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  1. Old age or just a dry spell?

    1504231934
    TheHoodedPearl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 6 Apr 2010

    Hey there,

    Anyone else experienced this?
    I'm starting to notice that although my sex drive is as high as ever, it takes me longer to come these days. I used to have concentrate to not squirt if I didn't want to, now I can rarely manage it at all.
    My orgasms don't feel as powerful. I'm in my 30s but I don't want to believe that this is it for me now!!

    Thanks for reading!

    1504248453
    Mummabear [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 18 Feb 2017

    As a more mature person I think you will find that this is just a phase, I found too many other things got in the way in my thirties, was pretty much celibate in my forties and early fifties and am now having the most fun of my life, and taking longer to come just adds to the pleasure

    1504251015
    Couple looking to spice things up [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3296
    • Joined: 22 Jul 2015

    Has anything else happened recently that could be causing you stress? If not maybe you could try something new to get your kicks, so to speak. I really wouldn't worry from what I've read things get better as we get older!

    1504264131
    Sole [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 10 Aug 2016

    There are many things that can affect your sexual response. Age is one of them, but I don't think yours is enough to be doing that. Any distress or change in your life that's steeling some of your head space, many medicines including birth control but not only (and also when you change from one to another), forgeting to do kegels for a while (specially if you have been practising high impact sports like step, running...). And if none of this resonates to you, maybe you could accept this is a differente stage and you can find the good part of it, i.e. taking more time to pleasure yourself or to be pleasured, or searching for differente ways to squirt, as going for a second orgasm, or trying G-spot stimulating creams.

    1504269493
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Are you using the same methods to get off each time?

    Sometimes our preferences change and we need to explore different things to find new ways to orgasm. It might be worth giving a go if it's something you're not doing at the moment.

    As others have said, lots of things can get in the way of sex. Stress being a major one. Maybe try some relaxing activities like a nice warm bath or massage before attempting to get your rocks off?

    1504276053
    Aims85 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 14 Dec 2016

    Old age is in your 30's.. I hope not 😂

    I would imagine it's just an off spell or stress in your life etc.

    Like nat and tom said could be that your body needs a change, maybe try a new position or toy xx

    1504296517
    chisel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
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    • Joined: 4 Nov 2015

    My wife is of a mature age ( 60+ ) and is so very far away from being dry. She is permanately moist and sometimes dripping when sex is on the tables ( not literally ) and when she squirts it pours out of her, so it can't be an age thing. Speaking as a mere 70+ years man, I'm still very active with an erection still tight to my stomach and passed my belly button which gets used several times a week, so we don't think its anything to do with age, its all in the mind. Now my wife has just read this and wasn't too pleased that Ive told you her age and told me I'm not getting any tonight !!!

    1504297750
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    chisel wrote:

    My wife is of a mature age ( 60+ ) and is so very far away from being dry. She is permanately moist and sometimes dripping when sex is on the tables ( not literally ) and when she squirts it pours out of her, so it can't be an age thing.

    Not necessarily true. Women have different levels of natural lubrication and it has nothing to do with how aroused they are. Some women naturally produce less. I'm in my 20's and barely produce any naturally (even when I'm incredibly aroused) because of the meds I take. Even before I took meds I didn't self lubricate much. It's just the way my body works. :-(

    A lot of women can lack in lubricant during the pre menopause stages too. My mother started menopause at around 41 and asked me for lube as she knows I have always got lots on hand!

    It's great to hear that your wife doesn't have any issues with self lubricating and you have no issues maintains an erection. Also wonderful that you're still so sexually active. I applaud that. I do agree with you that this situation could be a mind thing though, rather than an age one.

    1504301385
    TheHoodedPearl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 6 Apr 2010

    Thanks to everyone who replied, I really appreciate it.

    @mummabear Glad to hear your dry spell cleared up! Thanks for the new position/toy suggestion (you too @Aims85) I recently purchased a new clit vibe but am hoping this blip clears up so I can give it a good work out, I'd hate to feel disappointed by it!

    @chisel I'm very impressed and a little envious of your libido, especially at the moment! I hope your wife comes round soon!

    @Sole and @NatandTom Thank you both for your thoughtful and insightful advice. I can't believe I didn't consider other factors like stress or medication. It makes sense! I was beginning to worry that I'd become desensitised to my vibe. It can happen can't it? What happens then do people just buy more and more powerful ones?

    1504391875
    Sole [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 10 Aug 2016

    I was beginning to worry that I'd become desensitised to my vibe. It can happen can't it? What happens then do people just buy more and more powerful ones?

    It's not likely to happen. Dangerous lilly in her blog did a personal research about this topic that may be helpful

    http://dangerouslilly.com/2016/09/vibrator-abstinence-rant/

    I'm quite older than you are (48) and I own some of the most powerful vibrators, oscilators and suction toys. I use them regularly (daily if I manage to find time) and I can still make myself orgasm manually (when I need to keep things discreete) in the same amount of time that I used to previously. Meaning: sometimes faster, sometimes slower, but in the range of 12 to 17 minutes. Thing is that with the right toys I can orgasm in 5 or 6 minutes, and when you get used to that, the ol' methods seem to take longer ;) but, timer in hand, they don't.

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