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  1. Who Instigates the bedroom shenanigans?

    1497448936
    JHill [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 11
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2015

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    99.9% of the time it's me. Because my husband is way to lazy to initiate anything! So we also end up just doing what he wants

    Perhaps you need to take control so you end up doing something you want to do for a change. You never know unless you try ,he may just welcome somehing like that for a change . Just an idea .

    We've been together 10 years, whenever I have suggested somthing I want to do, or tried to get him to do somthing I want to do, I just get accused of being selfish and told that everything is always about me.

    1497449078
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7150
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    JHill wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    99.9% of the time it's me. Because my husband is way to lazy to initiate anything! So we also end up just doing what he wants

    Perhaps you need to take control so you end up doing something you want to do for a change. You never know unless you try ,he may just welcome somehing like that for a change . Just an idea .

    We've been together 10 years, whenever I have suggested somthing I want to do, or tried to get him to do somthing I want to do, I just get accused of being selfish and told that everything is always about me.

    He's the one thats coming accross as being selfish. Perhaps you need to have "That Chat" .

    1497449226
    JHill [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 11
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2015

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    99.9% of the time it's me. Because my husband is way to lazy to initiate anything! So we also end up just doing what he wants

    Perhaps you need to take control so you end up doing something you want to do for a change. You never know unless you try ,he may just welcome somehing like that for a change . Just an idea .

    We've been together 10 years, whenever I have suggested somthing I want to do, or tried to get him to do somthing I want to do, I just get accused of being selfish and told that everything is always about me.

    He's the one thats coming accross as being selfish. Perhaps you need to have "That Chat" .

    I've tried to get it though to him so many times but falls on deaf ears, apparently a blow job is meant to satisfy me as much as him lol

    1497450949
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7150
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    JHill wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    99.9% of the time it's me. Because my husband is way to lazy to initiate anything! So we also end up just doing what he wants

    Perhaps you need to take control so you end up doing something you want to do for a change. You never know unless you try ,he may just welcome somehing like that for a change . Just an idea .

    We've been together 10 years, whenever I have suggested somthing I want to do, or tried to get him to do somthing I want to do, I just get accused of being selfish and told that everything is always about me.

    He's the one thats coming accross as being selfish. Perhaps you need to have "That Chat" .

    I've tried to get it though to him so many times but falls on deaf ears, apparently a blow job is meant to satisfy me as much as him lol

    Oh dear. The only thing I could suggest is to withdraw your services until hes prepared to have a talk .

    1497451913
    JHill [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 11
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2015

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    99.9% of the time it's me. Because my husband is way to lazy to initiate anything! So we also end up just doing what he wants

    Perhaps you need to take control so you end up doing something you want to do for a change. You never know unless you try ,he may just welcome somehing like that for a change . Just an idea .

    We've been together 10 years, whenever I have suggested somthing I want to do, or tried to get him to do somthing I want to do, I just get accused of being selfish and told that everything is always about me.

    He's the one thats coming accross as being selfish. Perhaps you need to have "That Chat" .

    I've tried to get it though to him so many times but falls on deaf ears, apparently a blow job is meant to satisfy me as much as him lol

    Oh dear. The only thing I could suggest is to withdraw your services until hes prepared to have a talk .

    I'd love to withraw my services altogether and find someone more fun! But money dictates

    1497551818
    Browncoats [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1083
    • Joined: 5 Dec 2016

    JHill wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    mysteron wrote:

    JHill wrote:

    99.9% of the time it's me. Because my husband is way to lazy to initiate anything! So we also end up just doing what he wants

    Perhaps you need to take control so you end up doing something you want to do for a change. You never know unless you try ,he may just welcome somehing like that for a change . Just an idea .

    We've been together 10 years, whenever I have suggested somthing I want to do, or tried to get him to do somthing I want to do, I just get accused of being selfish and told that everything is always about me.

    He's the one thats coming accross as being selfish. Perhaps you need to have "That Chat" .

    I've tried to get it though to him so many times but falls on deaf ears, apparently a blow job is meant to satisfy me as much as him lol

    Oh dear. The only thing I could suggest is to withdraw your services until hes prepared to have a talk .

    I'd love to withraw my services altogether and find someone more fun! But money dictates

    I felt like that once and it was scary when I finally left but I wouldn't have met Captain if I'd stayed. Please don't settle with unhappiness because ypure scared you can't afford to be alone. (o hope you don't mind me saying this)
    1497658833
    Hazeladam [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 137
    • Joined: 28 Jan 2016

    MrGoodGuy wrote:

    Always me. And it's not nice.

    Is she doing it to please me?

    Tried leaving it a while to see if she'd get horny and instigate?

    Think she'd go celibate for the rest of our lives if I left it to her.

    Love her to be sexy and give me the come on - think the devil will ice skate to work before that happens

    Same here, she seems to enjoy it once we get going though

    1497772653
    More Sexy at 50 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 198
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2017

    Same here too always me and yes we have had long periods of abstinence: birth of children, work, life, tiredness etc... Ive actually had condoms go out of date twice, which considering the bbe date is pretty incredible ! She seems to enjoy it when I do instigate so it is all a little confusing, does she or doesn't she enjoy sex ? I honestly think she could be celibate, it wasn't like that in the first 7 or so years, but something changed. I've been trying to talk to her about our life experiences, childhood, parents etc.. and we have had some good discussion, but no progress on what changed our intimacy. Find that I'm getting frustrated after so many years, but I've finally plucked up courage to speak with her about our intimacy and things have improved in the last few months, but I'm now starting to get "snippy" comments about how I'm imagining problems that don't exist. My fear is that our intimacy will stop improving and then I'm not sure what I'll do, she is so wonderful in every other way and I do love her so much. Been with my Wife 36 years, married for 25 of them, she has been my only partner, quite scary really......

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