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  1. He doesn't go down on me!

    1505156896
    SugarSpice [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 49
    • Joined: 9 Mar 2014

    So I've been with my boyfriend for around 9 months now and I really enjoy our sex life! We're both adventurous and have made a couple of purchases on here to adventure further.

    However, I absolutely love oral but he doesn't seem to share my enthusiasm for it. He doesn't have any problems with me giving him blow jobs, which is fine by me and I love giving them and pleasing him but it would be nice to receive it once in a while too.
    He's gone down once on me but that was when he was absolutely wasted and it lasted about 30 seconds.

    I read a few posts on other sites and a lot of people (men and women) said to refrain from giving blow jobs and tell him the reason why, which I did but he just said that it was a fair decision and that he understood. Then the conversation was over. However, I actually missed doing it so I relented after a few weeks.

    I keep myself clean and shower daily. Even right before we get down to things so that can't be the issue. I really want to sit down and ask him about it but I don't want to put either of us in an awkward position :/

    Does anyone have any advice on how I approach this with him or am I just best off accepting the fact that he isn't into it?!
    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    1505157409
    Cutecountrygirl [sign in to see picture]
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    He might just not be into it, or possibly he might not like your taste. My partner has told me that he only enjoyed oral with certain women he was with, some just didn't agree with him. It's not really a cleanliness thing, I think all women just have their own taste and odours. You really should talk with him about it though.

    1505157541
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
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    Not a lot I can add given that I love giving oral, but I can confirm women taste very different. As was said above, might have nothing to do with cleanliness at all....

    1505157659
    Scoob [sign in to see picture]
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    Mention a 69 with some lovehoney flavoured lube?

    1505158067
    Cutecountrygirl [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't think I would start with 69, thats super intimate and if he isn't enjoying it that would be bad.

    1505158510
    BigInBerks [sign in to see picture]
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    I can't stand women with hair. Oral is so much nicer with a smooth pussy. Is it that?

    1505158570
    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    It could be that he just isn't into it ,everyone has things that they're not keen on and if that's the case then there's not an awful lot you can do about .
    Or maybe he's not very confident about giving you oral and hasn't had much experience of it in the past so in his mind he feels he's not good at pleasing a woman in that way . If it's that then he just needs a bit of gentle guidance from you .
    I know it's a bit difficult but if it's really bothering you then you need to talk about it and and find out the reason .

    1505158965
    SugarSpice [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah I'd agree with a 69 being quite intimate as well. I don't want to be forceful with it. I'd love to receive it but I just don't think it's his thing.

    There's been plenty of opportunities for him to do so. He's lost his erection a couple of times so he'll always use his fingers to finish me off. He's very attentive and always makes sure I finish but it's just the oral part that's bothering me. I think I just need to accept the fact that he won't do it.

    1505159244
    Cutecountrygirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Have glass of wine, cuddle up and talk about it. Tell him that you enjoy it but if he has problems with it then you understand. If he feels realxed you might get a better answer.

    1505159715
    SugarSpice [sign in to see picture]
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    I've been clean shaven, had hair and trimmed down there in the time I've known him so I don't think the hair situation is the issue either.

    1505160167
    Aims85 [sign in to see picture]
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    I suspect he might not be confident giving oral, talk it through and encourage him that he's good at satisfying you. If he tries again make sure he knows he's doing an amazing job xx

    1505160351
    TandG [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok so it's Mr T here and I have the flip reversal where I crave going down on Mrs G. Mrs G is very prudish in that respective and hates me going anywhere near that area with my tongue. I think she may have had a bad experience before she met me. I've managed it a few times when she has been blindfolded and I've been allowed to explore but if the lights are on and she is very much a no no. She loves to give me oral and I would love to be able to return the favour more. She just loves some good old fashioned penetration

    1505160672
    Eager-2-Please [sign in to see picture]
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    I can't imagine why he wouldn't be into it unless there's an underlying issue, even if it were just to please you (i.e. people often have no problem doing things for the benefit of others even if they don't get much/anything out of it themselves - unless there's something actually causing them to not like/avoid doing it).

    Talk to him about it. Don't be judgemental or accusatory, be understanding.

    1505160722
    BigInBerks [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm currently banned from going down on my wife. I have a naturally high level of oral thrush and ummm, she's now itchy.

    Fortunately my dentist has given me some Antibiotics and it's cleared up. Now waiting for the all clear from the wife.

    1505162111
    SugarSpice [sign in to see picture]
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    We're going away for a few days soon so I might try to talk about it with him then. I've tried to broach the subject with him once before but he just totally brushed it off, didn't give me any sort of answer or idea as to why. He just kind of shrugged it off and the moment passed so quick for me to carry it on.

    Whenever we have 'hot' conversations over text, he always says there's more to come and he's finding ways to surprise me. I always ask him to divulge some information or give me a hint but he always says I'll find out soon enough or that if he tells me it won't be a surprise for me. He's said it a few times and it's been a while but nothing's changed! I guess I'm just impatient and eager to see what he has in store but sometimes I can't help but feel he's just saying these things to keep me from asking!

    1505207869
    Mature lovers 62 [sign in to see picture]
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    Do you know if he has a fav food topping, ice cream sauce, golden syrup, I suggest these as you could drip some down your body and ask him to lickit off. I done it before and it worked.

    1505208176
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    It sounds like it's just a preference thing for him and he just isn't into it. It's unfortunate that it's something you enjoy but at this point I would probably just accept that it isn't for him. There are plenty of other activities you can engage in together :)

    1505209371
    Badger73 [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe its something that he just cannot get himself to do. I love going down on Mrs Badger but she cannot go down on me. She has tried once or twice and but just cannot do it and I won't push for her to try.

    1505219628
    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
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    Just ask him why he doesn't go downtown? And I'd even tell him that you'd like it if he did.

    1505219692
    Lovehoney - Rebecca [sign in to see picture]
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    I feel like this question is a similar one to the 'how do I get my partner to try anal sex' that crops up every so often, so I am going to share my thoughts in the same way that I would for that.

    How I see it, the main difference between those two is that oral sex is a lot less taboo than anal sex and is therefore seen in society as more of a 'normal' practice than anal, but in the same way anal is off limits for some people and isn't something they wish to explore - oral can be just that for others.

    Giving oral sex is really quite an intimate thing to do and it's possibly something that he doesn't enjoy, rather than there being anything wrong with you and your vagina/grooming habits etc. Same way how some people don't enjoy giving blow jobs. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with their partner - they just don't enjoy giving head!

    The best way to overcome it is probably to try and have a frank and open discussion with your partner. If he's aware it's something that is bothering you, he might be more open to talking about it. Talk talk talk, and if you can't get anything out of him, your best bet is to accept the fact he's not into oral and move on from it, however that may be for you.

    My personal favourite, and most effective time to talk about stuff I want my partner to open up about is when he's driving and I'm a passenger - he can't escape me then - haha!

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