• Girlfriend has found my butt plug now going to break up

    1496782287
    DaveFor [sign in to see picture]
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    I have been seeing a woman for 3 months now.

    We get on very well except the other day she saw my butt plug and has freaked out.

    Now she say that hates the idea and refuses to even listen to my reasoning.

    We are just about to break up .

    What can I do ?

    1496782857
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    If she won't listen I don't think there is much you can do.

    I would suggest you go find someone who is more accepting and open to your personal likes. It's not like you were asking her to partake in something she wasn't comfortable with - so why should she react so harshly?

    If you're really into her, then you will have to raise the subject again, hopefully she may have had time to think about it a bit.

    Good luck either way - and welcome to the forums xx

    1496782898
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Give her time to cool down. She might have jumped to the annoyingly common conclusion that being interested in anal makes you interested in men. *sigh*

    If she isn't willing to listen to you and wants to end a relationship over a butt plug (that I assume is for your use only and you didn't push her to try it?) then that's her loss. 

    1496783120
    lace21 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi davefor sorry to hear this. What have you tried to explain to her? It's early days for a relationship being only 3 months but she should be a bit more understanding. At this stage of a relationship you should be getting to know each other and be non-judgemental and if anything at that stage of wanting to try new things. If she can't get her head round 'what you like' then maybe she isn't right for you as you both need an understanding towards each others likes/dislikes. Try talking to her and maybe see what she likes, as they say 'don't knock it till you try it!' All the best ☺

    1496783334
    DaveFor [sign in to see picture]
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    She has lots of other problems going on as well.

    This may he been too stressful for her to deal with.

    So far its been about 3 days.

    We are just about talikng , but I think I wil be blocked by her very soon.

    She has had a lot of bad releationships i the past.

    1496783622
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    I am sorry she has had bad relationships and is going through bad times at the moment, but none of this gives her the right to judge you for what you enjoy.

    If talking isn't an option then perhaps you have to accept the inevitable xx

    1496783672
    lace21 [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't let it get you down, like you said she has a lot of issues and this may have been something that tipped her over the edge if she has got a lot of stress at the moment. Issues from past relationships can have an impact on future ones and can cause people to struggle with 'new things'. Don't let this make you change who you are, if she can't except you then maybe let her go.

    1496784013
    DaveFor [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm willing to talk to her, as I still have strong feelings.

    I know she does too, just she cant deal with men and buttplugs, even though we did some kinky things that we both liked.

    I was so tempted to say we should break up as we can't resolve this, but I was hopping she would start to accept that I like it.

    Breaking up may be the only option as the stress is getting to us both,

    1496784173
    lace21 [sign in to see picture]
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    Breaking up isn't nice for anyone. Try talking about it and how this has made you feel, even ask her what is causing her stress in general she may appreciate the off load and may help you both.
    Hope you solve this one but don't let it get you down you need a mutual understanding for this relationship to.go anywhere.

    1496784196
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Do what is best for you both - let us know how you get on xx

    Sending hugs xxx

    1496786640
    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
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    I can't understand it, why does it bother her so much? If she doesn't like them that's fine, she doesn't have to use them! What you do with your own body is your business.

    I'm very strong minded so I have a strong opinion on this but it's your call - and there's some great advice above. If I got with a man or woman and they didn't like something I was into, I wouldn't let it get to me. If they wanted to end it because of that thing then I'd quite clearly tell them to jog on! Love is accepting someone whatever their likes or dislikes. I couldn't be with someone who wasn't like that.

    Anyway I'll stop ranting now, sorry if that wasn't very helpful! I hope you get the result you want ☺️

    And welcome to the forums!

    1496786786
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    *sexybabe* wrote:

    If she doesn't like them that's fine, she doesn't have to use them! What you do with your own body is your business.

    +1 👍🏼

    1496787726
    SmokingHotLove [sign in to see picture]
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    NatandTom wrote:

    Give her time to cool down. She might have jumped to the annoyingly common conclusion that being interested in anal makes you interested in men. *sigh*

    If she isn't willing to listen to you and wants to end a relationship over a butt plug (that I assume is for your use only and you didn't push her to try it?) then that's her loss.

    +1 ☝️

    I feel it's not so black and white though! There's more to it for sure... you talk about her previously bad relationships? I'm guessing (from what you've said) it's nothing to do with what she found, and more the fact that she had to find it! Trust is key in feeling respected by a partner.

    And if you've discussed seeing a future with each other and really wanting this relationship to work, she'll feel betrayed that at this early stage you're not being truthful and keeping things from her. Apologise and explain you maybe dealt with it wrong and tell her honestly why you felt you couldn't tell her. I really hope you two can work it out. Good luck

    1496794362
    collector [sign in to see picture]
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    Ask her if she would consider reading this thread.

    1496810915
    Tiger Dick [sign in to see picture]
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    It also maybe that although she's heard about a womens G-spot, she isn't aware of the male P-Spot. Maybe need to educate her on this revelation.

    1496817396
    bondagegod [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't understand why she needs to break up with you over you enjoying butt plugs. You need to talk to her and find out the reason why. If there are going to be over toys you might enjoy in the future and if she reacted the same way again then you do need to consider you possibly might not be suited.

    1496821180
    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
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    In the nicest of ways, if all it takes for her to dump you is a butt plug then it wasn't going to work out.

    Its not like you cheated on her or physically hurt her. I understand she has had bad relationships and this therefore must have put her reality out of whack. It is just a butt plug.

    It is something you like and gives you pleasure, I dont understand why that is suddenly a bad thing as you stated you have both done kinky things together, theres an under lying issue there for her.

    You should not stop using butt plugs to maintain a new relationship, I wouldnt stop something that gave me pleasure just to satisfy someone who has been in my life for 5 minutes.

    If you are bothered then try to talk to her and if she has lost it over a butt plug then if I were you id just let her go.

    🐼

    1496823757
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    SquirtyPanda wrote:

    In the nicest of ways, if all it takes for her to dump you is a butt plug then it wasn't going to work out.

    Its not like you cheated on her or physically hurt her. I understand she has had bad relationships and this therefore must have put her reality out of whack. It is just a butt plug.

    It is something you like and gives you pleasure, I dont understand why that is suddenly a bad thing as you stated you have both done kinky things together, theres an under lying issue there for her.

    You should not stop using butt plugs to maintain a new relationship, I wouldnt stop something that gave me pleasure just to satisfy someone who has been in my life for 5 minutes.

    If you are bothered then try to talk to her and if she has lost it over a butt plug then if I were you id just let her go.

    🐼

    +1 I was going to respond in a similar way but SP worded it much better.

    1496824295
    Kanu Suckmeov [sign in to see picture]
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    collector wrote:

    Ask her if she would consider reading this thread.

    Thats exactly what I was thinking. Just ask here to not only read this thread, but to look at the whole LH site. It looks to me that she needs to be made aware of what other people are getting up to, and enjoying themselves at the same time.

    Good luck!

    1496839041
    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
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    Great advice here! 👍🏼

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