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  1. He doesn't go down on me!

    1505220277
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2386
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    It is worth just asking the question to him, so you know for sure. But if it is simply that it is a 'hard limit' for him then it is how it is.

    I would then ask the question: Will it add value to the relationship if he did? If not, then carry on as is. Only stop giving him oral if it is something you don't want to do not because he isn't giving it to you. Seems silly to stop something that you enjoy already ... 

    Would it also be worth investing in 'tongue/oral' type toy that he can use on you? There are these:

    Flickering tongue

    Flicker tongue 

    Sqweel 2

    Sqweel Go

    Hope this helps and all goes well with the conversation! 

    1505220418
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2386
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    Lovehoney - Rebecca wrote:

    I feel like this question is a similar one to the 'how do I get my partner to try anal sex' that crops up every so often, so I am going to share my thoughts in the same way that I would for that.

    How I see it, the main difference between those two is that oral sex is a lot less taboo than anal sex and is therefore seen in society as more of a 'normal' practice than anal, but in the same way anal is off limits for some people and isn't something they wish to explore - oral can be just that for others.

    Giving oral sex is really quite an intimate thing to do and it's possibly something that he doesn't enjoy, rather than there being anything wrong with you and your vagina/grooming habits etc. Same way how some people don't enjoy giving blow jobs. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with their partner - they just don't enjoy giving head!

    The best way to overcome it is probably to try and have a frank and open discussion with your partner. If he's aware it's something that is bothering you, he might be more open to talking about it. Talk talk talk, and if you can't get anything out of him, your best bet is to accept the fact he's not into oral and move on from it, however that may be for you.

    My personal favourite, and most effective time to talk about stuff I want my partner to open up about is when he's driving and I'm a passenger - he can't escape me then - haha!

    YAS to this too ^^ 

    1505221112
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6686
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Good suggestion from Leanne about getting an oral/tongue toy for him to use on you as a compromise.

    Here's a couple more options that are highly rated:

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37758

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31790

    1505221487
    capt [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 5 Jul 2014

    I agree that 69 is quite intimate to launch into as a solution for this but I think there are related ways you could approach this with your SO. For example, firstly establish what the reason is: it could be the taste, the odour (both of which I like but some men might not), or the fact he doesn't find it particularly erotic himself and doesn't fully acknowledge how much you'd like it. Once you know the reasons why, you can try addressing various areas of his concerns. For example, suggest starting off together in the shower and sexily cleaning each other would establish some aspect of cleanliness for you both. Then you could try flavoured or scented lubricants, which could address some of the other concerns if they're the issue. You could ask him to try kissing/licking/nibbling your thighs, or your tummy, and see how he is with those areas which are close but not as intimate as going down on you. Hopefully he'd be open to that sort of thing. Over some time, and continuing to discuss concerns, issues and how best to slowly build to levels to where you're both comfortable, you could then perhaps introduce oral on him but with you kneeling next to his upper body. This isn't quite 69, but shows him that he can be turned on and have a good view whilst you're pleasuring him. If he gets particularly turned on, you can then ask him to use his hands on you (conveniently right next to him), and have the option to then introduce oral on you by moving to kneel over him at some later point instead of next to him. Hopefully it's not really anything amazingly fundamental and by taking this sort of step by step approach, you'll both get in the zone, with minimal interruptions required for him to introduce oral on you. Or you can reverse this to ask him to kneel next to your body if he's kissing your thighs, etc, then start using your hand on him and take it from there with the requests in the moment. I'm sure he'll be up for it (so to speak!) when he realises that it can be exciting for both partners if one is giving oral to the other, and even better when you combine it mutually. Hope that helps!

    1505221566
    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 892
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2005

    Hey, unfortunately it's all guess work until you hear it from your partner. I would as others have suggested just tell him how much you like it and ask if he can do it more often. A lot of "lad" culture has kind of made going downtown a bit of a If subject thing. Blowjobs are common place but there still seems to be a lot of men even a few I know who expect oral but never give or just give the basics. It's true that every woman does taste and smell different but so does every man so regardless of exscuses you should still have your needs met.

    Have a conversation with him and see what he says, a lot of couples get in a bit of a one sided loop and one of you will do a certain thing more than the other but this can cause a bit of friction. I would also suggest the toys above which Leanne mentioned as they do work
    Wonders and may keep your oral needs covered temporarily! Good luck and I hope you get the answers your looking for. If your struggling to ask him then maybe watch American pie or another movie which has a scene including oral and try and get a conversation going from that.

    1505227611
    WillC [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 28 Jul 2012

    I must admit i prefer a smooth vagina,but it`s never stopped me performing oral,if he`s squeamish about the taste,the suggestion of a flavoured lube/balm is a good idea,you really need to work on him i guess!

    1505359606
    SmokingHotLove [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 195
    • Joined: 26 Apr 2015

    It's 100% a preference thing! If they enjoy giving oral then taste, shaven or not etc is irrelevant! He may not feel confident in his ability or get no pleasure in performing the act, which unfortunately is quite common! But if enjoys receiving oral, then that's just selfish! Fortunately I've never experienced your situation, but can assure you, if I wasn't getting then I certainly wouldn't be giving, full stop! We all have our needs and it should be about giving pleasure and receiving, not just receiving! Talk to him firmly about why you enjoy it, it may make a difference, hopefully!

    1505381513
    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 897
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2012

    Some great advice here! It may be down to taste, or ability (it must be hard for a guy to know what to do, when lots of us have such unique things we like!) or he may just not like it. If it's the former, flavoured lube may help. If it's the second, then he may benefit from this:

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=33067 (currently unavailable but LH will email you when it's back in stock).

    If it's the latter, then the toys Leanne and NatAndTom suggested are fab! You can't make anyone do something they don't want to do, so if he's not keen then there are some toys that feel a little bit like oral.

    And there's so many other things you can do too; he could use his lubed fingers on you, or rub an ice cube all over your vulva; that way you still get wet, just not with his tongue.

    Have fun! 😁

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