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  1. Almost an anal virgin

    1504661345
    secret_scarlett [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 77
    • Joined: 30 Apr 2012

    Hi guys,

    So I have never had any anal play or proper anal sex.

    I say 'proper' because I have had an incident in the throes of passion where we were going rough in doggy style and my OH slipped out and then slammed back into the wrong hole! My Lord it hurt!!! Almost had tears in my eyes and my poor bootyhole was bleeding for a couple of days after. Usually i love how girthy my partner is, however not so much on this occasion lol. So unsurprisingly this has put me off anal in the past... until now when I am curious about trying it.

    I have got the 50 shades butt plug and also a vibrating one with a remote. But I am pretty clueless on where to start... advice appreciated 🙂

    1504667037
    Senator [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 191
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2017

    If I remember correctly, Lovehoney has a blog "a beginners guide to anal" which covers things off pretty well, but -

    First, get yourself relaxed about it. Usually a little solo time may do the trick, a nice bath / warm shower and perhaps a glass of wine to get rid of any tension. Secondly, lube, and liberal amounts (whats the saying, too much is nearly enough).

    You might want to start with just a bit of external stimulation, get your arse used to the sensation of something back there, then once you are used to that, a finger or very slim toy probing gently into the area. Once you are used to that, then you can look at increasing the size of the toy.

    Slow n steady wins the race.

    Listen to you body, some discomfort may be normal, the feeling of being stretched back there is unusual, but it shouldn't "hurt", certainly not to the extent of bleeding, thats for sure.

    I think the 50shades plug is around 4inch circumfrence (?), this is possibly on the large side for a begniier. There are slimmer plugs that you can use to work up to it, dunno about the vibrating one youve mentioned.

    1504686826
    BigInBerks [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 212
    • Joined: 21 Aug 2017

    Sorry about the earlier experience - Senator has pretty much summed things up. It is going to hurt when it's sudden and without lube.

    With some patience and building up to it, you'll be able to take your OH and possibly enjoy it. Listen to your body. If something doesn't feel right, stop, have a break, try again. Do build up to it with toys.

    My wife and I have started the same journey. After the small butt plug (too small, but useful as a starting point) we moved on to the anal probe (https://www.lovehoney.com/product.cfm?p=2041) and anal starter dildo (https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35165). These are 4" circumference and 3.5". I'm 5.5", so we're almost there. Length might be another issue.

    My wife absolutely loves DP with a toy in her backside. I can't wait for DP with a vibrator in the front and me in the back. The feeling is unreal (I was fortunate enough to have anal-friendly gfs before meeting my wife).

    At the same time, my wife couldn't wait to start exploring my back-end. A few toys have been enjoyed and we've discussed pegging. It's only fair if the man receives too ;)

    1504690184
    BigEmma [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 53
    • Joined: 6 Jan 2015

    We have just got into anal sex, and I love it.
    I was so nervous at the beginning due to my first experience with an ex boyfriend, we were young and we had no idea what we were doing so it was painful. I was also tense so it made it much worse.
    This time around I did a lot of research first, I used the internet to look for tips and I also watched a few videos.
    I knew we had to take things slowly this time so we bought this butt plug set:
    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539
    While on order, my hubby-to-be inserted his finger into me to get me started. Once our butt plug's arrived we started with the smallest and quickly moved onto the medium. We used these until I was comfortable enough to move onto his penis. They were perfect for us. We still use them in our anal sessions as a build up to his penis as I can not have him insert me straight away yet. We now use this lube: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28345 This has been our favourite so far but there are lot's to try out.
    Hope my experience will help you out a little...xxx

    1504690481
    secret_scarlett [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 77
    • Joined: 30 Apr 2012

    Thanks for the advice, I was thinking of building up with toys so interesting that you suggest just stimulating with fingers etc first, ill try that.

    The toys I have are..

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=33557

    www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37730

    1504690520
    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 892
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2005

    Brilliant replies above which is hard to add too, but just remember it's not a race. Take your time and communication is key, if at any point things become really uncomfy then stop and try something smaller. Also I recommend buying a douche such as this one:
    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30997
    A clean bum doesn't only make things more hygienic but it's far more comfortable physically and mentally. A beginners butt plug set is a great place to start and I would recommend using a thick lubricant but not a desensitisation one to start with, only because you need to know your limits before you start stretching any part of your body. Once you have worked your way from a small to medium plug then you can take it from there. Good luck and have fun! Just remember to let your partner know if at any point it feels uncomfortable or hurts. The lovehoney blog has plenty of anal guides so have a look and a read when you can.

    1504690581
    Quiet_James [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 68
    • Joined: 12 Nov 2016

    You will love it

    1504706688
    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 210
    • Joined: 1 May 2016

    Only thing I will add is keep at it. I'd say if your interested in trying, commit to doing it 3-4 times at least before deciding if it's something you want to keep up. It takes a some practice to get right and the sensations when you have control and can really relax your muscles are a world apart from those first tense and anxious penetrations.

    1505175716
    secret_scarlett [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 77
    • Joined: 30 Apr 2012

    Hey, so I had a solo session to ease myself into anal. Loads of lube was a helpful tip, actually need to buy more now lol. I didn't have any problems with pain or stretching I was pleased to discover.

    When I built up to using toys I wasn't in pain but I wasn't feeling the pleasure I would expect either. Is this normal?

    I tried my glass dildo which has been reviewed well for anal play, it felt nice but no way would it bring me to climax. I used the 50 shades plug and that was great with that in whilst I used my vibrator as it made me feel full and tighter. But the anal play alone just didn't do the trick.

    My main question is for the women, can anal bring you to orgasm?

    1505199678
    AmyA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 263
    • Joined: 21 Feb 2016

    Apparently we can orgasm from anal alone, a number of ladies here have mentioned achieving it, unfortunately I'm not one yet. We don't have a prostate so the pleasure is from indirect stimulation of g-spot (there's only a thin wall between)

    Yes it's normal not to be that pleasurable to begin with, particularly when dealing with a sensation you are not used to.

    A lot of the pleasure is also the fuller feeling as you mention and how that can intensify orgasm. My favourite type of anal play so far is anal beads, pulling them out at the point of orgasm when using a dildo is the best, usually leaving me with very wobbly legs.

    As with most things it's a case of experimentation and practice.

    1505202095
    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 210
    • Joined: 1 May 2016

    secret_scarlett wrote:

    Hey, so I had a solo session to ease myself into anal. Loads of lube was a helpful tip, actually need to buy more now lol. I didn't have any problems with pain or stretching I was pleased to discover.

    When I built up to using toys I wasn't in pain but I wasn't feeling the pleasure I would expect either. Is this normal?

    I tried my glass dildo which has been reviewed well for anal play, it felt nice but no way would it bring me to climax. I used the 50 shades plug and that was great with that in whilst I used my vibrator as it made me feel full and tighter. But the anal play alone just didn't do the trick.

    My main question is for the women, can anal bring you to orgasm?

    Need to keep at it, at this point your body isnt sure what to think about it. Over a few more sessions it will learn and the sensations will become more arousing. My Partner orgasms from anal only but that didnt happen until after several times playing around. If your enjoying vaginal stimulation with a plug or beads and enjoying playing then your on the right track. One thing to try is sort of massaging your anus and when its relaxed, use your fingers to move around the outside and just inside and a little deeper and focus on what it feels like. This helps your brain key into those sensations in a different way from its normal operation.

    1505204233
    BigInBerks [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 212
    • Joined: 21 Aug 2017

    Anal by itself would need a lot of foreplay and getting someone aroused to give an orgasm by itself - but it's certainly possible (for men and women). Keep at it, keep enjoying it!

    We also started exploring anal (both of us!) recently. After being told to treat my wife as naughty and to punish her I introduced her to DP, with 2 toys. Then last Friday, while enjoying plain old doggy style she paused, turned around with a glint in her eye, and said 'do you know what this needs? Something in my arse!' - first DP involving me, although still in her front..

    Next step - me in her arse!

    1505222555
    capt [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 5 Jul 2014

    My wife is adamant that she doesn't want anything to do with anal sex on her... however... over a very long time, I have now built up to being able to use a finger to rub over the outside of her asshole during oral/hands, and it really turns her on and tips her over the edge. I have once or twice pressed a finger in a few millimetres when she's really turned on and there's lube or her fluid around as well, and again, it seems to be a massive turn on when she's relaxed, with a many months slowly building up to it, and when she's in the zone. I think these are the keys: lubricant, relaxation, not rushing, and finding what's pleasurable around that area. It's definitely worthwhile investigating!

    1505222555
    capt [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 5 Jul 2014

    My wife is adamant that she doesn't want anything to do with anal sex on her... however... over a very long time, I have now built up to being able to use a finger to rub over the outside of her asshole during oral/hands, and it really turns her on and tips her over the edge. I have once or twice pressed a finger in a few millimetres when she's really turned on and there's lube or her fluid around as well, and again, it seems to be a massive turn on when she's relaxed, with a many months slowly building up to it, and when she's in the zone. I think these are the keys: lubricant, relaxation, not rushing, and finding what's pleasurable around that area. It's definitely worthwhile investigating!

    1505222555
    capt [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 5 Jul 2014

    My wife is adamant that she doesn't want anything to do with anal sex on her... however... over a very long time, I have now built up to being able to use a finger to rub over the outside of her asshole during oral/hands, and it really turns her on and tips her over the edge. I have once or twice pressed a finger in a few millimetres when she's really turned on and there's lube or her fluid around as well, and again, it seems to be a massive turn on when she's relaxed, with a many months slowly building up to it, and when she's in the zone. I think these are the keys: lubricant, relaxation, not rushing, and finding what's pleasurable around that area. It's definitely worthwhile investigating!

    1505222555
    capt [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 17
    • Joined: 5 Jul 2014

    My wife is adamant that she doesn't want anything to do with anal sex on her... however... over a very long time, I have now built up to being able to use a finger to rub over the outside of her asshole during oral/hands, and it really turns her on and tips her over the edge. I have once or twice pressed a finger in a few millimetres when she's really turned on and there's lube or her fluid around as well, and again, it seems to be a massive turn on when she's relaxed, with a many months slowly building up to it, and when she's in the zone. I think these are the keys: lubricant, relaxation, not rushing, and finding what's pleasurable around that area. It's definitely worthwhile investigating!

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