateful I am for all that you have done and undoubtedly will do, but i'll damn well try sir.

    Thank you x

    1266093478
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Rowan I'm replying in the good morning/afternoon/night thread :)

    Axx

    1310510013
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I wrote a huge message here but instead I just want to say.

    WandA, thank you.

    For everything you've done for me lately, more than I could have asked for! The wonderful support you've given me has helped me more than you could possibly imagine!

    All my love,

    Adxx

    1310511408
    pimpstress [sign in to see picture]
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    My father, My hero,

    Time has stood still since you were brutally taken from me. I know you never meant to take me with you when your short time here came to an end, but a massive part of me died that day.

    I lay with you in the burns unit for your last 12hrs here. i could only hold 2 of your fingers on your left hand as your injuries were so bad.

    I was told not to look at your face when i 1st got to the hospital, so the nurses had positioned you so that you were facing backwards in the intensive care unit, the only thing i could see was your gorgeous red hair as i entered. I was so scared to look at your face but i couldnt help myself...& thats still all i see when i close my eyes. Your injuries were awful, 85% burns and you were going into organ failure. All the machines kept bleeping, your bed kept moving to relieve pressure, I beeged you to stay, but i knew you couldnt.

    Your face was so terribly disfigured that it will forever haunt me.

    At half past 9 that night i was asked if i would give permission to switch off your life support, the hardest decision i have ever had to make, but i knew you would never survive. I called for a priest and had you blessed, It was not long after that that you passed away.

    You were and always will be my hero.

    The only way i get through each day is to think that another little girl in heaven needed you more than i did.

    So fly with the angels Daddy and be free.

    There are so many lucky little girls in heaven to have you with them and keep them safe until their families come too.

    I will continue to fight for justice Dad, Someone WILL be held accountable for your death and for why you are not here today to tell me its gonna be ok, even when you knew it wouldnt be.

    God bless you Dad

    I will never give up the fight, i promise.

    Love you to button moon & back

    Kristy

    xxxx

    1310515760
    ghostgirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Am I allowed 2?

    Dear S

    Thank you for the 2 most precious things in my life, without them, our girls I dont think I would have made it through the darkness.

    Thank you for the 13 years of volatile marriage, the laughter the loss and the tears. For the fights and the make ups. For shaping me into the woman I became, for the strength I found when you got sick and left us. I hope that you finally found the peace we would have given you earlier if others had found that same strength and been able to put your needs first and say goodbye. I am sorry that I allowed them to bully you into carrying on when your body was tired and you were ready to go.

    Thank you for royally fucking up your life insurance application and the huge mortgage you left me to pay after the claim was denied. Thank you for leaving me to deal with your disfunctional, self centred, manipulative and emotionally repressed family, really appreciate that one.

    xGGx

    To ghostrider

    thank you for showing me that I am a desirable sexy woman, for being my rock when things get too much for my fragile self. For making me feel like I am the most important person on the planet and the only one who counts. For being there and saying nothing when nothing needs to be said. For the safety of being wrapped in your arms when all I want to do is give up.

    For being the first person to put me first instead of letting me put myself last.

    For teaching me to have confidence in myself and to stretch my wings, for being the one who encourages me to be me and not to be afraid of failure. For trusting me with your secrets and for opening up to me when you find that a hard thing to do.

    For taking on my children and supporting me in dealing with their issues.

    For being you and being with me

    xGGx

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