• Bedroom flops...

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    dandafun [sign in to see picture]
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    Not in that sense...

    Have you ever tried something, only for it to not do anything for anyone involved?

    For example, wifey enjoys a little over the knee spanking every now and then. Big turn on for her, I quite enjoy it and it always leads to a lot of fun afterwards. One night however, I enquired as to whether she would like to be the spanker rather than spankee. In the interests of science, she gave it a go. We quickly swapped positions and set to with our investigations. Needless to say I ended up draped over her knees like some oversized salmon, having my backside gently wobbled by her petite hands (which in her defence, we're doing their best). It wasn't a particularly enjoyable experience for either of us and certainly didn't induce any arousal. It wasn't even that comical, so it's not as though we laugh about it.

    The whole episode was a literal and figurative flop.

    Anyone else have a similar tale of bedroom woe?

    1498162138
    Heidi920 [sign in to see picture]
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    At least you both gave it a go and can tick it off the list of curiosities!

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    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe you could look at some spankers on here?

    1498164654
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    We'd been curious about watersports for a while. I needed a wee when I got in the shower that we were sharing and as I went to get out, he stopped me. He told me to give it a try and let go. It wouldn't be too messy as we were in the shower anyway. After checking he was sure, I let go. About ten seconds later I got a horrendous case of the giggles after he ended up slipping in it. It's safe to say it didn't do anything sexually for either of us on that occasion. We haven't revisited since!

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    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
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    Lol! This thread could be quite amusing... 😂

    I haven't had a flop as such, but I was going down on my OH recently and I suddenly gagged. Not because of him; but our dog had farted and she was on the floor at the bottom of the bed, not that far away from me and it just hit me right in the face! It made us laugh uncontrollably and totally ruined the mood!

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    Heidi920 [sign in to see picture]
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    That is hysterical sexybabe. Having pets in the bedroom is always off putting in someway!

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    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    NatandTom wrote:

    We'd been curious about watersports for a while. I needed a wee when I got in the shower that we were sharing and as I went to get out, he stopped me. He told me to give it a try and let go. It wouldn't be too messy as we were in the shower anyway. After checking he was sure, I let go. About ten seconds later I got a horrendous case of the giggles after he ended up slipping in it. It's safe to say it didn't do anything sexually for either of us on that occasion. We haven't revisited since!

    Made my day with that Nat 😂
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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    I once got cramp in my calf muscle, while trying an adventurous position; I dove off the bed hopping round the room trying to work the cramp out, while screaming. Cramp can really hurt.

    My OH just lay on the bed and couldn't stop laughing; fun times postponed for another time.

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    Hazeladam [sign in to see picture]
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    Not really any flops but funny moments, I can think of 2 at the moment

    1st was similar to Alicia, wife and myself going at it Doggy and all of a sudden I get cramp in my thigh and attempt to leap off the bed but completely messed it up and managed to end up on the floor rolling around with cramp in my thigh.

    2nd wife was going down on me, she gagged which made her cough which then made her fart and that was it both of us in hysterics at that point

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    TandM [sign in to see picture]
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    Hazeladam wrote:

    Not really any flops but funny moments, I can think of 2 at the moment

    1st was similar to Alicia, wife and myself going at it Doggy and all of a sudden I get cramp in my thigh and attempt to leap off the bed but completely messed it up and managed to end up on the floor rolling around with cramp in my thigh.

    2nd wife was going down on me, she gagged which made her cough which then made her fart and that was it both of us in hysterics at that point

    Oh yes the cramp.Thtas happened to us more than once and its always my calf muscles.Wow its painful and totally kills the mood as when the pain hits everything else is just nowhere.

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    Cumacumacumachameleon [sign in to see picture]
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    During foreplay my naked wife threw herself backwards towards the tail end of the bed so I could get a panoramic view of her. Unfortunately the week before we had bought a new king size bed which had a rail between the raised bed posts at that end. She bumped her head, I couldn't stop laughing and she got into a grump. Two paracetamol and make up sex saved the evening.

    My previous long term partner had been away for five weeks with work (in India). First night back I met her at my parents house and after they had gone to bed we got down to a welcome home shag on the living room carpet. Things were going great (with her on top) until she asked me to stop trying to put a finger up her arse. Innocent of the charge I gave her a wave of both hands. We had a quick look around to find my parents old dog had come in from the kitchen and was shoving his wet nose up her arse for a sniff. The dog got pushed away and we carried on (should have locked the dog in another room, but five weeks without sex left us both too eager to stop), but it took ages to finish because whenever we got close the dog would circle for a fuss, a sniff, or just sat there watching us (maybe this is how dogging got it's name). The final passion killer was when the dog let out a fart that left our eyes watering.

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    Couple looking to spice things up [sign in to see picture]
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    😂thanks for the giggles guys! I haven't experienced anything on par with these but if I do I'll let you know. X

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    shell74 [sign in to see picture]
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    it was about 4 years ago now that it happend one day the ex came home and was all over me which i was supprised as she never did that before so i ask if she was turned on to which she said yep then turned round and begged me to rim her so i did as she asked then there was knocking at the door with the words "mummy" this in turn made her jump which in turn made her fart ( at this point im still rimming her ) so i get a mouthful of fart which by now sounded very wet so for the next hour or so i had fart breath lol

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    kittykat93 [sign in to see picture]
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    I was once rinding my OH and we was really going at it and somehow i ended up flying off the bed landing on my hair dryer which i'd left on the floor, I ended up with biggest bruise on my bottom and i honestly couldn't sit down for about a week!

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    Lu SB [sign in to see picture]
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    Before I got married with my OH, we used a condom every single time we had sex. But we always waited just before penetration to put a condom, but by that moment we were so horny that we end up being in a hurry and not making sure the condom was properfly fitted.

    That was until the day when we had a lovely time and when ejoying the afterward bliss, realised that the condom was missing. Looked everywhere and the penny dropped: was inside me. We were really worried, but at the same time, couldn't stop laughing. After a lot of poking, bending, twisting and laughing, we managed to get it out, but that was a bit stressfull.

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    Tallish Darkish & Average [sign in to see picture]
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    I bought this:
    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=33910&reviewid=165655#customer_reviews
    I think my review sums up the experience!

    1498306250
    Private_member [sign in to see picture]
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    Lu SB wrote:

    Before I got married with my OH, we used a condom every single time we had sex. But we always waited just before penetration to put a condom, but by that moment we were so horny that we end up being in a hurry and not making sure the condom was properfly fitted.

    That was until the day when we had a lovely time and when ejoying the afterward bliss, realised that the condom was missing. Looked everywhere and the penny dropped: was inside me. We were really worried, but at the same time, couldn't stop laughing. After a lot of poking, bending, twisting and laughing, we managed to get it out, but that was a bit stressfull.

    Had a very similar thing but it was the first time with a new partner after a 25 year marriage. She came over for the 1st time, we had some wine on the patio, got frisky and went inside, got naked on the sofa and had a lot of fun, when we finished and I withdrew finally there was no condom to hold onto.

    We of course were a little concerned, did the hunting under sofa cushions, a little exploration internally but still no condom. We went to bed later, had some more fun severl times but in the middle of the night I was still worried and got up and hunted around the sofa again but still no 'joy'. Going back to bed I woke her up and she was interested in a little more fun, while exploring I found the condom way back inside, no laughing for us, just thankful I have lazy sperm.

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    dandafun [sign in to see picture]
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    Browncoats wrote:

    Maybe you could look at some spankers on here?

    Nice idea, but not really for us. No amout of saucy spanking implements will detract from me feeling like a 6ft+ toddler being told off (it really was that much of a flop). Also, a large part of the joy I get from spanking wifey is feeling her bare bum with my hands.

    Loving the other replies too!

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    The Woodie [sign in to see picture]
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    Can't say I've never had a bedroom flop, but never had one as hilarious as these.

    Thanks to all for sharing, I had the best laugh in a long time.

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