• Beautiful Scars: What's your story?

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    tronic [sign in to see picture]
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    I have loads of little ones being a rough and tumble type of a fellow. A few on the hands, knuckles, palms etc.

    One weeny one on my left middle finger pad is great, I worked in a kitchen and was peeling lots of vegetables before service and slipped with the peeler and neatly excised a sweetcorn sized chunk of skin. The skin never came back and it healed as granular tissue, i.e. the fingerprint is missing there, it is just random dots!

    I cut through my thumb with a stanley knife once too and it was only my fingernail that kept it from going right through - it was nasty as i lost all feeling in the tip for quite a while until it healed. That makes me wince to think of! The scar hardly shows now.

    I am not a self-harmer in the traditional sense (thats what I feel anyway) though I have been in that ball park recently. I've been having some mental health problems which I am ashamed of in general (apparently normal when in this state) but part of the reason for joining this forum was to try to be more open about things and so there it is on the table! I'm being brave (and yeah I know this isn't my private therapy forum so please accept my apologies if it is offensive to you)

    The normal thing which happens when I am under a lot of stress or having an episode of anxiety is quite gross and I haven't done it for a while but (look away if you are squeamish) I pull out my toenails. It hurts like hell but then it's like. 'aaah' and relax. I never thought of it as self harm it was just something I did but on reflection it is quite a strange behaviour, so I'm trying to stop it! Jeez re-reading that it does sound really wierd! Sorry if it made anyone feel sick!

    I have some others from a couple of operations etc. but they're not very exciting. Oh and a 1.5" one on my left shin - when i was a kid i made an ice slide in the garden then slid on it and went smack into a wall-corner with my left shin. It wasn't a cut but the flesh folded over itself somehow and ended up leaving a quite wide scar which dips in quite a bit. I did cry like a baby when that happened if I remember but I was only about 12 so probably fair enough,

    I totally agree with the small imperfections being really special, they are like little signatures and I love them on my OH and fing them really fascinating.

    1267902627
    BumLovingCriminal [sign in to see picture]
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    I unfortunately have some self-harm scars on my thighs, and a scar on my left wrist where I tried to cut it.(The same as another member on here actually, does that make us Scar Sisters? ) I suffered from depression in my teens. My mother is an alcoholic and violence was commonplace in my home.It was a really dark place in my life but with the help of Mr BLC I'm not even the same person anymore. Although I'm incredibly self concious of them, those scars remind me that no matter how shitty (pardon my French) life gets, I've probably already gotten through worse!

    I have an unexplained scar down the back of my left leg, and one just under my knees from walking into a sheet of glass propped up in a friend's attic. A few scars are old remnants of piercings I got bored of or that grew out. I have a scar on my foot from swimming in Llanberis lake when I was younger, which I love, it reminds me of simpler times.

    Also I have my tattoos, which remind me of people I love, and my ivy tattoo, which shows my resilience. No matter how to cut me down, I'll always come back! x

    1267904484
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I like when people take the positivity from their dark days! It's admireable and reminds me to be strong because some people have had a lot worse than me and are still so positive!

    My brother has slashed his wrist open accidently at work - it will look like a harming scar when it heals although he never has. I know people are ashamed of them but the way I see it - it proves you got through the other side!

    My favourite quote is -

    Those that matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter!

    Ax

    1267904531
    bigbrownblowjobeyes [sign in to see picture]
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    My hands are covered - both index fingers where I nearly managed to chop them off (one whilst working in a kitchen the other with a craft scapel at college).

    Theres a biggie on my right hand knucled where I put my hand through a pint glass - it was in the bottom of the sink while washing up and I didn't see it there I was a week overdue with bubba no2 at the time and was sat in a&e contracting like a train - they didn't know where to put me, emergency or maternity. There was blood everywhere! I can laugh now but was NOT amused at the time.

    The other big one is across my lower belly from having the two c-sections with the babies.

    I've got other odd bits - inc one on my nipple from a very short liveed piercing but that's barely ntoitcable due to where it is

    Oh yes, a small one on the sole of my foot from when I was a kid. I stepped on a bit of wood - wearing just flipfops - not noticing the nail sticking out it went right through - nailing the wood to the bottom of my foot. OUCH.

    I wasn't sure whether to mention the others - just a few very light ones which fortunately are muddled into my stretchmarks now. I got them for similar reasons to people here. It was a long time ago and I never mention them normally Even mo OH hasn't noticed (Ithhink) due to the stretchmarks.

    1267904913
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    bigbrownblowjobeyes wrote:

    My hands are covered - both index fingers where I nearly managed to chop them off (one whilst working in a kitchen the other with a craft scapel at college).


    I too am incompetent with craft knives and kitchen tools! Lets start a club!

    Stabby Hands Anonymous.

    1269210524
    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    Hugs Loves huni xxx

    I also have self harm scars, on the insides of my arms and the sides of my thighs they still show... they have taken years to lighten and in some places fade away but not everywhere. They were also from depression etc (obviously duh lol) I had a nervous breakdown between the ages of 18-22.

    I also have stretch marks from my son who will be 5 this year, and a pregnancy that I miscarried at 4 months after that didnt help..

    I have cellulite (who doesnt? )

    I'm a walking relief map! lol mmm sexy lol

    1269220141
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    ive posted before but i feel slightly more able to say what it all is about more mow, so please egnore if you whish so.my pearents were emotionally abusive and distant when i was younger. i never realised this till about summer of '09. During my teens my sister became hell to live with. she was physically violent towards me and my pearents and just used to make it hard cohabiting the same house with her. combining this with my mothers controling nature and my dads ability to just egnore everything made it increadibly awkward to live in that house. As my sisters behaviour became more erratic there was more and more pressure on me to be better acidemically and with my behaviour. When we argued id often get told that my pearents could do nothing to stop my sister strangling me or pulling my hair out. I was expected to be good at school, despite being badly bullied and what was going on at home. some of the abuse was sexual assault ( grabbing my breasts and bum and making verbal lude comments) and if it was a workplace could certainly be classed as sexual assault.

    I've always used pain as a way to deal with frustration, and biting the back of my hand didnt cut it with all that was going on at home and school, so at 13 i started cutting myself with a saftey pin. by the time i was 16 ish this had gotten progressivley onto razors, as the pressure from school and home got worse. the one that i remember clearly was when i was sitting at the computer. crying and listening to songs, while my pearents and sister were physically hitting each other and screaming. I have a lot of scars on my arms, from just above the elbow to the wrist on each side, and some on my ankles and knees from where my mother used to find them on my arms.

    Mum always used to threaten that if i asked for help, or told anyone of how our family was that i'd be laughed at or sectioned, and even in my adult life it has made me scared to get help when i need it. the time that made me certain i needed to quit was when i was writing my a level history coursework. as per usual i'd been left to my own devices while all the others in my class had been spoon fed their work. i wrote it that night i couldnt concentrate as my pearents and sister were yet again arguing. i couldnt find a razor to dismantle, so i just took a lighter and held the flame to my skin. it was a way of coping, it cleared my mind so i could do the work, and try to egnore the histerics and physical attacks of my sister on me. the porblem came later, when the burn got infected, and i couldnt seek help for it. mother eventually saw it, but swallowed the story that it was an infected bug bite! its been bearly a year since i halmed with an impliment, a sewing needle on the 21st june 2009, and im hoping i can get to the anniversary whithouht huring myself. its proving harder to stop biting myself since ive done it since i was about 3 years old (or younger) but im sure i will get there eventually.

    1269221121
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    SL - I'm not really online, just a quick scan over new posts and no time to reply properly, but I just had to say *hugs* for what you've been through, congratulations on making it so long without cutting and for trying to stop harming all together. Thank you for sharing with us too! I also want to say that I see you as one of the stronger people on these forums so I'm sure you can make it 'til June 21st, keep at it! For me, I find cleaning works a treat. When I feel like I'm going to cut, I use my energy to tidy, clean, rearrange furniture...anything energetic. My cutting is anger related though so I have a lot of aggresive energy that needs burning up.

    *Hugs*

    Ax

    1269221273
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    thank you so much adnaw *hugs*. ive never let anything beat me, and im not going to let this. music is the key for me. esp my chemical romance's "famous last words" and i have a stress relief jack skellington head which gets used a lot!

    1269288672
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    sweetlove666 wrote:

    thank you so much adnaw *hugs*. ive never let anything beat me, and im not going to let this. music is the key for me. esp my chemical romance's "famous last words" and i have a stress relief jack skellington head which gets used a lot!

    All about what works for you! I have every faith in you *hugs*

    Ax

    1269380868
    Honeytongue [sign in to see picture]
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    Good luck Loves huni. Take each day as it comes. I think this is a really powerful thread as it is giving so many people the chance to know that they're not alone. I've got self harm scars.I have self harmed for most of my life - since I was raped at age 11. I stopped self harming last May and made a bargain with myself to never do it again at the end of July. To seal my deal with myself I got the tattoo on my back that I had wanted for years.

    1269457448
    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hiya stranger! Gotta shoot off now but had to say Hello to you girl. I hope you're doing well mate.

    Look after yourself sexy legs!

    SG69 x

    1269465289
    Pickledtink [sign in to see picture]
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    My favourite is about 3.5" (used to be longer i thinkk but has slowly faded) aand was a result of managing to run into barbed wire fence!

    Good times.

    1269600816
    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    i have quite a few scars, mainly from self harm which i havnt done in a while but unfortunatly cant say im recovered from as im still fighting urges as i swore, not that i wouldnt do it again to my OH but that i would tell him and i just keep telling myself how hard it would be! i have a scar on my belly from having my appendixs out when i was 14, a burn on my hand from school when my friend squeezed a glue gun over me lol one next to my eye fom falling and cracking myself off the damn curb, many stretch marks from being pregnant with my son as he was mahooooosive and im dinky and again thanks to my son an episiotmy scar aswell as various tear scars wich i think look like a pwetty star lol

    and like everyone else who's commented i love them all, they either made me what i am today, gave me what i have today saved my life or gave me a bloody good giggle! and despite a few minor issues im very happy right now and am happy with who i am :D xxxx

    1269627582
    diamonds [sign in to see picture]
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    no more since my last post, but this time next month i shall have about 5 new ones! :-/ being key hole atleast they should be samll! lol

    Dxx

    1269627947
    OperationFilth [sign in to see picture]
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    D, key hole is good, means you'll feel better much quicker :) They'll only be dainty little things too :)

    SL, I relate on the SH stuff. Not the same triggers, but I do get the harming. I'm sure you'll make it to the anniversary safe and sound, seems like you're doing really well. It's far from easy to break the cycle, but it's worth it, I haven't for about 2 years now :)

    1269628215
    diamonds [sign in to see picture]
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    D, key hole is good, means you'll feel better much quicker :) They'll only be dainty little things too :)

    thats good then, though its so hard to think they can do majour surgery with just 5 small cuts! its just mind blowing that can do that.

    Dxx

    1269630172
    OperationFilth [sign in to see picture]
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    Mine would have been keyhole if I'd not had the pancreatis pseudocysts too (An after effect of Pancreatitis, nasty cyst type things - 2 of them with 3 pints of fluid between the two of them!!) mine could have been. Gall bladder ops normally are - but with the cysts needing draining too... It had to be what my surgeon referred to as "the full knife and fork job" - er.. cheers!

    1269641139
    Puppies77 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sweetlove, thx for feeling you can share with us. I could just give you a big hug. x

    1269689143
    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
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    a little off subject but every one on here is very honest about self harm and i was wondering......is it something you ever truelly recover from? i went 4 1/2years with out doing it, saw a councellor, managed to ween myself of the antidepressents etc etc and went through a truelly awfull time in 07 when i had my drink spiked and was raped and wasnt even empted to get the blades out again, i carried on, went back to the lovely councellor i had before and it seemed it had gone forever, then very recently i relapsed :(

    iv read about anorexia and mental disorders like that and the people say its something they will have to fight for the rest of there lives, it will always be in the back of there mind. is this the same thing? xxx

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