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  1. Dating predicament... Please help!

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    Lyndav71 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 255
    • Joined: 25 Feb 2017

    Birdyboyuk, I think you are right to go on the date on Saturday. You haven't just chatted to her but you say you have been on a few dates. This indicates that you like her enough to have gone on more than one date !

    Bit of advice as soon as you meet the girl on Saturday turn your mobile off - you have told the Ex your going on the date so you don't want any texts/calls or notifications of any kind to disturb your night.

    I agree with all of the advice above. You were beginning to move on. It is nice your ex has explained why she broke up with you and it is good you can empathise and understand her reasons. Hopefully that will give you a closure or at least a realisation that it wasn't anything you had done that caused the problem.

    October to June is a long time to realise your ex has made a mistake and at this point she shouldn't be expecting anything from you apart from your understanding after all she threw the relationship away without communicating with you what was going on. OK maybe she was in a bad place and couldn't explain at time but in the present situation all she should expect is to apologize and explain and hope you forgive her. She should not be expecting a relationship with you and most she could hope for is that you consider her a friend.

    I'm not saying you are right or wrong to tell Ex about date but it does demonstrate you are a decent and honest guy and that you are willing still to go on the date shows you have feelings for the new person even if not clear what yet and that you are not going to be a push over.

    You are in the enviable position of the ball is in your court whatever you decide.

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    Lyndav71 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 255
    • Joined: 25 Feb 2017

    PS good luck on your date on Saturday

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    outlaws [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 20
    • Joined: 3 Jul 2012

    Enjoy the Date, try not to think of your ex or compare on the evening and try not to be in contact with your ex this week, Clear you mind for the next few days and think of Saturday night. Relax and enjoy

    1498636868
    More Sexy at 50 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 199
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2017

    All the advice was spot on, be confident go on the date and take it from there. Good luck.

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7159
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    Good luck with your date.

    You never know she could be the Mrs Right .

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6532
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2015

    Good luck with the date! Let us know how it goes.

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    LadyBi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2014

    You sound like a really lovely guy, you're wanting to be fair and honest and not mess anyone about. I'm really glad you're going on the date, it'll be fun and interesting and you never know where it might lead. My advice is to continue to be honest: with yourself first, then with the ladies. Then you will know you've done the right thing, whatever happens.

    Please think hard about going back to an ex, you may always wonder if she will end it again and /or you need to be absolutely sure you believe her reasons for finishing it. You also need to believe why she came back to you now - and did she see anyone else in between! I personally mistrust the 'I had too much on my plate' reason for finishing a relationship; surely you would need your partner more than ever? Not dump them! And why not be honest at the time?? Finally, why is she suddenly so desperate to have you in her life having ignored you for some months? It just doesn't ring true! I'm sorry to be cynical but it comes from experience of life, mine and others, that you need to add a little objectivity to matters of the heart; it's too easy to rush and get things wrong.

    Why don't you consider telling your ex that you need time to think about getting back together? Then you can go on your date as a singleton and see how your ex behaves over the next couple of weeks? She has no right to demand anything, including the details of your date! And certainly no right to be stroppy because you've finally started to move on with your life!

    You're not a couple again until you both agree you are, so this way you give yourself time to enjoy your date, to examine your feelings for your ex and see how she behaves. If she's genuinely sorry she should be showing it, not getting huffy over a first date that might not even happen!

    Finally, after a couple of weeks of being able to see how Ms Ex behaves, ask someone who knows you well, and whose opinion you value, whether you're doing the right thing getting back with her - and make sure you listen carefully to their reply! You have every right to take your time and she has no right to push you around. If you do decide to try again what about starting with a 'first date' - not trying to restart it from where you left off, never mind rushing into marriage!

    Why marriage? Why so fast? Why you? Please be sure there's no baby on the way ...

    Good luck and I'm sure we would all really appreciate an update on your decision 😊 x

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    LadyBi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2014

    One more very important thing: trust your instincts! I can vouch for 'love at first sight'! I'd never have believed it but we knew instantly how we felt about each other, we spent the whole night together after our first date and we're about to celebrate 25 yrs of marriage! It's not always been easy, thanks to the harsh realities of life, but we've always known we're soul mates.

    Does either of these ladies make your heart beat like crazy just thinking about her? Could you live on a desert island with nobody but her? Would you do anything for her? Would she do anything for you? Because that's love
    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7159
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    LadyBi wrote:

    One more very important thing: trust your instincts! I can vouch for 'love at first sight'! I'd never have believed it but we knew instantly how we felt about each other, we spent the whole night together after our first date and we're about to celebrate 25 yrs of marriage! It's not always been easy, thanks to the harsh realities of life, but we've always known we're soul mates.

    Does either of these ladies make your heart beat like crazy just thinking about her? Could you live on a desert island with nobody but her? Would you do anything for her? Would she do anything for you? Because that's love
    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    I quite agree with the "Love at First Site " . Whilst I wouldnt call it love at this stage something clicks in and the butterflies start. Thats IMO is when you know you have found the ideal person .

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    Heidi920 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1160
    • Joined: 17 May 2011

    Youve had some great advise already but wanted to say enjoy your date and keep an open mind x

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    Birdyboyuk [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 38
    • Joined: 5 Nov 2007

    So, I've just got home... 22 hours later!! 😁
    The date went really, really, really well! Better than I expected!
    I'm over the moon, can feel myself grinning from ear to ear... Such a great feeling!

    We had our dinner and a couple of glasses of wine at 7:30pm, and before we knew it, it was 9:30pm!
    Decided to go out to town, went to a few bars and next minute it was now 3am!! 😄😄
    She invited me back to her place, and we got to sleep around 6am lol.... Sleep...So over rated!! 😂

    I am so glad I went on this date... I feel I would have regretted it if I didn't!
    Thanks again for your good luck wishes... It certainly did the trick, we will be seeing each other again for definite!

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    Lyndav71 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 255
    • Joined: 25 Feb 2017

    So glad date went well, as you say this wasn't first time you have met up with her.

    Brilliant news

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    Heidi920 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 17 May 2011

    That's fantastic! Super pleased for you x

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    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    So pleased you had such a great time together...... hopefully many more to come xx

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    That's the best news this weekend

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    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 19 Feb 2015

    Glad to hear the date was such a success!

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