• Wait! We think you’re in the US - Lovehoney.com is a better site for you.
    Shop there and get 10% off!
    United States Flag
    Go to Lovehoney.com
  1. Self discovery

    1505156409
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1341
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    When it comes to sexuality, has life ever thrown you any surprises?

    For me, I've identified as bisexual since I was 18. I've always had fantasies about giving oral to guys. I slept with a guy once, as part of a MMF threesome, and enjoyed it. Well, having been separated and single a short while now, I had a no strings encounter with a guy 1 on 1, and it did nothing for me...which has left me confused. I literally couldn't even get it up when he was giving me head, and tried to laugh it off as stage fright and nerves but the truth was I wasn't turned on.

    The sex was awful tbh, but even looking past that, I just wasn't into it at all, and reflecting now I feel like I only enjoyed the last time because it was my first threesome, it was new and exciting, and maybe I was only hard because a girl was there too?

    I'm starting to feel like I'm 100% straight. Is that even possible for someone's sexuality to change over time? I wouldn't have thought so! Maybe it's just a case of the reality not living up to the fantasy....

    1505162766
    Bigtrak [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1648
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2010

    Yes I believe you can change. I was incredibly against homosexuals as a teen. But now in my early 40's find Penises a massive turn on, although not on a man as such but on a T girl, and would happily suck or take in that situation. The younger me would be disgusted. My mind has developed and opened up massively to this colourful world we live in.

    1505235581
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1341
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    Hmmm I see what you're saying but it's a bit off-track from where I'm coming from. I think a person having homophobic views when they are young is borne out of ignorance, and those views have often been ingrained through upbringing & peer pressure, and change when that person gets older.

    1505244254
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 11821
    • Joined: 20 Aug 2014

    I think the last sentence of your post sums it up Squid. I don't see why a person's sexual orientation can't change but this experience happened quite a while ago I've no doubt that you've relived it in your mind quite a few times. You probably assumed that as you enjoyed the MMF threesome that you would automatically be attracted to, and enjoy sex with a man. You were probably more attracted to the experience rather than the participants xx

    1505245582
    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 848
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2012

    I think sexuality can change over time. I identified as, and felt, straight until around 2-3 years ago. The thought of sex with a woman did nothing for me, although I used to find girls attractive. Whereas now I'm sexually attracted to girls and I enjoy sleeping with girls. I don't think I've ever been 100% anything, I fall somewhere between straight and gay. People change, and so can their feelings - just go with the flow I say!

    1505246043
    Scoob [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 344
    • Joined: 16 Feb 2015

    *sexybabe* wrote:

    I think sexuality can change over time. I identified as, and felt, straight until around 2-3 years ago. The thought of sex with a woman did nothing for me, although I used to find girls attractive. Whereas now I'm sexually attracted to girls and I enjoy sleeping with girls. I don't think I've ever been 100% anything, I fall somewhere between straight and gay. People change, and so can their feelings - just go with the flow I say!

    I love how the last sentence rhymes! You're a poet and you don't know it
    1505247434
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1341
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    Terri JJ wrote:

    I think the last sentence of your post sums it up Squid. I don't see why a person's sexual orientation can't change but this experience happened quite a while ago I've no doubt that you've relived it in your mind quite a few times. You probably assumed that as you enjoyed the MMF threesome that you would automatically be attracted to, and enjoy sex with a man. You were probably more attracted to the experience rather than the participants xx

    I think you're on the money there Terri xxx
    1505247968
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1717
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Sexuality is a fluid thing, and one thing I have learned is you can't make it be what you want it to be, try and quantify it; or put it in a box with a label on it. You have been open to to in the past; but i suspect you went out of your way to try and see what it is in you.

    Now you are doubting yourself; in a word "don't", it is what it is at any moment, if you put yourself in the I'm "straight only" box, at some point down the line a guy may come along and you will either not be open to it, or you will be tormenting yourself with this confused feeling all over again.

    Just let it be what it wants to be, don't feel a need to be "anything", just be you, and don't over think things. You could find yourself in bed with a woman next, and who's to say it won't be the same as it was with this guy recently. Don't forget you have just come out of a relationship, whith all the emotional trauma that entails. You are not going to understand the impact of that for some time yet; some people move on from one preson to the neext at a drop of a hat, you may not be that kind.

    You will not know what thoughts lurk in the back of your mind, that can stop you from feeling the way you would in other cirumstances. Guilt over being with a guy after being with your OH, could have changed how that encounter went, and you not even be really aware that it's there. Or maybe things were as Terri just said. The point I'm trying to make is don't try and analise this, it wasn't for you, at this time, with this person. But you don't need to re-label yourself, to try and make sence of what it was, and what your feelings about it make you into.

    What does it matter, who you are attracted to, or not; just be you and let time and circumstance decide; and be open to things that come along, with who ever that maybe.

    I have spent and waisted a life time, trying to analise who and what I'm am, with regards to my sexuality. Was I straight but liked guys, because of something being abused did to me. Did I find myself turned of sexually by women, because I was raped be 5 of them; or because I'm really a straight woman, and didn't really understand that until recently. The list goes on, the more you analise it the longer and more convoluted it gets.

    Only now when most of my life is over, do I realise that all that doesn't matter, all that matter is that I like human beings, if they are nice, kind and honest, etc, and it doesn't matter wether they have a male body or a female body, or bits of both. I just want to be seen and loved as a woman, by someone. I don't belong in one of societies little boxes, that only serve to try and put me into a place that makes others more comfortable with their own sense of self.

    1505299055
    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 848
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2012

    I hadn't spotted that Scoob! I may have a hidden talent for rhyming 👍🏼😂😂

    1505300740
    AmyA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 170
    • Joined: 21 Feb 2016

    For a while I identified as bi, then that didn't seem to quite fit, there was something I definitely found fascinating about females but I just couldn't work out what it was I wanted from that, so I eventually thought I must be straight after all, especially once I started playing with toys (I haven't had an actual partner) and knew I really wanted the penetration, I was still very much attracted to the male form. However, although lady part squick me somewhat, my own included lol, I am still very fond of boobs and still become fascinated by certain females. I could identify as hetroflexible but, and this is my point (finally) and re-iterating what others have said, it doesn't matter, I haven't fallen in love with either a male or female yet, maybe when I do (doubtful) it will be a man, maybe it will be a lady but I wouldn't want to miss or dismiss anything because of some pre-concieved idea or label I have given myself.

    Not entirely sure if any of that is relevant or helpful but there it is.

    1505315665
    Tallish Darkish & Average [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1754
    • Joined: 24 Oct 2012

    My two pence worth, may get a bit graphic but I'll try and keep it as tasteful as possible.

    After I split I had an itch that needed scratching and found a willing companion or two on fab. Now, a few reasons why chose a couple. One, couldn't pull a single female, two was worried about falling madly in love with the next lady who undressed in front of me there and then, three, with a couple, the man there would assure me it wasn't going any further, sex with him and the wife, good time for all. Anyway we hit it off and have had a few sessions however on one occasion things went a bit further than I hoped.

    I was receiving oral from her while he was taking her from behind, we were led on my bed, he then re positioned himself to lie on her and kiss her neck while still in her, she still doing her thang on me, he then went to take over from her and I freaked and froze and that was pretty much that.

    Apologies were soon offered and accepted but I was definitely uncomfortable with that scenario, now plenty of people would have liked that, it wasn't for me, the sex with another couple was usually good, we got on well and respected everyone's boundaries up-to and from thereon (we have met since) but I know after that I definitely am straight.

    However. In the last year I have experimented with prostate play, I have a few things to assist and have in the past had sex while wearing a prostate massager but, I don't want to be penetrated or pegged, again I don't have a problem with anyone doing that if that's what they want and it's all consented to but several years ago I probably wouldn't have even entertained the idea. The same as I probably wouldn't have felt comfortable being nude and erect in the presence of another male several years ago. People do change and weather you identify now as straight, gay, bi, pan or just active to me, doesn't mean you will be forever. Experience counts for a lot imo and, I don't think trying new things makes you x, y, or z but continuing to indulge in these specific acts will or would.

    Just my thoughts hope it makes sense.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.