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  1. spanking needs

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    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 54
    • Joined: 30 Jan 2008

    well i have psoted here before and my wife has had one spanking session with me ages ago but i need to be spanked often. she does not like it says it is weird.

    What can i do to either to get her to spank me or other options. id really like to go to a swinging club and be spanked by a woman while she gets it on with another man

    1501444775
    LMEK [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 35
    • Joined: 22 Apr 2017

    How do you like to be spanked ? I have a lot of fantasies about this, but I'm not sure how they'd translate into reality. Have you read "Beauty's punishment"? Best spanking fantasy I ever read, so elaborate!

    1501445327
    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 54
    • Joined: 30 Jan 2008

    with a belt and a hand i need to be tied up and gagged really. i just want to go somewhere like swingers club with my wife and another woman can tie me up etc while the wife says how i am to be punished

    1501446789
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    What does your wife think about the idea of going to swingers clubs?

    1501447017
    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 30 Jan 2008

    she is not a fan! what other options if i still need to be spanked and she wont do it?

    1501447059
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 16 Jan 2016

    NatandTom wrote:

    What does your wife think about the idea of going to swingers clubs?

    Nat beat me to it - again!!!! Was going to ask this too.

    Regarding the spanking - if she think's it's weird and doesn't like it, then I don't think you should be trying to 'get' her to do it more often. I am afraid it may just not be her thing, and that's just the way it is. Trying to 'get' people to do things they don't like quite often ends badly.

    Have you had a discussion with her about it at all - without pressure?

    Xx

    1501447284
    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 54
    • Joined: 30 Jan 2008

    i have not had a discussion about it without pressure we are not in a good place at the moment and need to build things up gradually again maybe i should write down how i feel.

    i am just scared of pushing her away

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    stressedmale82 wrote:

    i have not had a discussion about it without pressure we are not in a good place at the moment and need to build things up gradually again maybe i should write down how i feel.

    i am just scared of pushing her away

    If you are not in a good place then may I suggest you concentrate on getting to a better place before broaching this with her - this kind of discussion could easily push her away.

    I think writing things down can be a very positive way sometimes - I wish you luck with however you decide to handle things - but honestly - leave the spanking issue for another time xxxx

    1501448359
    stressedmale82 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 30 Jan 2008

    ok will do. best ways to get back into a "good place " after bad arguments?

    1501449647
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 16 Jan 2016

    stressedmale82 wrote:

    ok will do. best ways to get back into a "good place " after bad arguments?

    Oh gosh - that's a tough one as everyone and every couple are different - also depends on what the argument was over.

    Without knowing you or your situation almost impossible to advise on - would hate to suggest something that could make things worse.

    Communication is so key - but needs to be done in a noninflammatory way - ie., no raised voices, no time constraints, no fear of being interrupted, no blame games etc etc.

    I wish I could make it better for you, but this is going to be down to some work from both you and your partner.

    Good luck xxx

    1501451286
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    It's good that your not pressurising your OH as then your activities cease to be consensual. You are probably best talking to find out what her objections are and then together try to work on them. I was a reluctant spanker but overcame my psyche objections by reading some books on the subject .My Mrs has had many detentions since then !

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    bondagegod [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 2 Feb 2015

    A lot of good advice has already been given. I think leaving spanking and swingers clubs are best left till your both in a better place. Communication is the key to get there and trying to resolve the situation after arguments has taken place. Only you know what your relationship is like and you to handle things and when is best to start talking again.

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    SmokingHotLove [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 197
    • Joined: 26 Apr 2015

    SM82 we all have our needs. But as others have pointed out, you need to concentrate on getting back to a good place. Whatever has caused you both to be in this bad place as well as arguing needs to be resolved first!
    Once you're back on track and comfortable with each other again, that will be when you can openly share your needs. And you may be surprised at how forthcoming she'll be.
    When it's good and couples are (both want to reciprocate) in tune with each other... to please is an instinct!
    Unfortunately we cannot have expectations or selfish desires when there's no even keel!
    Sort the problem in hand and the rest should follow AND come easily! Meeting all her desires should, in turn, ensure your needs are naturally met. Fix the problem then reap the rewards... All too often we assume or take for granted... we all need to feel loved/appreciated 👏 Rooting for you!

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    Lyndav71 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 258
    • Joined: 25 Feb 2017

    As everyone has said communication is key but more importantly I might suggest is working on building each others trust. Note communication is so much harder if there is a lack of trust or element of doubt. I'm talking about trust that you will accept each others feelings and not reject out of hand how the other feels.

    Writing thoughts down can be helpful, it can help you phrase and put across meaning and also for many people it is easier to express themselves in a clearer way. Also, if you give someone you thoughts to read it there is less chance of interruptions and more chance of being listened too.

    Maybe both of you write each other a letter about what is going on in your lives and how you feel about that and your hopes about the other person reading it.

    If its external pressures affecting your relationship communication is still key but work together and put and action plan in place to help you both deal/address overcome the problem.

    Good luck and keep us posted please.

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