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  1. my oh wants to put me in cock cage full time I'm reluctant any help or thoughts???

    1498897737
    Sextoylovers [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 16
    • Joined: 28 Feb 2015

    Although the thought of not being able to touch without her permission is a bit of a turn on I worry bout stupid things like wearing to work when out at pub in toilet at urinal if we argue ect anyone in this position been in this position or have there man in this position your experiences and views would help as it's a big commitment to me and she says as time goes on she wants me with butt plug in at all times to unless in toilet but this would be purely on trust thanks for reading and replies more than welcome

    1498898077
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7151
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    I don't have any experience of chastity.However you shouldn't be forced into anything your not comfortable with. Perhaps you need to revisit your boundaries first.

    On the chastity side of your question there are guys on here who can answer your query.

    1498898172
    Sextoylovers [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 16
    • Joined: 28 Feb 2015

    I do love the idea and it's a turn on knowing i would have to beg her to release me it's just new to me and daunting lol

    1498899345
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1375
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    I have recently got into chastity, can be incredible in the bedroom, but I'm not a lifestyle player, and have never gone to work locked. I've taken to sometimes being locked at the weekends and love it!

    If you thought you were a conscientious & giving partner before, just wait until your orgasms are controlled 😏

    1498900154
    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1145
    • Joined: 5 Dec 2016

    Is this a shared profile as all your other posts have been from a woman?

    1498901567
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1375
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    Browncoats wrote:

    Is this a shared profile as all your other posts have been from a woman?

    Yep, their profile is shared. Be handy if posts were signed off P or J though 😉
    1498903395
    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1145
    • Joined: 5 Dec 2016

    Sex Squid wrote:

    Browncoats wrote:

    Is this a shared profile as all your other posts have been from a woman?

    Yep, their profile is shared. Be handy if posts were signed off P or J though 😉
    Yes I was very confused. I did have a look at the profile but didn't see the bit I had to click see more for. (I'm on my phone so it was hidden) sorry if I've offended sextoylovers I was just very confused (doesn't take much)
    1499010373
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 839
    • Joined: 27 Sep 2007

    We are occasional weekend players with chastity and certainly not into the lifestyle/marathon lockup end of the spectrum. I think one aspect of wearing a chastity device even for short periods is that it makes even quite low levels of arousal quite noticeable which is great for us older guys who maybe start to think we don't get turned on like we used to. A chastity device will convince you that isn't true and rather that we have perhaps grown so used to it we don't notice any more.

    In a review I described a chastity device as a toy for the man's genitals and the woman's mind and I think it still holds good. My wife certainly finds it so though has never explained to me quite what the appeal is for her.

    One aspect of the play we really enjoy is for my wife to ride the cage which we both find delightfully frustrating often resulting in a hurried search for a key.

    1499016534
    Modo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 761
    • Joined: 20 May 2015

    I think even the long term players would put some thought into it before sending you out to work in a cage. Depending on the kind of work you do there are risks involved. Having to go through a metal detector or turning up at A&E in a cage would not be most peoples idea of fun.

    Being ordered to put it on as soon as you walk through the door is a turn on in itself and when she takes it upon herself to click the padlock shut every time, well that will make it difficult to get it on in the first place.

    As for the plug well it goes without saying that it would need to be relubed from time to time so is prob best left to more controlled situations such as around the house.

    Good luck

    1499025384
    chisel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 470
    • Joined: 4 Nov 2015

    My wife uses a chastity cage on me when we have special guests over the weekend. I'm locked in from 6pm on a friday until 3pm on sunday. I am released for 1 hour just prior to bedding down and 1 hour in the morning and these are for showering, toilet use and anything else I can fit in. I have to pee with it on, have a swim and exersice locked in, it can get a bit painful when the old fella wants to have a stretch but he can't go anywhere so he retreats. It's just part of my humiliation infront of our guests.

    1499027680
    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1477
    • Joined: 23 Nov 2011

    I'm 24-7 in chastity, A CB3000. Its nicely hidden in certain trousers bet not so much in tighter tailored trouser. If we have to go anywhere where it shows too much I'm allowed out until we get back in our home then straight back in. For toilet use you will need to use a cubicle and carrying cotton buds to manoeuvre your pee hole in the cage is very helpful. I'm allowed out every other day for cleaning but it's under supervision to make sure I don't have a play. Love the whole teasing aspect and my oh loves having me under her control and deciding when she wants me out to have sex although sometimes she certainly enjoys keeping me caged whilst i pleasure her with no pressure of anything in return. Almost 2 years now and it has really helped our sex life for the better. It isn't for everyone but if you are interested and she is it won't do any harm to research and try. It's ok at first but when it becomes normal and the cage becomes less of a focal point and rules are made that include being kept in the cage if you keep asking to be released then you will find out if chastity is really for you.

    1499069544
    coffee2sugars [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 45
    • Joined: 30 Nov 2010

    We have done this full time 24/7 until last about a year ago when we started exploring the swinging scene.

    We still play a little though and it can be great fun and very arousing.

    Take you time with it. Your body will need to adjust to the rings but if you try yo rush into 24/7 play straight away you will get sore and it could be painful. The key is little and often building up to full time.

    Buy a key safe that you have access to. That way in the event of emergencies your partner can text the code to the safe to you so you can remove the device.

    Love honey do some great toys but for 24/7 wear I would recommend a custom made device for comfort along with supportive pants instead of boxers to help shoulder the weight of the device and take it off your balls plus a bottle of moisturising cream to rub on your sack when the ring starts to dry your skin out.

    Also make sure you are familiar with Sub drop. It can affect both you and your partner. Being locked will increase your hormones and endorphin levels to a higher than normal ammount and your brain over time will become used to this. When you finally get a release thise levels drop rapidly and can cause you feel low and question alot of things. Its important to understand whats happening and support each other.

    There is alot of good advice and information here for both you and your wife http://mjkhscotland.co.uk/chastityboard/

    1499072329
    AsYouWish! [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 9 Oct 2012

    Some people set a key in wax or a block of ice so it can be accessed in emergencies but not without the key holder knowing.

    1499073130
    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1963
    • Joined: 24 Oct 2012

    Great advice given so far, I just wanted to pop a wee message on here as reading your profile set off alarm bells. I get that you guys are both(?) new to BDSM and are probably eager and excited BUT there is a real lack of respect for boundaries coming across here. You (the male) said you didn't want anything up your bum, so your partner bought a plug without your permission, tied you down and put it inside you. She then did not remove it when asked. It doesn't matter how much you came at the end of this play session, this is a setting a really dangerous precedent in your relationship. Do you have a safe word? You need to have the ability to stop things if/when they get too much if you're going down a sub/dom route. Sure, the bum play turned out to be something you enjoyed, but that does not excuse boundaries being ignored; what if you hadn't enjoyed it? You'd be feeling pretty damn violated!

    Also in your profile your partner belittles your saying no by labelling you 'a typical guy' when you say no to sissification and strap on play and that's she's going to 'persuade you'. I can't stress this enough; YOU NEED TO BE ALLOWED TO SAY NO. Not being allowed to say no is not being a sub, and pushing your partner to do things they don't want to do is not being a dom. What happens when your partner brings something home you really don't want and your no is still not respected? Three words; safe, sane, consensual. Not 'you'll like it if you try it' or 'I want this so you'll do it to please me', actual 'yes please' consensual. Is this cock caging the first step in your partner's persuading you to become a cuckold, sissy or have a strap on used and more to the point, do YOU want any of these things to happen or do you want it to stop at chastity? Because honestly they're all great things if you're into them, but if you're not and you're persuaded to do them anyway you're at best not going to enjoy this turn in your relationship and at worst going to destroy your relationship. You really need to be clear on this from the start as it is not good BDSM practise to manipulate your partner into doing things they said no to by getting them to do something else first, which is unfortunately how it comes across in your profile and posts so far.

    I'd honestly be sitting down having a good long conversation about respect, boundaries, safe words and the fact that permission for or enjoyment of one activity (like chastity) is not an automatic lead in to others (like sissification or strap on play). Got to get the gound work in place if you're both going to enjoy a safe and fulfilling sub/dom dynamic. Remember, when you (male) say in your profile there's some things you're not comfortable with but you're getting there, you don't have to say yes to or obey everything sexual whim your partner has just because you have donned the sub dom titles, that's not what it's about. If you don't want to 'get there' with an activity you don't have to do it. You need to be dominated in the way you need not just the way your dom needs, if that makes sense. And always remember, sometimes you like the idea of something and get turned on by it (like you seem to be with chastity) but when it comes down to actually doing it it isn't as enjoyable as you though, it's okay and it's fine to like the idea but not the execution. You don't have to do anything that makes you genuinely (not playfully) uncomfortable and you can say no after trying it as well. Please please please be safe in your play! I don't mean to sound condescending or judgemental btw, like I said reading your profile got me worried so just putting it out there :)

    1499075008
    coffee2sugars [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 45
    • Joined: 30 Nov 2010

    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    Great advice given so far, I just wanted to pop a wee message on here as reading your profile set off alarm bells. I get that you guys are both(?) new to BDSM and are probably eager and excited BUT there is a real lack of respect for boundaries coming across here. You (the male) said you didn't want anything up your bum, so your partner bought a plug without your permission, tied you down and put it inside you. She then did not remove it when asked. It doesn't matter how much you came at the end of this play session, this is a setting a really dangerous precedent in your relationship. Do you have a safe word? You need to have the ability to stop things if/when they get too much if you're going down a sub/dom route. Sure, the bum play turned out to be something you enjoyed, but that does not excuse boundaries being ignored; what if you hadn't enjoyed it? You'd be feeling pretty damn violated!

    Also in your profile your partner belittles your saying no by labelling you 'a typical guy' when you say no to sissification and strap on play and that's she's going to 'persuade you'. I can't stress this enough; YOU NEED TO BE ALLOWED TO SAY NO. Not being allowed to say no is not being a sub, and pushing your partner to do things they don't want to do is not being a dom. What happens when your partner brings something home you really don't want and your no is still not respected? Three words; safe, sane, consensual. Not 'you'll like it if you try it' or 'I want this so you'll do it to please me', actual 'yes please' consensual. Is this cock caging the first step in your partner's persuading you to become a cuckold, sissy or have a strap on used and more to the point, do YOU want any of these things to happen or do you want it to stop at chastity? Because honestly they're all great things if you're into them, but if you're not and you're persuaded to do them anyway you're at best not going to enjoy this turn in your relationship and at worst going to destroy your relationship. You really need to be clear on this from the start as it is not good BDSM practise to manipulate your partner into doing things they said no to by getting them to do something else first, which is unfortunately how it comes across in your profile and posts so far.

    I'd honestly be sitting down having a good long conversation about respect, boundaries, safe words and the fact that permission for or enjoyment of one activity (like chastity) is not an automatic lead in to others (like sissification or strap on play). Got to get the gound work in place if you're both going to enjoy a safe and fulfilling sub/dom dynamic. Remember, when you (male) say in your profile there's some things you're not comfortable with but you're getting there, you don't have to say yes to or obey everything sexual whim your partner has just because you have donned the sub dom titles, that's not what it's about. If you don't want to 'get there' with an activity you don't have to do it. You need to be dominated in the way you need not just the way your dom needs, if that makes sense. And always remember, sometimes you like the idea of something and get turned on by it (like you seem to be with chastity) but when it comes down to actually doing it it isn't as enjoyable as you though, it's okay and it's fine to like the idea but not the execution. You don't have to do anything that makes you genuinely (not playfully) uncomfortable and you can say no after trying it as well. Please please please be safe in your play! I don't mean to sound condescending or judgemental btw, like I said reading your profile got me worried so just putting it out there :)

    Have not read your profile but this is good solid advice. Any relationship takes mutual trust and respect especially the sub/Dom ones. Remember you have to be happy in your lifestyle and activities for it to work and be fun.
    1499097914
    AsYouWish! [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1521
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2012

    By the way, your OH has another thread asking which cages are inescapable!
    #buysomewirecuttersquickly!

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