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  1. Being judged

    1506108716
    Initiate [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 19 May 2017

    Have you ever found anything people do sexually or fantasy wise weird or judged someone for what they get up to or do? Or have you felt judged or told something was weird or strange.

    How did you feel in either circumstance

    1506109078
    secret_scarlett [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 77
    • Joined: 30 Apr 2012

    Yes, literally just started a thread about my open relationship for this reason.

    Makes me feel like I am really weird and more difficult to talk about it with anyone

    1506112134
    Eager-2-Please [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 3 Jul 2014

    I try to stay open minded to almost anything and not judge people. I say almost because anything that is against consent and/or illegal (children, animals) - then I will judge without hesitation. One fetish I heard about I became judgmental because it was, well, let's just say it involves getting pregnant very often and crosses an ethical line. Some things I simply will never understand - like scat fetish or adult babies, but I still try my hardest not to be judgemental of those sort of things just because it's not my thing.

    1506113220
    AmyA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    • Joined: 21 Feb 2016

    In terms of what people enjoy I think I'm pretty non-judgemental. There are a few things I don't get what they get from it but I think I'm pretty much of the mindset of "if it harm none let it be"

    I have felt slightly judged and it's a weird one, I like YAOI manga and anime (literally translated bits love, m/m relationship stories but aimed at a female audience) and my brother (also an anime nerd) teases me slightly about it and I can't help thinking "if he thinks that bad.."

    1506114092
    MK7 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 21 Sep 2015

    I constantly feel judged. Infact, the more kinky side of my sex life has been a big driving factor for a lot of people rejecting me. Can't be helped.

    1506114695
    AmyA [sign in to see picture]
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    AmyA wrote:

    In terms of what people enjoy I think I'm pretty non-judgemental. There are a few things I don't get what they get from it but I think I'm pretty much of the mindset of "if it harm none let it be"

    I have felt slightly judged and it's a weird one, I like YAOI manga and anime (literally translated bits love, m/m relationship stories but aimed at a female audience) and my brother (also an anime nerd) teases me slightly about it and I can't help thinking "if he thinks that bad.."

    Sorry, that should read boys love - damn autocorrect.

    MK7 - I guess that's sort of a benefit of being single, I haven't had to broach any kinks with a potential partner but then you don't get to really explore them either. I suppose in all cases the right 'fit' for you won't judge, whether you get to fulfil the desire or not. Whether being able to fulfil a particular kink or not is a deal breaker in a relationship is an entirely different situation, there shouldn't be any need to judge.

    1506118906
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 11 Nov 2016

    I have this small meeting group which meet once a month. We share on information and life experiences about family life and sex but never into orgy or swinging. However certain religious body where we belong to called us all sort of derogatory names. One way to overcome the hurts for us is to leave the "oppositions" alone and welcome them when the time comes.

    People has every right to live in their fantasies, including orgy and sex party and the responsibilities lie in their hands. As for hub and I, we have the ultimate rights to reject dictation and be happy with ourselves.

    This issue of being judged has bottled up in me for a long time and I feel good to mention it here.

    1506119412
    ash34m [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
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    • Joined: 4 Jul 2014

    Yes, because we like using toys and trying new things and open about it we get looked at like we are freaks or something.

    1506124534
    Initiate [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you for sharing everyone and opening up.

    I was going to be vague as it made me feel a quite silly and judged. I wanted to see my fiancée wee when she was on toilet. Not something I had ever seen and was very curious and a little turned

    Wasn't a fantasy or a fetish it was just something I was curious about and found it a little sexy (probably mostly because of the rest of the area) but was told it was weird. Both her doing it (which is her choice and feeling about her doing something, so I understand) and me wanting to see it. Wasn't easy as it's 10 years now. Probably not meant to be harmful in any way but still... felt judged

    1506153045
    4Uonly [sign in to see picture]
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    @"Initiate, you are your own happiness. You are in control. Have fun.

    1506171642
    Initiate [sign in to see picture]
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    I try not always so easy

    1506176249
    Vixenchel [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm very open minded i have some dark fantasies and Im also a sado masochist with many fetishes people frown upon I'll never understand a few thins in the bdsm scene but I do not judge if its 2 consenting adults then its noone else's business. :)

    Law of attraction once your happy open and honest you will only be around people who are on your level anyway wgic is awesome :)

    1506177723
    naughty stacey [sign in to see picture]
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    Nothing better than a bit of judgement, I try and toe the line and get people as unsure about my kinks without going into their rejection zone. It keeps me social :)

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    TryMeAnytime [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 27 Aug 2017

    People can't help but judge. It's in their nature. I do it myself even when I don't like to. It can be about anything and expressed in many ways like a look someone may give me. I mostly accept who I am and often do judge myself too. It's just life. If someone is judging in a bullying way though, that's just wrong and those types of people should be avoided. It's also wise to be carefull who you tell and what you say. I talk openly with my close friends and we mainly laugh about what we do or have done. I tried utheral sounding last week and I never thought I would. So pleased I have because it feels amazing. That may be considered weird but the best things in life are those most people won't usually try. Whatever your kink or fetish is, enjoy it. Those who judge are just missing out.

    1506179140
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    I live by the words "your kink is not my kink" so even when I don't understand something or aren't interested in that thing I'm not judging other people who like it. The only things that I will absolutely judge someone for are things that involve children (role playing/being a little is not included in this - I mean actual under 18s) and animals (again not role playing as an animal or using pet toys, but genuine living animals or the use of real fur).

    1506179431
    Initiate [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow everyone so open and honest :)

    Can be very difficult if its a partner or someone close that's doing the judging or commenting negatively. Whether they mean it like that or not

    1506289613
    Joe33 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think most people have fantasies that they worry might be judged negatively or contravene sexual norms.

    I'll jutst come out with and admit my fetish is watching a partner urinate and/or defecate. It's not something I've ever brought up with someone though as I worry I'd be judged a freak!

    1506291367
    Quiet ones are worse! [sign in to see picture]
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    Thankfully most members here especially those long term ones are not judgemental no matter how far from the mark you are, i/we won't judge anyone in any way whatever your kink is that's fine (virtually ) so feel free to express your inner most kinks.

    1506683852
    нинаnin [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't feel like I judge people but I can get offended or upset about some of the things that come out of peoples' mouths. But then I don't know their back story and experiences. Plus I cannot assume that I haven't misunderstood what they said, or that I only have part of the story.

    I feel like sometimes people judge me, but I don't mind that and I just try to be more guarded around people until I feel safe with them.

    1506684987
    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have always listened to people and just been totally open minded, were all different so I would never expect someone else to have the same tastes as me sexually. I haven't ever really felt judged, I know in the past when I bought up a lot of the dominant stuff with ex partners and pegging it raised a few eyebrows but Iv been graced to have open minded partners.

    If anyone judges anyone else on something they are willing to open up about then I find that sad and I can imagine you would never feel truly satisfied. In my eyes, you should love the person and all the emotional and physical
    Baggage should be carried together.

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