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  1. Pathetic question, but please!

    Mr Frustration [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 24 Jan 2011

    Has my wife had an orgasm?

    OK bear with me. This will seem pathetic to 99% of you on this site, (I apologise in advance) but I need to know.

    Long and short: in our late 50s, married as virgins at 22, wife never, ever, ever experiences sexual pleasure, never orgasmed. Ever.

    She was willing to try our Womanizer toy today so off we went. Towel down as normal. Empty house, no kids.
    Anyhow - she wriggled around a bit, did her usual "stop it, stop it now" but I persisted.
    Suddenly there's this warm moist aroma from her vaginal area and she stops wriggling. And more seriously says "stop, now".
    I could see a bit of white mucous in her folds.

    I got the message - enough was enough, stop. So we got on with our usual what comes naturally and finished. She was very slippy.
    Afterwards, cleaning up, we found a very wet patch the size of a football where she'd been lying. It smelt of natural vagina smell.
    It certainly wasn't mine as that was in her and the towel, nor did it smell of pee.

    She was really embarrassed.

    Ladies - please: I know first orgasms can be weird, small, semi-not happening. Do you think we were successful?
    Because it looked like she kind of squirted...

    I'm really sorry to have to ask this but with such a weird history as ours, it would be good to know if this is a success.

    Thank you.

    smellycat19 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, I'm unfortunately one of those women who struggle to orgasm through penetration but from what I've read/heard it does sound like what you are suggesting as squirting? I'm having the similar trouble with a new partner at the moment and always have done no matter who I've had sex with, but on the odd occasion I have had like a tiny spasm through penetration which lasted all of a couple of seconds and often wondered 'is that it?!'
    Hope you can get some other more useful advice, I just thought I'd offer my opinion
    Good luck, I hope it can happen again for you!

    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    No Question is pathetic so don't doubt yourself. By the sounds of this your partner was probably at the peak of orgasm, usually other signs such as hard nipples, deep breathing, puffy lady lips, flush chest and toes curling will also help let you know when you have hit that point.

    I would suggest asking your partner what she felt if she doesn't feel embarrassed to discuss, the creamy discharge or secretions is more than likely a lubrication to keep the vagina safe. I do know a few girls "cum" and they have a real creamy wetness after penetration, so I suggest speaking to your partner and if she had a huge build up and then the "fireworks" she's had an orgasm. If she had a feeling which felt like someone pushing down for her to pee then she may have squirted.

    Good luck in future endeavours and hopefully this is the start of something new for you guys!

    Sir Psycho Sexy [sign in to see picture]
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    My Mrs does similar, but I think it's because it gets to that point where it's extra extra sensitive and that's why she tells to stop and physically moves my hands away when I'm fingering her clit directly.
    The other night she was on her belly and I was rimming her and stroking her g spot at the same time and I think she panics because she feels like she needs a wee and that's when she makes me have sex. My wife is only young, 24 next week and she has never had an orgasm yet which is frustrating, but i think it has more to do with the fact that she isn't in tune with her own body yet. She doesn't masturbate or anything, never has.

    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    For some women clitoral stimulation can be incredibly intense to the point of being uncomfortable and therefore not enjoyable. I fall into this category sometimes.
    For my there is nothing worse than trying to force me past this point. I need to be edged.
    Whether it be solo or with my OH, we back off the high intensity stuff. Not going to full sex but moving to a slightly different area allowing me to recover slightly before going back.

    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
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    I can get that too Naughty Nerd, not always but sometimes with 'sucker' toys like my Womanizer. It gets so intense it starts to hurt so I back off and then return gently.


    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    Hiya, as above no questions pathetic, please don't think that.

    The wet patch sized like a football is a very good indication that your good lady did indeed therefore making you's successful.

    Sometimes with me it's so underwhelming I'm surprised when it comes (no pun intended,) so being inexperienced in the area could be confusing for you both however with her asking you to stop it does sound as though the build up was felt and there was perhaps worry about letting go or an uncomfortable feeling.

    Communication is definitely the key here to find out how your wife feels. My one bit of advice though is to not push her, it would make me run in the opposite direction and with everything you've explained she may be the same.

    Take things slowly it doesn't have to be about the ultimate ending enjoy the bond that comes with enjoying eachothers touch and being close together. Things like back massages, run a nice bath for her with no hidden agenda just because you love her and want to relax and please her.

    I'm only saying they thing's because of you saying your wife doesn't get any sexual pleasure. All the best to you's, hope you continue to have fun together 😙💖xxx

    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Please don't ever think that any of us would ever regard any questions as pathetic. We want to help as much as we can.....with anything ☺

    It sounds to me as though your wife *gushed*. This is the same fluid as a squirt but it kind of just trickles out as apposed to being forced out in a squirting motion. Personally I can't squirt or gush unless I'm having an orgasm.

    Does your wife play alone ? Can she orgasm on her own ? I love clit stimulation.....it's the fastest way to make me orgasm but certain toys can be too intense....or even numbing. Some women can't orgasm because they subconsciously are worried about loosing control. You've been given some great advice already but I guess at the end of the day, the only one who can tell you if your wife orgasmed......is your wife xx

    Jezebella [sign in to see picture]
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    I'd just like to point out it is possible to squirt / gush without an orgasm. I do this regularly. It actually was a point of frustration for me with a past partner: he knew how to make me squirt and would equate that to me having an orgasm, even though I didn't orgasm.

    I think the only way you'll know if your wife had an orgasm is to ask her.

    Mr Frustration [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for your replies - much appreciated!

    Two things I need to point out: firstly there were no "toe-curling" orgasm signs in her. Secondly, she was (as usual) unable to feel more than a tickling sensation which was enough to make her wriggle a bit but not anything more. I asked her what she felt. The answer was a shrug and "nothing".

    She does not "play alone" / masturbate. It's 100% absolutely of no interest to her.

    So, the only evidence I have to go on is this unique and unusual event for us.

    It's utterly frustrating, but I am hoping perhaps today we might have at last made some small progress.

    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    I will echo everyone else and say none of us will ever think a question is pathetic. We are a lovely community and everyone is full of advice.

    For me Clitotal orgasms are totally different to others. I had only ever orgasmed through Clitotal stimulation until recently. For me it was always really intense then suddenly I could not bare to be touched there again. It still is. What I experience, which is different for everyone, is after a Clitotal orgasm I am more likely to have one through penetration. If it's with my husband it is more of a trickle and with a g spot toy it will flow and soak anything that is in my way. It doesn't smell of anything, it's more sticky and sweet than anything.

    As she doesn't really seem communicate with you it is going to be difficult. Not easy to ask how much she enjoyed it or what you can do to please her. Hopefully she will open up to you a bit more. Try a similar technique in the future and see what happens.

    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
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    I echo everybody else here, no judgements here "different voices for different choices" is how we roll here and that's all.

    The communication thing is always the first point to anything changing, without where do you go? And applaude you for coming here and sharing your story, You may never get a defined conclussion to your experience, as different people experience things differently, but you maybe able to garner an educated guess by some of the comments mentioned

    There really is no need to be embarassed about leaks either. Sex involves body fluids, those that you want to see, and sometimes those you'd rather not - but hey you're human right-it happens.

    MrH_Sweetgirl [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi I just want to throw this out there - could your wife have some psycological thought process making her stop you?... perhaps she feels that she 'shouldnt orgasm' that it is something 'dirty' or 'shameful'. When she has an orgasm you and she would both know about it, the tingling sensation builds and the best I can describe it is you feel a build of tension in your pelvic floor the orgasm is the release of this tension, the muscles tense and release in a pulsating fashion like a flower opening and closing.

    Does your wife know you are on this forum? Perhaps she should read the responses. There is no shame in an orgasm and this is something you need to perhaps discuss with her. I do hope that you manage to work thorough this, and as the others have said the stimulation only needs to be gentle, and unfortunaley one of the best ways to learn how it works for you is to do it yourself and learn about your body. I am sure that when she does orgasm she will feel so wonderful she will want to do it again.

    Good luck to you both


    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
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    I can't give any advice that's any better than the wonderful things you've already been told but I do remember the first time I experienced coming to orgasm. It was such an intense unknown feeling that I told him to stop. I had no idea what I was experiencing.

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