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  1. Shared house can do so with a full household

    1499502497
    Senator [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 190
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2017

    My wife and I live in a 4 bdrm house with out 2 teenage children plus an international school aged student. we recently discovered the added benefits to our sex life of things like vibrating cock ring and a love egg. For her impending birthday she has also requested a few more toys (flogger, jiggle balls).

    as keen as I am to continue enhancing our sex life (which recently has been as good as ever in our 20yr marraige), I am somewhat concerned about how we can use all the new items with such a full household.

    Being teenage kids, they tend to stay up later in the evenings, so tucking them in bed early isn't really an option, we both work 5 days a week and really only have time for any intimacy weekend mornings.

    How do others explore their wilder sides with not so young kids around?

    Theyhave learned the hard way not to come into our bedroom in the weekends if the door is closed but I really don't want to scar them with sounds of spanking, buzzing toys etc...

    With a lacklustre sex life, it wasn't really an issue, but now I don't want to go backwards

    sen

    1499504562
    Tallish Darkish & Average [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1769
    • Joined: 24 Oct 2012

    If they are teenagers in the conventional sense one assumes they don't get up in the morning with any real sense of urgency. You say you both work 5 days a week, could you have an early night and set the alarm an hour early and get busy before work / the rest of the house waking up?

    1499505421
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6671
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Pay for them to go and see a movie or something? Get them out of the house for a couple of hours and flog to your hearts content!

    1499510550
    ScumptiousDumptious [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 475
    • Joined: 21 Apr 2017

    I put the T. V / music on to drown out any noise.
    We also get up earlier or make use of the shower.

    1499513614
    Aims85 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 460
    • Joined: 14 Dec 2016

    My kids are awake till 10/11 we just stay up late 😀 or early mornings. I think them getting out would be a good idea... Even just a den in the garden to chill and watch films etc on devices, read etc... I've not idea what they're into just some ideas 😀

    1499517243
    Lilmisshottie [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 322
    • Joined: 24 Sep 2015

    Senator,

    Mr LMH and myself both work full time and have 4 kids,**EDITED**, youngest 5. We also have a 4 bedroom house and all our kids know that dad and mums room is dad and mums room, and they enter at their own risk lol

    We have, since they were little, believed in being open and (appropriately) honest about everything including sex.
    The wee ones we can tuck in bed for "us" time, but for the older 2 not so much, and sending to cinema or out with mates is not always an option. Mr LMH will just say to our older two, headphones tonight!
    We will have a little banter re sex and often this leads to a conversation around sex that we engage in and try to be as open and honest about.
    Our kids always comment on how much we love each other and we endeavour to teach them that there is nothing wrong/bad/embarrassing about sex that it's natural and yes we still have a very full active sex life which is important to us as a couple. And if I am being honest I am proud and hope we are setting an example of what a good healthy relationship is, both of us had parents that divorced in our teenage years.

    I know we all have different opinions on this topic, and other parents may disagree with our approach, but our decisions come from neither of us having openness around the subject with our own parents let alone any discussions about it other than for me it was something that is reserved for marriage only!

    Sex is natural and part of growing up, we know our eldest watches porn and masterbates which again we are open about as is he, we talk about it and try to advise that porn does not truly represent sex and everything it can be. We also hope that our approach will allow our kids to be open about the subject in their future relationships, that they develop a respect for sex and all it can be, whether that is within a relationship or how they choose to explore their own needs/wants etc

    I think sometimes as parents we can forget that without the connection, love and sex between us there would be no children, they are infact a result of our love! Is talking to your 2 teenagers an option? If so maybe be honest that you both need time to be with each other intimately and the aim is not to embarass them but something you want to be honest about.

    Perhaps having music on in your room to drown out buzzing/spanking may be an option if chucking them out is not!

    I am unsure if my comments will be of help, but your intimate time with each other is obviously important to you, enough to share here, and I am of the thinking that it shouldn't be something that is not fulfilled within your relationship.

    I really hope you can find a way through that allows you and your other half to continue to express your love for each other in the best way there is.

    Lilmiss x

    1499529540
    Pinky2105 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1761
    • Joined: 13 Mar 2017

    Lilmisshottie wrote:

    Senator,

    Mr LMH and myself both work full time and have 4 kids, **EDITED **, youngest 5. We also have a 4 bedroom house and all our kids know that dad and mums room is dad and mums room, and they enter at their own risk lol

    We have, since they were little, believed in being open and (appropriately) honest about everything including sex.
    The wee ones we can tuck in bed for "us" time, but for the older 2 not so much, and sending to cinema or out with mates is not always an option. Mr LMH will just say to our older two, headphones tonight!
    We will have a little banter re sex and often this leads to a conversation around sex that we engage in and try to be as open and honest about.
    Our kids always comment on how much we love each other and we endeavour to teach them that there is nothing wrong/bad/embarrassing about sex that it's natural and yes we still have a very full active sex life which is important to us as a couple. And if I am being honest I am proud and hope we are setting an example of what a good healthy relationship is, both of us had parents that divorced in our teenage years.

    I know we all have different opinions on this topic, and other parents may disagree with our approach, but our decisions come from neither of us having openness around the subject with our own parents let alone any discussions about it other than for me it was something that is reserved for marriage only!

    Sex is natural and part of growing up, we know our eldest watches porn and masterbates which again we are open about as is he, we talk about it and try to advise that porn does not truly represent sex and everything it can be. We also hope that our approach will allow our kids to be open about the subject in their future relationships, that they develop a respect for sex and all it can be, whether that is within a relationship or how they choose to explore their own needs/wants etc

    I think sometimes as parents we can forget that without the connection, love and sex between us there would be no children, they are infact a result of our love! Is talking to your 2 teenagers an option? If so maybe be honest that you both need time to be with each other intimately and the aim is not to embarass them but something you want to be honest about.

    Perhaps having music on in your room to drown out buzzing/spanking may be an option if chucking them out is not!

    I am unsure if my comments will be of help, but your intimate time with each other is obviously important to you, enough to share here, and I am of the thinking that it shouldn't be something that is not fulfilled within your relationship.

    I really hope you can find a way through that allows you and your other half to continue to express your love for each other in the best way there is.

    Lilmiss x

    + 1 I am with you on this as we run a open house too 😊

    1499530151
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1406
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    +1 Lilmisshottie, great response, and the only thing I feel I can add is that S&M needn't be restricted to hitty things, especially if you're worried about noise levels. Have you explored pinwheels, or waxplay with bondage candles? 😊

    1499598018
    Senator [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 190
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2017

    Thank you all for taking the time to respond, especially LMH and the detailed response. We are fairly straight up and down, as I mentioned in our post, they know our room and door closed = don't come in, we are generally an open door family.

    This wilder side of our sex life is fairly new, after 20 years she tells me she'd happily wear something like jiggle balls in public (that is part of her birthday wish), and that she wants to be restrained and flogged, I just couldn't have imagined it before.

    @sexsquid, no, haven't thought about those, I'm hoping that this is just the first step in a long journey of discovery, who knows where it may lead, that I think is part of the excitement, I've always considered myself pretty vanilla when it comes to sex.

    During our inebriated session that started it all, I mentioned about wanting to release my inner pervert, but truth be told, I don't fully know what that is. I guess she knows hers :)

    We will have a few weeks in between international students, and the kids are both out together at sport on Wednesdays, so we can certainly up the play then for a while. This will allow time to explore without fear/worry.

    Thank you again

    Sen

    1499619872
    Lilmisshottie [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 322
    • Joined: 24 Sep 2015

    Wishing you and Mrs Sen a fun time exploring your inner perverts together! 😉

    1499623742
    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3142
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2012

    Lilmisshottie wrote:

    Senator,

    Mr LMH and myself both work full time and have 4 kids, **EDITED **, youngest 5. We also have a 4 bedroom house and all our kids know that dad and mums room is dad and mums room, and they enter at their own risk lol

    We have, since they were little, believed in being open and (appropriately) honest about everything including sex.
    The wee ones we can tuck in bed for "us" time, but for the older 2 not so much, and sending to cinema or out with mates is not always an option. Mr LMH will just say to our older two, headphones tonight!
    We will have a little banter re sex and often this leads to a conversation around sex that we engage in and try to be as open and honest about.
    Our kids always comment on how much we love each other and we endeavour to teach them that there is nothing wrong/bad/embarrassing about sex that it's natural and yes we still have a very full active sex life which is important to us as a couple. And if I am being honest I am proud and hope we are setting an example of what a good healthy relationship is, both of us had parents that divorced in our teenage years.

    I know we all have different opinions on this topic, and other parents may disagree with our approach, but our decisions come from neither of us having openness around the subject with our own parents let alone any discussions about it other than for me it was something that is reserved for marriage only!

    Sex is natural and part of growing up, we know our eldest watches porn and masterbates which again we are open about as is he, we talk about it and try to advise that porn does not truly represent sex and everything it can be. We also hope that our approach will allow our kids to be open about the subject in their future relationships, that they develop a respect for sex and all it can be, whether that is within a relationship or how they choose to explore their own needs/wants etc

    I think sometimes as parents we can forget that without the connection, love and sex between us there would be no children, they are infact a result of our love! Is talking to your 2 teenagers an option? If so maybe be honest that you both need time to be with each other intimately and the aim is not to embarass them but something you want to be honest about.

    Perhaps having music on in your room to drown out buzzing/spanking may be an option if chucking them out is not!

    I am unsure if my comments will be of help, but your intimate time with each other is obviously important to you, enough to share here, and I am of the thinking that it shouldn't be something that is not fulfilled within your relationship.

    I really hope you can find a way through that allows you and your other half to continue to express your love for each other in the best way there is.

    Lilmiss x

    +2 great reply.

    1499623860
    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3142
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2012

    Sex Squid wrote:

    +1 Lilmisshottie, great response, and the only thing I feel I can add is that S&M needn't be restricted to hitty things, especially if you're worried about noise levels. Have you explored pinwheels, or waxplay with bondage candles? 😊

    Another good response.

    Sen, have you thought about blindfolds, restraints and feather ticklers, ice cubes as well as the pinwhweels and bondage candles as mentioned above?

    1499676774
    Senator [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 190
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2017

    Hi and thanks again for the continued feedback -

    Yes, I did invest in a few more items for her with our recent delivery (well "for her" ;)), 50 shades feather tickler & 50 shades please sir flogger, Purple reins beginners under bed restraint. We got a blindfold last time, although this hasnt yet been used.

    I think we can taylor it a bit to what time we have and the status of the household. Anything hitty that would make a noise would most likely need both kids distracted with their devices, not a problem (they are fairly hermit like in their own rooms, emerging occasionally for food) or the house devoid of teenagers altogether (I like the sound of the movies, its a 45 min bus ride each way plus the movie, 3.5 - 5 hours of free time). But the restraining, blindfold, ticker and the odd swish of the flogger could certainly be used more easily.

    Unfortunately the closest we have come to temperature play is that fact that it is winter here now, morning frosts and even snow due this week. She feels the cold something shocking so any extra activities requires a bit of forethought (just shifted the heater into the room).

    Ive been busy watching the beginners videos on LH as well as some other youtube channels, trying to learn about what else there is.

    Maybe I am trying to run before I can walk. Its a marathon not a sprint is a term often used in another hobby of mine (weightlifting) and given its taken 20 odd years to discover this, theres no rush.

    Sen

    PS sorry about the title, I was on iPad and it doesn't seem to read very well....

    PPS There seems so much to learn, but what a journey

    1499750834
    Danger man [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 80
    • Joined: 5 Jul 2017

    Senator wrote:

    My wife and I live in a 4 bdrm house with out 2 teenage children plus an international school aged student. we recently discovered the added benefits to our sex life of things like vibrating cock ring and a love egg. For her impending birthday she has also requested a few more toys (flogger, jiggle balls).

    as keen as I am to continue enhancing our sex life (which recently has been as good as ever in our 20yr marraige), I am somewhat concerned about how we can use all the new items with such a full household.

    Being teenage kids, they tend to stay up later in the evenings, so tucking them in bed early isn't really an option, we both work 5 days a week and really only have time for any intimacy weekend mornings.

    How do others explore their wilder sides with not so young kids around?

    Theyhave learned the hard way not to come into our bedroom in the weekends if the door is closed but I really don't want to scar them with sounds of spanking, buzzing toys etc...

    With a lacklustre sex life, it wasn't really an issue, but now I don't want to go backwards

    sen

    We were in the same boat as you, things got so bad that we were resorting to booking days off work just to have kinky sex and then everything felt too setup and neither of us enjoyed it. There is always light at the end of the tunnel though. Now all the kids and grand kids have moved out and we are having Better and more adventurous sex than we have ever had !!👍

    1500237814
    Philp23 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 19 Jul 2013

    I have a 2 year old and hope myself and OH can be this open and honest wth them. In my opinion being honest and open is always going to be better than closed off and still have an active sex life instead of hising it away.

    1501338161
    HappyBoy [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 28 Dec 2012

    Maybe book into a hotel for some afternoon fun some Saturday. Just say you're going shopping or out for lunch. Or say you're going out for an evening meal, but just grab a quick bite and spend the rest of you time in your hotel room. Just remember the "Do not disturb" sign.

    1501514317
    MrH_Sweetgirl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 52
    • Joined: 23 Jul 2017

    We are in a similar situation with our eldest just returned from uni.

    Our youngest rarely leaves the house so when we recently discovered the D/s side of our relationship and a little bdsm thrown in. We took the decision to book one night away in a hotelevery other week. Doesn't have to be expensive unless you want it to be. We where just looking for privacy.


    We have just come back from one such night away at a hotel. We took everything we needed for a fun filled afternoon, Evening and morning 😘

    Believe sweetgirl has posted some reviews of some of the products we took.

    I would recommend them too

    MR H

    1501584219
    Senator [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 190
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2017

    Thanks for the continued feedback. Our first "play date" went spectacularly when kids went back to school. Not only the play / sex but also the communication before / during / afterwards.

    we both agreed that it definitely requires the feeling of freedom and not being rushed, so a school day is ideal, plenty of hours.

    I like the idea of a hotel, our own children are responsible enough for us to leave them overnight (and legally old enough), but we also host an international student whom we are responsible for, the rules of hosting mean we can't leave them without adult supervision so rules out hotel night for now.

    cheers again

    1501588637
    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
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    Our son who has just moved back after 2+ years away, walked into us mid session a week or two back (days after his return) Fortunately we were able to be covered as he entered the room. Cue a right good talking to, after coming back an hour and half before he said he would.

    We have had a free rein for so long that anywhere and everywhere is what we do and just didn't think to insure against this, like leave a key in the lock. He does return when agreed and not before now. Poor lad was in shock...

    1501620504
    Senator [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 190
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2017

    Poor lad. Obviously as children grow older, they are more aware that the parents "have sex", but knowing they do and actually walking in where the details of what's actually going on may or may not match up with what they thought we do, that would prove interesting.

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