• Wait! We think you’re in the US - Lovehoney.com is a better site for you.
    Shop there and get 10% off!
    United States Flag
    Go to Lovehoney.com
  1. Cumming too soon 😔

    1497388247
    ying81 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 5 Aug 2016

    I'm after some advice on products or techniques for staying power. ( I have tried the Taurus spray but just feel that I struggle to maintain an erection)
    I'm trying to rekindle my sex life with my wife but I have become very conscious that I do not last very long and am getting myself worked up about it.
    Any advice greatly appreciated

    1497390816
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1127
    • Joined: 16 Aug 2016

    Have you tried cockrings? They may help

    1497391152
    paulsballs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2446
    • Joined: 24 Jul 2014

    I find masturbating a couple of Times two and one hour before sex helps but that's if you now sex is on the cards

    Good luck

    1497393887
    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2616
    • Joined: 11 Apr 2016

    Cock rings! That is my best advice. There are so many to choose from. We like the ties for increasing time. Have you spoken to you wife about it?

    1497394102
    BigRedBike [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 19 Apr 2017

    Rosycheek, could you explain what you mean by the 'ties'.

    I would like some help in this area myself

    Sorry if I'm hijacking the thread.

    1497405825
    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2616
    • Joined: 11 Apr 2016

    Of course, ones I mentioned are like these:

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28652

    This one is currently on offer.

    What we love about them is you slide the toggle to a perfect fit and its easy to take off too. We have several cock rings now, we can't get enough! We have metal ones, disposable ones, vibrating ones, plether ones... But out favourites are the adjustable ones. They can be super discreet and don't do anything fancy except keep your erection. There are no bells or whistles, just make you last that little bit longer and allow you to keep going after climax

    1497437848
    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1368
    • Joined: 9 Nov 2016

    If all else fails try condoms to desensatise your penis.

    1497439433
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1734
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Here is a copy of a post I made on another thead a while ago. It may be of some help.

    There are are other things you could try. There have been a number of guys come on here with the opposite problem to what you have; and for the most part it could be put down to heavy handed masturbation making it hard for them to get off through PIV sex, because they become used to the strong sensations a hand can produce.If you were careful not to over do it and end up with that opposite proble it may help your situation.

    Other things you can do are keep changing positions, as the time it takes to change can give you a short break from stimulation, letting you cool off so to speak. Try as many different positions as you can think of, and see if there are any which don't do it for you quite so much. so you can use this position to start with and switch to one which turns you on more to finnish; you may of course like them all as much as each other, but it may be worth a try.

    If you get more stimulation from what you are seeing as many guys do, you could try being blindfolded; but again some people find that more of a turn on.

    Try the old trick of thinking about something other than what you are doing, eventually you can learn to control the intensity of your sexual thoughts during sex, if you keep trying.

    Do you clench your pelvic floor muscules, which increases the strength of your erection an so can make you come faster, if you do you can try not to do this during sex, it may help. You may find that doing several of such things at the same time will give better control than just trying to use one.

    Find out if there are any thrusting techniques that give you less stimulation, such as short and shallow in between slow, longer deeper thrusts, or full withdrawal after each thrust, or full penetration and more grind your hips than in out thrusting, your OH may like this, as if you get it right it can give good clitoral stimulation, and give you minimum stimulation on your shaft.

    You don't say how long you last but, I remember LH Jess commenting a while ago that the average is only 5 or 6 minutes. It can be as much about all the other things that you can do in lovemaking, rather than just concentrating on PIV sex. It's just getting your head round it' as nature tells you that PIV sex is what you should be doing.

    Short term, maybe you could try getting her closer to orgasm, with oral etc, before starting PIV sex. More "her" centered foreplay. Put some oral, etc, inbetween possition changes, to keep her going, and give you time to cool off even more. Sort of foreplay in short spells, between short spells of PIV sex.

    If you are still having trouble, it is worth noting that it likley won't be an instant fix, it will be something you have to learn over time, and with persiverence.

    1497440264
    ying81 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 5 Aug 2016

    Thank you all for your help and tips.

    1497440306
    ying81 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 5 Aug 2016

    We have spoken and she says it doesn't affect anything, it's more a personal concern at the moment

    1497441432
    MDH [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 33
    • Joined: 21 Feb 2017

    To re-iterate what others have said - a cock ring works well. I know the issue you're worried about - and understand how it nags away at the back of your mind - and the worrying makes it worse.

    I was a bit sceptical about cock rings (but now have a variety) but they do work. Additionally as confidence returns, you might find the problem goes away - so you end up using the ring for fun and not out of necessity.

    Never tried ties - but might now in the light of RosyCheek's comment above.

    On a different tack...foreplay...foreplay...foreplay...so that when the moment arrives there may be less need to last ages to give your partner her ultimate pleasure.

    1497567694
    Reg90 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 593
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2015

    I find cockrings are good for making me last longer as it numbs me. Another method I use is masturbating close to the point of cumming then stopping and repeating a few times.
    I know it can be disheartening but keep going.

    1497571763
    defam [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 27
    • Joined: 14 Jun 2011

    As Reg90 suggest, you might want to try 'edging' when masturbating. Get right to the edge, then stop and take your hand away altogether for a few seconds. As you get practiced, try to get as close to the 'point of no return' as possible.

    Obviously ejaculation during sex is a very different matter, but 'edging' can still help you increase control over your timing. (If you manage to 'edge' for an hour or more, you may also have the best solo orgasm of your life, so that's a bonus!)

    1497609430
    More Sexy at 50 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 199
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2017

    Lots of great advice on here from the forum members.

    From your last comment did you mean your OH is not concerned that you don't last long ? If that's the case just try to relax its not a issue between you. I'm not sure what age you are, but as you age things do slow down. Back in my 20s I'm pretty sure I didn't last that long, but on occasions now I feel my Wife's impatience 😃

    I would try to focus less on yourself and focus on your OH. If you spend time on foreplay and bring her to orgasm first, no need for PIV, then she will be happy no matter how long you take when you do penetrate her.

    1497611319
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 12146
    • Joined: 20 Aug 2014

    My oh dosen't always last too long once hes inside me. He always makes a point of using his tongue, fingers and toys both anally and vaginally during loads of foreplay. I have usually had at least half a dozen orgasms by the time he actually enters me by which time I'm so sensitive that I orgasm again almost immediately. Sex is not all about how long you can 'last' its about making it enjoyable for both of you. And please.....dont worry...you'll make things worse and you wont be able to enjoy yourself if you're worrying. The advice regarding cock rings, edging etc is brilliant. Your wife clearly isn't concerned....just concentrate on having fun together xx

    1497611452
    JohnA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 120
    • Joined: 12 Nov 2011

    I've had this problem a few times, especially with new partners. I've found Durex Performa condoms worked well, as did Extra Safe (because they're quite thick). When the circumstances allowed, I could also withdraw and quickly remove the condom when the time was right and then could re-enter and cum inside my partner, the condom having done its job of stopping me firing too soon. Hope this helps.

    1497613176
    More Sexy at 50 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 199
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2017

    One lovely way for you both to relax during penetration is to try this. This usually works best after all the foreplay and your OH has had 1, or a few, orgasms. Get her to lie belly down flat on the bed and for her to get comfy. You can use massage oil or as my Wife prefers a gentle scratch/stroke on her back whilst entering from behind. Straddle her with your legs to each side so it frees your arms and hands. Your OH may need to guide you in for penetration as the angle is not terrific, but that is part of the plan as you will not be able to thrust much at all, just gentle rocking. Now distract yourself by making sure your OH is getting fully relaxed giving her a massage or a rub. Really focus on your OHs relaxation and pleasure and just enjoy the gentle sensations you will be getting. My Wife flexes her PC muscles sometimes rather than having any motion, this is a nice gentle feeling. I'm sure I'm not alone as a man in taking pleasure not from the ejaculation and orgasm, but the pleasure of such intimate physical closeness to the one I love. If you manage to last longer and your OH is nearly asleep, yep this can be a real problem, then just stretch your legs backwards using your arms to stabilise you can transition to thrust pretty well to "finish off". For me this position feels animalistic, primitive, and at this point my Wife is just ready to get to sleep so lasting is really no concern at all. I think this technique is called a "three handed" massage. Anyway I hope this idea may work for you. PS your legs can get a bit cramped, but somehow you will not notice this till after you have orgasmed, I think being aroused must act as a painkiller, probably all those endorphins and adrenaline 😀

    1497621556
    chisel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 473
    • Joined: 4 Nov 2015

    I use the one RosyCheeks mentioned. I have to tighten it up just prior to cumming and it does hold it back but you can only do it so often and then boy stand back as the discharge will knock you over !

    1497639385
    Dodge25 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 16 Sep 2013

    I'd don't think I'd last long if I was your husband looking at your photos Terri jj

    1497641638
    Sex Squid [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1375
    • Joined: 13 Sep 2006

    More Sexy at 50 wrote:

    One lovely way for you both to relax during penetration is to try this. This usually works best after all the foreplay and your OH has had 1, or a few, orgasms. Get her to lie belly down flat on the bed and for her to get comfy. You can use massage oil or as my Wife prefers a gentle scratch/stroke on her back whilst entering from behind. Straddle her with your legs to each side so it frees your arms and hands. Your OH may need to guide you in for penetration as the angle is not terrific, but that is part of the plan as you will not be able to thrust much at all, just gentle rocking. Now distract yourself by making sure your OH is getting fully relaxed giving her a massage or a rub. Really focus on your OHs relaxation and pleasure and just enjoy the gentle sensations you will be getting. My Wife flexes her PC muscles sometimes rather than having any motion, this is a nice gentle feeling. I'm sure I'm not alone as a man in taking pleasure not from the ejaculation and orgasm, but the pleasure of such intimate physical closeness to the one I love. If you manage to last longer and your OH is nearly asleep, yep this can be a real problem, then just stretch your legs backwards using your arms to stabilise you can transition to thrust pretty well to "finish off". For me this position feels animalistic, primitive, and at this point my Wife is just ready to get to sleep so lasting is really no concern at all. I think this technique is called a "three handed" massage. Anyway I hope this idea may work for you. PS your legs can get a bit cramped, but somehow you will not notice this till after you have orgasmed, I think being aroused must act as a painkiller, probably all those endorphins and adrenaline 😀

    3 handed massage, love it! Must try this :)

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.