• New partner wants me to introduce my toy

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    smellycat19 [sign in to see picture]
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    So I've been seeing someone for a couple of months now, get on really well with each other in and out of the bedroom. The last time we were intimate he asked if I wanted to get my toy out (the faithful and trusty rabbit vibrator of course!) We talked before where he asked me previously if I had any toys so it wasn't a shock, but I politely refused and without explanation. I don't feel quite ready to introduce yet, and also feel as though I'd much rather keep it to myself (without sounding or trying to be selfish, but I just feel it's a personal experience kind of thing!)
    Just wondered what peoples thoughts on the subject are? Obviously I know lots of couples use toys in their sex lives with one another, but for me this soon seems a little early to be sharing the experience.

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    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey! If you feels it's too early then it's too early, don't ever feel you need to share your sacred toy as a lot of people like solo play to be totally discreet and a personal getaway. I'd suggest if your not ready to share your main toy then if you feel up for it just get a few simple toys like a bullet vibe to bring into the bedroom or even just a blindfold and some sexy dice.
    A lot of males do have a very strong visual attraction so he probably just wants to watch you play but as iv said to a few of my girlfriends, your not a pornstar and you shouldn't just perform for someone.
    Are you not ready for any toys with this partner or are you just not wanting to get my rabbit involved?

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    smellycat19 [sign in to see picture]
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    Not sure, probably no toys at the moment. I'm happy.for blindfolds/ties ect...
    Think its just the thought of having to perform in front of an audience so to speak, and I'm not sure if he'd know how to use it on me if I let him?! Although he seems far from inexperienced. I still feel in that awkward stage when you're still learning about each other and what the likes/dislikes are.

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    Sparklee [sign in to see picture]
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    Are you guys using toys together experimenting. It's only fair you share both your toys xxx

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    smellycat19 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Sparklee as far as I'm aware he doesn't have any toys of his own? I'm fairly confident he doesn't.xx

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    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    I would suggest just making it clear your not ready to share just yet, I have always said to myself if it doesn't feel right or it feels awkward then I just don't do certain things. Just don't feel pressure into doing things you don't want to do and be honest with your partner.
    Just enjoy the stages of finding eachother and maybe just introduce a blindfold or another game/accessory in the coming weeks to keep things exciting.

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    Sparklee [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi smelly cat. What makes you think he has some toys? How do you feel about that if he does xx

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    smellycat19 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sparklee, I.don't think he has any toys. It wouldn't bother or phase me if he did though and would gladly help out if he wanted me to!

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    smellycat19 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks LIL_KNOWN69. He never asked why I didn't want to and neither did I explain. I think he's realising I'm a bit tight lipped to get answers or explanations from when it comes to discussions ect... not for being prudish though. Just find it difficult/awkward to explain myself

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    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
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    Sparklee wrote:

    Hey sparklee, sorry to put a dampener on things, but this forum isn't for one to one dirty chat.

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    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
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    Smellycat, if it's too soon for you, that's cool. Just explain. If you want to keep your rabbit to yourself for now, that's entirely up to you sweetie.
    When you feel ready to explore using sex toys together, how about asking him to help you to choose something with you. That way you still get to keep your rabbit to yourself, but start to introduce toys with each other.
    If you don't think you'll ever want to use toys together further on in your relationship, let him know that you're fine with him having his own collection of toys.

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    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    Had to remove a few posts here. Consider this a warning to those involved. 

    Please take note of the forum rules: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/forum-rules/

    Thank you 

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    Couple looking to spice things up [sign in to see picture]
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    Relationships are as individual as we are. If the time isn't right or never will be to share toys that's fine. You says things are going well so I wouldn't worry, if it's something you feel you need to address just communicate with your other half. X

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Normally the problem is the other way round ie the guy feels threatened at ther introduction of a toy.

    So I say have fun with it . Dont forget whilst most toys are aimed at women they can also be used on guys as well . Just experiment and have fun.

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    Aims85 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think if you're not comfortable using your toys with him, let him know, it can be such a personal, intimate thing so I get why you're not sure, especially if it's a new relationship. You shouldn't feel pressured to do anything you're not OK with... If and when you feel ready you could get a new toy to discover together 😀

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    George the farmer [sign in to see picture]
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    If you want to keep your toys to yourself then you should, in time you might want to share toys with your partner and that will be when you decide. My OH share toys on a regular basis and find it can be fun and can help out when one person might be a bit tired and the other wants to play.

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    KirstyLee [sign in to see picture]
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    If you don’t feel ready then that’s perfectly fine!
    Maybe after some time you might decide you want to introduce them (or new ones chosen together) and maybe you won’t want to share, either choice is fine, not all couples share toys - when a relationship is in the early stages it’s better to get to know each other first and feel completely comfortable together :)

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    Onlyones [sign in to see picture]
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    If you are not comfortable with the idea especially as this is a new relationship then that is your choice and should be respected,if as the relationship progresses you feel more comfortable with the idea and decide the time is right to introduce either your toy or something you purchase specifically to use together that is also your choice.Also if you never feel comfortable with the idea of using toys together again that is entirely Your choice.

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