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  1. Fantasy

    1501406648
    Sexyhot1234 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 15 Oct 2016

    What do you do when he fantasises about others ... And you feeling like he is more interested in other females more than yourself. You have found indication that he goes on to escort sites. But you have done everything possible to make him happy? Help a girl out please

    1501407242
    Wight*goddess [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 195
    • Joined: 29 Jan 2017

    Can you talk to him? Ask him what he likes about these sites. Dont come over like you're accusing him, it could be just the fantasy of the forbidden fruit. Guage what his reaction is.

    1501407705
    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 1 May 2016

    IMO, men fantasise about women, they fanatasise a lot about their partners, and they fantasise about other women as well. This is normal. This behaviour is normal and it's also worth considering that consensual non-monogamy is actually reasonably common, so maybe your partners actions are an expression of his desires to have sex with other women.

    Does it impact the way your partner treats you? Is he actually cheating on you? Using escort sites is different than using porn sites which are widely accessible. Why is he visiting the latter? Have you talked to him about it?

    If his behaviour is just about getting himself off, then it's not really something to worry about IMO, if he's using escorts behind your back, well that raises some serious issues and you need to have a talk and make some decisions about what kind of behaviours are acceptable to you.

    1501409911
    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4726
    • Joined: 17 Jul 2013

    Lots of people fantasise, I fantasise about other men and I bet my hubby fantasises about other women . It doesn't necessarily mean he's not into you .
    The escort sites thing maybe just a bit of curiosity, maybe one of his fantasies is sex with an escort and he's looking on there simply for a bit of titillation .
    You really need to talk to him about it , he might view it as just a bit of harmless fun but if it's worrying you then he needs to explain why he's doing it and also be honest as to whether it's gone any further than just looking .

    1501440744
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 12146
    • Joined: 20 Aug 2014

    wildflower wrote:

    Lots of people fantasise, I fantasise about other men and I bet my hubby fantasises about other women . It doesn't necessarily mean he's not into you .
    The escort sites thing maybe just a bit of curiosity, maybe one of his fantasies is sex with an escort and he's looking on there simply for a bit of titillation .
    You really need to talk to him about it , he might view it as just a bit of harmless fun but if it's worrying you then he needs to explain why he's doing it and also be honest as to whether it's gone any further than just looking .

    +1 xx

    1501458050
    LMEK [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 35
    • Joined: 22 Apr 2017

    He could be just looking for hints and tips on how to please YOU !

    I talk fantasy with my mates of the opposite sex to get ideas of how to please my other half better. And if my other half has likes I can't fathom, I ask those mates how to get a handle on it, and they explain it. And yes, I have asked sex workers' advice...

    I'd say don't jump to conclusions, let it run, keep your eyes open of course yet know there are many explanations for behaviour.

    People need to talk to many people to learn --- isn't that what we're doing on here?!

    1501460302
    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3060
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2012

    To quote your profile text:

    'Communication and honesty is key in a relationship'

    Talk to him, explain that it's making you feel uneasy. If you can't talk face to face, write it down in a letter.

    1501494486
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7159
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    This is one where you both need to talk . Fantasies are fine and we all have them regardless of gender . What you need to ascertain is to make sure that these fantasies are just that and not likely to develop further ie reality.

    The Escort fantasy could just well be that there is something missing in the bedroom . Again you need to find this out and perhaps you could turn this negative into a positive .

    But as the others have said communication is the key . Without it relationships can struggle .

    1501495237
    Foxiiuk [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 54
    • Joined: 21 Jan 2017

    All good advice from every one. I'd say ask him, we start most uncomfortable discussions/serious discussions via text because my OH finds it difficult to communicate sometimes and via text means he can can his time replying, which leads to face to face discussion. Don't accuse just be honest "XXX makes me feel xyz and it's affecting. Me/our relationship negatively"

    1501513519
    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 114
    • Joined: 1 May 2016

    Has the original post been deleted? I am unable to see it?

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