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  1. Advice

    1504196343
    JohnnyDoe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 21
    • Joined: 30 Mar 2016

    Hey guys,

    Just wondering if anyone has some stories/experiences/advice that may help me.

    Ultimately I would like to have longer-lasting, harder erections. I'm not after an increase in size necessarily, I'm lucky enough to be fairly well endowed (a shade over 9" erect) and so I think an increase in length is probably unnecessary.
    That said I do sometimes find I struggle a little to get to that size as I'm not "fully engoreged" so to speak. Moreover, I think it'd be great for sex to have more control over myself, I often find that I'll do foreplay for so long and I'll get so excited that I go crazy when actual sex is involved and it's all over in a couple of minutes. I can normally pace myself if I really concentrate, but it'd be good to relax a bit and do what comes naturally without worrying I'll bring it to an abrupt end.

    Hence I'm asking the LH community if they are aware of any permanent alterations I could make, or general advice to last longer and be harder/stronger - e.g. has anyone done kegel exercises, do they really work? Has anyone used a bathmate, is it actually permamnent? Cream? Pills? etc. etc.

    For clarification, when I say permanent, I mean that if I were to stop doing whatever it is people suggest I do, will there still be an improvement from before I began.

    Thanking you :)

    1504197475
    BigInBerks [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 212
    • Joined: 21 Aug 2017

    'Fairly well endowed' at over 9"

    Speaking as someone who is just under 8" - I'm considered on the pretty big side ;)

    I also suffer from 'switching off' - foreplay and sex can be a long and tiring business. And there are moments when sex isn't happening because of logistical issues. I'm also more of a morning person than an evening person. For that reason, my wife and I have just invested in little blue pills as a trial for long evening sessions (which are the more likely times to have fun, once the kids are asleep).

    Good luck!

    1504197664
    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 515
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2015

    Hi there,

    I'm not sure about exercises for long term change.

    Have you tried cock rings? They help to increase the size of the erection by keeping the blood inside so it comes more engorged. They also help you to stay hard for longer and delay ejaculation. Since these are both things you are after I would think buying a good quality cock ring would be a great place to start. I recommend a silicone adjustable one.

    Hope this is helpful.

    1504197776
    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 892
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2005

    Hey and welcome johnny,
    Unfortunately most penis pumps are temporary and will after some time take you back to what your original size is, however They do help increase blood flow which will give you stronger and bigger erections, the bathmate is excellent for this and can increase girth for a few days after use. I have a review on the Bathmate as I found this to be the best pump on the market.

    Other methods You can try is using cock rings to achieve a longer lasting erection or try some of natures remedies such as adding zinc into your diet. As for lasting longer you could buy some delay spray/lubricant from lovehoney which work extremely well or you could buy a fleshlight to practice on. A lot of people do edgeing exercises, so you simply get yourself to the point just before orgasm and then stop, keep repeating this a few times a day for a couple of weeks and it may help lasting a little longer. Also try adding some jelqing exercises into your routine, you can find plenty of guides online for this and may be worth investigating.

    1504202710
    JohnnyDoe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 21
    • Joined: 30 Mar 2016

    Thanks for your replies so far :)

    @BigInBerks
    I don't really switch off.. It's more like I... blow a fuse xD Will you let me know if the pills work - I had also considered this. (And also which ones you use).

    @Jezebella
    I have used one before, I bought this:
    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22186
    a year or so ago, only used it once though because it was tight as hell... I vaguely remember it did make me harder, but it was so damn tight it was uncomfortable.
    What dyou mean an adjustable one?

    @LIL_KNOWN69
    As I said, I'm not looking to be "bigger" not in length anyway. Are you saying that after the cesation of using a pump that the erections will continue to be stronger? I hadn't considered a delay spray but again, it's only a temporary fix is it not?
    I'll try edging, I have done that before.. Not sure if it helped me last longer though.
    I've heard some bad things about jelqing- like you can introduce a curve etc.? Have you tried it?

    Thanks

    1504203107
    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 515
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2015

    JohnnyDoe wrote:


    @Jezebella
    I have used one before, I bought this:
    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22186
    a year or so ago, only used it once though because it was tight as hell... I vaguely remember it did make me harder, but it was so damn tight it was uncomfortable.
    What dyou mean an adjustable one?

    Yeah, I thought you might struggle with none adjustable ones being the size you are. Here's an example of an adjustable one: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28652" Basically you can change the size of it to fit you, so you can get it tight enough to be effective but not so tight that it hurts. If you'd like it to vibrate there's also this one: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35132"
    1504205287
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1761
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    There have been a number of guys come on here with the opposite problem to what you have; and for the most part it could be put down to heavy handed masturbation making it hard for them to get off through PIV sex, because they become used to the strong sensations a hand can produce.If you were careful not to over do it and end up with that opposite problem it may help your situation. So frequent masturbation may help you not only to learn control ( edging) but help to quench your passion so to speak.

    Other things you can do are keep changing positions, as the time it takes to change can give you a short break from stimulation, letting you cool off so to speak. Try as many different positions as you can think of, and see if there are any which don't do it for you quite so much. so you can use this position to start with and switch to one which turns you on more to finnish; you may of course like them all as much as each other, but it may be worth a try.

    If you get more stimulation from what you are seeing as many guys do, you could try being blindfolded; but again some people find that more of a turn on.

    Try the old trick of thinking about something other than what you are doing, eventually you can learn to control the intensity of your sexual thoughts during sex, if you keep trying.

    Yes pelvic muscle exersizes can strenthen your erection; but do you clench your pelvic floor muscles during sex in an atempt to harden your erection ? doing this increases the strength of your erection at that moment, and so can make you come faster, if you do, you can try not to do this during sex, it may help. You may find that doing several of such things at the same time will give better control than just trying to use one.

    Find out if there are any thrusting techniques that give you less stimulation, such as short and shallow in between slow, longer deeper thrusts, or full withdrawal after each thrust, or full penetration and more grind your hips than in out thrusting, your OH may like this, as if you get it right it can give good clitoral stimulation, and give you minimum stimulation on your shaft.

    You don't say how long you last but, I remember LH Jess commenting a while ago that the average is only 5 or 6 minutes. It can be as much about all the other things that you can do in lovemaking, rather than just concentrating on PIV sex. It's just getting your head round it' as nature tells you that PIV sex is what you should be doing.

    Put some oral on her, etc, inbetween possition changes, to keep her going, and give you time to cool off. Sort of foreplay in short spells, between short spells of PIV sex.

    Can you go several times in a session, or are you done after your first climax? Many guys find that they take longer each time they go again. getting off at the start from oral on you or masturbation, then focusing on foreplay for her; and come back to PIV. Also masturbating just before sex for the same effect.

    A penis pump will improve blood flow and help your erection, combined with keggels.

    If you are still having trouble, it is worth noting that it likley won't be an instant fix, it will be something you have to learn over time, and with continued persiverence. A one time fix is not likely I'm sorry to say.

    Cock rings: you could measure your girth and check on the size of a ring before buying. Also LH cust care will be able to help you with how soft the material of the ring is; sounds like the one you got was to small for you, and or not stretchy enough for your comfort.

    I have experience of the adjustable ones coming loose, especially when things get wet, and also if you tense you pelvic muscles, and your penis is one to increase in girth a good bit for a second, when you do this.

    1504222290
    JohnnyDoe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 21
    • Joined: 30 Mar 2016

    @Jezebella
    Thanks for that :) I might order one soon and give it a try :)

    @Alica4Ever
    Thank you for taking the time to write such a comprehensive response! I have tried some of the things you mentioned and will try some of the others :) Some things ring true and some things are different for me.. I guess I'll just keep trying different things.. But you think a penis pump will help in terms of strength/hardness?

    1504223115
    MK7 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 417
    • Joined: 21 Sep 2015

    Are you on any sort of medications? There's plenty that inhibit sexual performance. That might be a cause.

    1504226903
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1761
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    JohnnyDoe wrote:

    @Jezebella
    Thanks for that :) I might order one soon and give it a try :)

    @Alica4Ever
    Thank you for taking the time to write such a comprehensive response! I have tried some of the things you mentioned and will try some of the others :) Some things ring true and some things are different for me.. I guess I'll just keep trying different things.. But you think a penis pump will help in terms of strength/hardness?

    From what I understand a penis pump is usually the first thing a GP would sugest to try help wil ED, so yes it will. Wether you get a basic type or one of the hydro pumps is down to what you can afford, the basic one will do for improving things for you. You are more likely to get an increase in girth than length; but will not be permanent.

    The pump will encourage blood flow into the penis, but the penis also has a mechanism to ristrict the flow of blood out, which also keeps the erection harder. ED is often a psychological, but as you have it with kind of prem ejaculation I don't think thats your problem; how ever there could be some link to your thoughts regarding how you don't like how fast you climax, with a softening of your erection. The subconcious mind can be quite the counter productive influence on the physical body, so don't rule it out all together.

    There are a number of physiological problems that can cause weak erections, as others have said, medications, but also being over weight, diabetes, and others that would require your GP to explain. It wouldn't hurt to speak to your GP, don't feel uncomfortable about speaking to them, they really have heard it all so many time before.

    Also don't look for one thing to fix this, you are much better to combine as many different techniques as you can. So don't dismiss something that doesn't work on it's own.

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